Hi, i have posted this in the intro section as well, but thought i will post in here too.....

im new to this forum, but i am hoping i can get some advice from people who have been in a similar situation to me. I prob wont be posting much in most of the forum, but will be in the family section, especially under the separation/divorce section. Bit of background [sorry if its longwinded]
I have 3 kids
DD-16
DS-14
DD-4 1/2
Back in '09 i was devastated to find out my husband of nearly 17 years had been having an affair. In my fog of disbelief i believed the right thing to do was to work it out for the sake of the kids, so i never left or kicked him out of the house...but he did have to sleep on the couch, which lasted a week. Anyway, we tried to work thru it, and we had some good times and not so good times. I did have great trouble coming to terms with it. Then 2 years to the date that i found out about the affair, i get a msg from this other woman.....i was devestated all over again.....it couldnt have been a coincedence that she contacted me on the exact date 2 years later....so i rang my husband at work and told him that she had contacted me and he was like 'im so sorry....shes a *****...blah blah blah.' he knew how upset i was, but instead of coming home straight after work - he went to football training!!!!! then when he came home he didnt even ask how i was going.......from that moment on things have slowly gone down hill. i begged him to see a counsellor or get help in some way....and at first he was like half heartedly yeah, but there was always excuses for why he couldnt. it got to the point that he would not come near me and we hadnt had sex in about a year. eventually in november last year, i had a major breakdown from the stress and ended up in a psych hospital for a week. then when i came out...things never really changed. one morning i asked him to give me one reason why he loves me and he stood there like i asked him for the theory of relativity????? for me that was it i told him i was going to my mums for a couple of days. So i left, and when i came back to the house, he left. I find out 3 weeks later that he has moved in with a girlfriend, which he tells me was not going on beforehand.....i find that to be absolute crap. well, he tells me i can stay in the house and he will look after the bills and not to get centrelink involved....luckily i listened to friends and family who were aghast at that and did go down and get myself on the single parent pension. he has now become nastier and nastier, threatening to stop paying the mortgage and has already not paid a couple of the bills he was supposed to pay. I have started the child support collecting against him, which he doesnt know about, until they contact him, and i have also been in touch with legal aid to get a lawyer. My emtions hve been totally up and down.....and although i am reaching the stage that i have no affection for him.....the one thing that is holding me back from moving forward is the thought of some other woman having care of my kids at times......i really cant seem to deal with that. hoping someone has some advice......if you got to this part, thank you for taking the time to read it. If you have any other advice on how to cope and the legal system please let me know...im floundering in a sea of what seems like endless paperwork and waiting on govt departments.