As Liebs doesn't do well with change, we've already told him we plan to ttc soon. Not in so many words, of course! But changes are already happening and he loves the fact it's a secret for us 3. We will tell him about the pregnancy shortly after we know, as more changes will occur immediately (ie I will refuse to carry a 7yo around). He is already prepared for that change.
Depends on the child, but I say tell you children before extended family or work. It's only fair and does impact them more.
My older children were 5 and 7 when their little sister came along. We had the intention of not telling them until after 12 weeks, but by the time I was almost 10 weeks people had begun to guess - not drinking alcohol, nauseous and an obsession with Slurpees!! I was really concerned that someone would mention it in front of their own children who would then go to school and tell my children. It was really important to DH and I that we be the ones to tell them. So, at around 10 weeks we sat them down and told them that there was a tiny baby in mummy's tummy but that it was a special secret for just the four of us to share for a few more weeks until the baby was big enough to tell everyone else about. Miss 7 didn't say a word to a soul... but Master 5 walked in to school the next day and yelled across the playground 'Hey, Mrs XXX, my mum's having a baby!!!'. Aaaaahhhh... yes. So much for secrets! I don't have a history of pregnancy loss and fortunately, all progressed well with this pregnancy.
Having a larger gap has been fantastic and that baby will be 3 next week. She is adored by her brother and sister and she adores them back. Congratulations!
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