Tinkerbell, I come from a *totally* dysfunctional family so I've been keeping my eyes and ears peeled for a few years now, observing those families around me that *do* work. The one thing I've noticed is that families who make an effort to spend quality time - doing activities they all enjoy TOGETHER on a regular basis seem to make it through the rough patches better than those that don't. Ok so some of it's pretty daggy - like games nights or watching a movie together (of young persons' choosing) - some of it might be family rituals like Sunday lunch or BBQ or monthly get together with cousins - but if you're spending enjoyable time on a regular basis it makes it easier to get through the rough patches. HTH