taking bullying further

[Footsteps]

I hope you get a reasonable response from the school. I was bullied for years and my school did nothing. I think the plan you have in place is perfect x

[mrscricket]

Good luck Yael and good on you for standing up for your son. I too hate it when people tell kids to fight back. My brother was bullied for years by a boy on the bus, and nothing was ever done about it until the day my brother 'fought back' by punching the bully in the nose and he was the one that was suspended, with no consideration for the years of torment he had gone through. Hope everything works out for you xx

[Mel_B1981]

I don't have children so can't comment on what I would do in your situation, but I can remember my brother being bullied (and beaten up) by a kid that was in my year level (3 years above my brother). My Dad lost the plot and called the school demanding the child's parents address phone number so he could discuss the situation with the other child's parents (it was all happened on the walk too/from school so never on school property therefore out of school's control).

The school gave the phone number and my Dad called them and they provided their address so Dad could go over and discuss further. He took my brother with him (black eye and all from the most recent attack) and Dad, and the other kids parents ripped through him about it.

My brother was never bothered by this kid again.

Obviously times have changed a bit since this happened (this was in the 80s), and the chance of the school giving out the other parents phone number or address are slim....but you never know, they might be listed in the white pages or something and you could contact them and discuss their child's behaviour directly with them and let them be the ones who assist handle the matter if the school won't help.

[Yael]

I was lucky there was a cancellation with the psychologist this morning, so I got to have a good chat about it.

She feels the bruising is significant (it isn't huge or anything, but it was only a few hours later), and agreed on our plan of approach. She is staying back late at work to make sure she gets an email to the school psychologist (who is the one she normally deals with in relation to DS), to ask

1) did she know about the incident
2) what is their policy about physical incidents - i.e. incident report, informing parents, checking child for injury and was the policy followed in this case.
3) what is their policy on bullying - i.e. how is it escalated
4) how was it dealt with last time
5) do the boys parents know what is going on?
6) how are they going to proceed.

She tells me technialy she doesn't have mandatory reporting, teachers & doctors do, but not psychologists (which is stupid IMO, as kids could tell their psychologist this), but she will allude to it anyway as she can report it if she wants to, she just doesn't have to.

If the school psychologist doesn't deal with it properly, she will escalate it to the principle (which I hope that somehow it gets back to him, as he is friends of my BIL, and I've been really impressed at how he has dealt with things in the past - he has only been there for under a year), but hopefully the school psychologist will inform everyone at the school.

I emailed them today and asked for a "copy of their comprehensive bullying policy" that it says we can ask for in the parent handbook... They don't have any printed copies around so hopefully they will email it so I can forward it to the psychologist before she writes the letter. I always find having their information & policy to use against them works best!

I just hope we can get this resolved.

Mel - I know they parents, know where they live & their phone number.. It's really awkward when I run into the mother & make small talk because I have no idea if she knows, or maybe she knows about her son but doesn't know who he is doing it to? I would prefer at this stage to let the school deal with it, and if they are not doing so then I will consider going to them directly.

It's all about playing my cards right at the moment I think

Will let you know how the next few days go.

I have a meeting at 9am at the school with his classroom teacher (who was the one on yard duty that day) & the school psychologist to see how DS is settling in.. And then off to the hospital at lunchtime for my op. Let's see how high my blood pressure is!