When honesty is not the best policy??

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Just curious, and not criticizing, but you seem ok with some lies anyway. White lies about theft and violence. I understand white lies to be about not hurting people, like saying a new haircut looks good when you hate it but the person loves it. Not stealing lollies and hitting people.

Why are those ok but not thanking someone for a gift they don't love the second they see it? Sorry if that seems rude, just something I've been thinking about since my earlier post and couldn't think of a less abrasive way of asking.

[myturn]

Just curious, and not criticizing, but you seem ok with some lies anyway. White lies about theft and violence. I understand white lies to be about not hurting people, like saying a new haircut looks good when you hate it but the person loves it. Not stealing lollies and hitting people.

Why are those ok but not thanking someone for a gift they don't love the second they see it? Sorry if that seems rude, just something I've been thinking about since my earlier post and couldn't think of a less abrasive way of asking.

I don't think she's saying the White lies the kids tell are okay, just that they generally don't lie except to tell those typical children lies (which I assume she deals with) whereas this situation is different and is telling the child to lie in order to protect other people's feelings.


I'd go with what CPPM originally said... You're thanking them for the thought, and you certainly don't ask for something different! Lol. Hopefully the gifted understood its kids learning social niceties. X

[Astrolady]

My oldest did this once. He got clothes from friends of ours and turned around said "Clothes what sort of present is that". I was so embarrassed and apologised for his outburst. He has never received clothes from them since.

[Peekaboo]

Just curious, and not criticizing, but you seem ok with some lies anyway. White lies about theft and violence. I understand white lies to be about not hurting people, like saying a new haircut looks good when you hate it but the person loves it. Not stealing lollies and hitting people.

Why are those ok but not thanking someone for a gift they don't love the second they see it? Sorry if that seems rude, just something I've been thinking about since my earlier post and couldn't think of a less abrasive way of asking.

I don't think lying about theft and violence is okay, sorry if my post came across the wrong way. I just meant that usually my older two are very open and honest, apart from the odd lie to try avoid getting in trouble. Maybe calling them white lies was the wrong choice of words, but they are dealt with then and there.

My DS2 is 7. I think I probably went about it the wrong way when I spoke to him later at home. I had apologised on his behalf, but was still feeling pretty embarrassed about his initial reaction. He had thanked the gifter (his cousin), but then asked his aunt to swap it.

[Livinthedream]

I think that 7 is old enough to be able to politely accept a gift regardless of weather you like it or not.
I would explain to my child that they are very lucky to have received anything at all, and that it's rude to ask someone to exchange or replace something they have given.
I don't see how you are asking your child to lie, you are teaching them how to be appreciative of the kindness of others.

[dinky]

This is something that I have spoken with my kids about from a very young age. Basically because I have been around young kids all my life and I know that they don't have that filter to stop them from saying things that may hurt others feelings, they are just totally honest, regardless of what may hurt people.
I have always taught them that they are to be polite and say thank you for the gift regardless if they like it or not, or even if they already have it, it doesn't matter, we will work it out later! This has always been done really well, a few times I have had to remind them to say thank you politely, and not be rude, but usually it hasn't been an issue.
My DD9 is grateful for everything she gets now and is more than happy to get the smallest of things, she is usually a little over enthusiastic about things that I know she isn't too keen on. But clothes are a real hit with her, she is a total fashionista!!!