Child's choice in custody

[Amaunet]

I find it hard to express my opinion on this issue/situation. I'm sure I would be very distressed as a mother in this situation but I would hope I could behave calmly so as not to make it more emotional for my children. The scenes of their removal were awful but I can't help feeling the mum fueled the girls hysteria and if she had been able to behave in a more calm and reassuring manner the girls would have been less distressed too iykwim

How awful for their father to have to see that as well

I hope the mother now gets a fair hearing in the Italian family courts.

ETA: sorry, realised my post doesn't actually address/answer the OP

[Cass72]

I was actually quite cross watching the news yesterday with her yelling out "I love you" to the kids at the airport and wailing. I know it sounds harsh but...

• she took the kids from their home, their father, family and friends two years ago
• she lied to both her children and their father
• if it was the reverse the father would have been accused of all manner of things
• there are three sides to every story - his, hers and the truth

All she succeeded in doing by wailing at the girls at the airport was to upset them more and make them more confused oh, and try to rally support from the media.

She should have told the girls that she would come back with them if that was the only way she could be with them. She should have told them that she was in the wrong, that she made a mistake. She should have told them to be strong.

When your kids are hurting you don't turn it into something about you. You show them support. You empower them so the can move on. You provide a sounding board so they can yell, cry and scream. You help them pick themselves up. What you don't do is manipulate them into feeling guilt, bewilderment, anger, hurt or self pity.

The girls have had two years living in another country and were essentially isolated from the rest of their family. It's not hard to give kids new memories and turn their way of thinking. People say oh, they've lived here for two years with their mother, don't send them back - imagine living for two years without your kids.


....my piece said ... I'll get back into my box now...

No, children cannot "choose" who they want to live with. (Depending on which state they live in) the child has to attend a private hearing with a judge and tell them why they want to live with the other parent. The judge then takes that into consideration when determining who the child will live with.