50/50 custody

[doll]

Thanks so much for your comments.
I do want to move away, and if I did that due to the distance (about an hour & a half) he would only have them every 2nd weekend. However as a compromise I could move closer to where I want to live and they could still go to their current school (by private bus) and potentially could still see their dad regularly either 50/50 or some other arrangement.

It's interesting people haven't recommended 50/50. We have a good relationship and at the moment the kids stay with him every second weekend and also 1 or 2 nights a week. The kids are being shuffled about a fair bit which I worry about, I thought one week on, one week off actually might offer them more stability/routine than our current arrangement.

I wish I knew what to do.

[Stevie]

i have a friend who does this with her 7 yo as far as i know it works well for them,
my Dad does it it with his 3 youngest kids and their mum, he wants them full time, and the kids dont like goig back to their mum but its the best arrangement that she (the mum) would settle for. it works for them (dads GF also has 4 kids that are there full time)

i personally couldnt think of anything worse.. i couldnt be away from my kids like that. and the kids as well, to you it may seem "stable" but i honestly think it looks anything but.. but thats just my 2 cents.

[bubno.3]

Well it works for me ....as it is hard work raising 3 kids alone ...so yes ill admit i agreed to it to keep my sanity as raising 3 kids 13 5 and 2 1/2 is hard slog for 10 days straight and trying to squeeze work in as well.
I do 50:50 with the younger two nearly 5 and 2 1/2 and now is works well (since ex has split with the live in nanny) We use a family day care as well as he works and i do as well... so on the off weeks thats when i work my bum off...my oldest son sees his dad the weekends the others go but he comes home the tues after training at 7pm so i get 5 days reprieve... but he is off on the bus in morning and home by bus and when i work he goes to a friends house until i get home ...

Like tonight im exhausted mentally and physically and i cant wait for the tomorrow as my 5 days start .... it works the kids see the father and they have a less stressed out mum!
BUt it only works if you really make it work and explain to the kids why in simple terms...

Sorry for the ramble i hope that made sense

[~clover~]

Well it works for me ....as it is hard work raising 3 kids alone ...so yes ill admit i agreed to it to keep my sanity as raising 3 kids 13 5 and 2 1/2 is hard slog for 10 days straight and trying to squeeze work in as well.
I do 50:50 with the younger two nearly 5 and 2 1/2 and now is works well (since ex has split with the live in nanny) We use a family day care as well as he works and i do as well... so on the off weeks thats when i work my bum off...my oldest son sees his dad the weekends the others go but he comes home the tues after training at 7pm so i get 5 days reprieve... but he is off on the bus in morning and home by bus and when i work he goes to a friends house until i get home ...

Like tonight im exhausted mentally and physically and i cant wait for the tomorrow as my 5 days start .... it works the kids see the father and they have a less stressed out mum!
BUt it only works if you really make it work and explain to the kids why in simple terms...

Sorry for the ramble i hope that made sense

Sorry, I hope you didn't take my comment about convenience the wrong way. The person I'm talking about didn't work, or have other children at the time, & only seemed interested in her weeks off.
Everyone is different. I know how you feel, I am raising 4 alone, 365 days a year & working part time taking my youngest to work with me because I have no one to take her. I'd love the choice of week on/week off! But with my kids father, I would never allow it

[bubno.3]

clover: all good sweet

[bubno.3]

Clover: where do you live here in vic as FDC can accommodate you and help you with your kids and give you 'respite' so you can have 'you' time

[~clover~]

Im over in WA. My mum comes up every few months & helps out where she can with DD. But I also have lots of friends with kids for coffees (my sanity). I do know I need a break, but today im coping tomorrow I might add some alcohol to my coffee :P