BG - Yes I did forget about today being a public hol.. How inconvenient!! My Mum had to remind me also when I tried to book a removalist lol..
N2L - He wont have any representation yet. He would only get it if his mum or dad do it for him.. I think he thinks I'll just be like his other son's Mum and just spend the next lifetime arguing.. Not going to happen. I think he'll get a shock.
I called legal aid when we first broke up and it was explained to me that consent orders were first port of call, but if we couldn't come to an agreement mediation would be the next step.. I'm hoping once he realises I am serious about getting sorted legally he'll just agree to what I want. He wont actually WANT to have J.ett, it will be his parents that'll encourage him to fight legally. Hopefully he wont though, he never did with his ex. They still have no formal arrangement and still fight between themselves and the child is 7.... That's what I DON'T want!
ETA: I was just thinking how ridiculous this is.. He would have to know that no court would give him full custody. He wouldn't want it anyway, so all this money and fighting would be a waste when the end result would be no different to what I'm prepared to agree to. I hope we don't have to go down this path...
Consent orders aren't actually very difficult. I would suggest that you write down what you want as far as custody and access (and try to be reasonable to him) then contact him and say that this is what you want to have in place legally with consent orders lodged in court. Explain to him that it protects him as much as you in that his access to Jett will be guaranteed. He won't have to fight you to see his son.
Make sure you make clear what days he's supposed to have his son, what time pickup would be and when drop off would be. Detail information about who will have him for birthdays and Christmas and big events like that. And perhaps put in there that he may see his son at other times 'by agreement between both parents' or something similar.
If he agrees, then you can contact the Family Law Courts and they can give you information that will allow you lodge the orders yourself. It's not impossible for you to do it yourself, though it can be fiddly. But if you wish to see a lawyer (and it can be faster because they know what sort of terminology to use), you'll have all the details that you've already agreed to, and it'll be a pretty fast process because you've done the agreements ahead of time.
Now if he argues with what you're proposing, and you don't find his counter proposal agreeable to you, seek mediation immediately. The Family Law Court process should be a last resort because it's not the place to work out your differences.
I'm sorry you're in this position BAL, lots of love to you and Jett x
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