Yup that is exactly right Trac. That is why I find it sooo funny that my ex wants to try and take me to court for Ash, when he works most days from 3am to 3pm and is living in a tiny room at his friends house... yeah right!
I am back sorry it has taken me nearly 24hrs but i am here.............and no bub hasn't been in pain for 24hrs LOL
Emma - I was told while going through the process that all cases are treated differently and that you need to careful which battles you fight. My DD is now 4 yrs old and goes to her father once a fortnight for 4 nights until she attends school and then it is your basic one weekend a fortnight Fri - Sun and half school holidays. While in his care she is in a one bedroom house that she shares a room with him (which i am not happy about) but i wa advised not to fight this as the courts let fathers have their chidlren in a caravan as long as it is somewhere for them to sleep. When we were nutting out orders i just kept in my mind what was best for my DD, and excepted the fact that she needs to spend time with her father ( as much as i hate him and he didn't want her, it is her right) and she will decide when she is old enough whether she wants to go or not but at the moment she needs to. It is the hardest thing going through the court system. Noone fell pregnant for a complete stranger to make decisions about there child for them and that is the hardest part. The next hardest part is the cost to date it has cost me $28,000 and i am hoping that it is finally completed now (well until her father wants something to cahnge again or he is not happy about)
Goodluck with Everything Emma and if you wish to chat please do not hesitate to PM me whenever you need. Sometimes it is nice to have somone that will listen who does literally know what your going through.
Keep your chin up, look at your precious son and spend quality time with him and GO and GET LEGAL ADVICE....................................
I am going through custody issues with my ex at the moment too. I left him because he was emotionally abusive, and so every step of the way in our journey to resolve custody is paved with thick layers of nastiness and manipulation from him. We have been apart for nearly 5 months now, and I have let him have 50/50 care of my girls (3 and 5) since then, because (like someone else said) you need to pick your battles, and until we get our day in court (because I am sure it will come to that) I am trying really hard not to rock the boat - for the sake of my own sanity as much as anything.
My advice is to get onto the Family Relationship Centre or Unifam or one of the other organisations that provide family dispute resolution, ASAP. I actually spoke to FRC the day I decided to leave my husband, and we still haven't reached mediation stage yet. As the others have said, the law now requires you to at least attempt mediation before going to court. But to get that far takes months, and you need to try to provide some sort of stability for your son - and yourself - in the meantime. You didn't say how old your son is, but he is in daycare so pretty young. His age will be a big factor in what gets decided (by you guys together or in court) because they are not going to grant 50/50 access if he is very young.
Having said that, and depending on his age, can you sit down and think about your own situation and your husband's, and see if you (on your own is probably best) can come up with a way that 50/50 could actually work? Does he have family that could help with drop-offs and pick-ups some days? He may just be saying he wants 50/50 to hurt you, and maybe he just hasn't given it enough thought to realise that he just can't do it. Maybe if you lead the way and come up with a plan, he might realise how impossible it will be to take care of his son 50% of the time, or maybe he will actually be able to do it but realise once he IS doing it that it's not what he wants... or maybe it will work and he will want it and it will be best for your son.
As far as his statement that it doesn't matter because the courts are more lenient these days - well that is just wrong. What he can and can't provide DOES matter, and it will be what matters most. Lenient isn't the right word - more like 50/50 is considered the best outcome if it is achievable - ie practical and the parents can work together without excessive hostility and most of all if it will be in the best interests of your son as far as his welfare and having the best possible relationship with both parents.
Unfortunately, until your parenting plans are in place, nothing is enforceable. You know your husband and your son better than anyone here, but just be careful not to stir him up so much that he does something stupid like take your son and not give him back when he is supposed to - because at the moment, he has as much right to keep him as you do.
That is why I find it sooo funny that my ex wants to try and take me to court for Ash, when he works most days from 3am to 3pm and is living in a tiny room at his friends house... yeah right!
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