Reply With QuoteTotally agree with misty. Great post!
All the best
Have you heard of the love dare?
Registered User
I think you have to earn your way out of a marriage. Particularly with this reason. It may be a very valid reason to dissolve the marriage, but I think you owe it to yourself and to your DH to do everything you possibly can to regain some of that connection that you previously had.
Truthfully I think all marriages go through similar things and that many people just give up too easily. I remember hearing an old married couple on Oprah once. they were asked what their secret to staying married for 50yrs was. Their reply "not falling out of love with each other at the same time". There is a lot of truth to this I think.
You need to get to reknow your hubby, start dating again, talk about your goals and desires out of life. It isn't good enough just waiting for him to change into whatever you are hoping / looking for. It won't matter what he does / doesn't do if you are not plugged into the marriage and actually 'want' to recapture whatever it is you feel is missing.
Marriage is so much more then 'love and romance'. It is a partnership, and it is a friendship. And just like any partnerships or friendship, they evolve and they change and the peopl in them change as do their expectations.
Like I said, it may be the end of the line for your relationship, but if that is the case you need to do everything you possibly can with 110% effort to try and keep the relationship. If you can honestly say YOU have tried absolutely everything possible, and do not want to be there; then you can move on. If you move on before this, then you are not giving yourself or you hubby the chance you deserve.
Registered User
Totally agree with misty. Great post!
All the best
Have you heard of the love dare?
BellyBelly Member
Another great book is love and respect...its really eye opening....
Just from another perspective, You guys have seperated for a while before, haven't you? (sorry if I'm thinking of there wrong person) but you keep coming back together, so there must be something there and something to bring you back together but then its just hard to know how to be together?
I think maybe you guys just need to keep searching and reading books and working together and talking to find how to be together, cause marriage is far from easy some times.
Best wishes with everything
sometimes the wind's blow us in different directions and blow's away the connection that was there.
We take on different roles in our lives....lover, wife, mother.....and more then often when our priorities change we see things with a heavy heart.
Can you remember what bought you 2 together in the first place?
FWIW, I think many of us go through this in our marriages...doubt creeps in, repulsion, dead end feelings. You might need to see if you think its worth saving honey
your an incredibly strong woman...maybe its one of the reason's DH cant see what's wrong
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Misty - fantastic post!
DH and I went through a really really rough patch, fighting through frustration more than anything, plenty of nit picking going on. BUT, we both hung on. And that flat spot, a lot of which I recognised in your words, has become far behind us and now things are better than they have EVER been in the 11 years we've been together.
Saying that, only you know what's happening in your own marriage. I'm sure plenty of people fall out of love. Good luck with whatever decision you choose.
Registered User
:yeahthat:
Have been thinking of you today Freya.
And that's why sometimes they fail. For me what I would put up with changed as I grew as a Woman - spiritually, emotionally... I couldn't accept the treatment I was getting. I couldn't accept certain ways of living/being in Society. So yes whilst it's true that marriage has to be worked on it is also true that sometimes as we grow as people certain behaviors or ways of being just cannot be accepted as okay anymore...
It's a tough one with no easy answer.
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