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Thread: emotional and mental abuse?

  1. #1

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    Default emotional and mental abuse?

    Just wondering if you ladies have any thoughts, ideas, strategies, stories regarding emotional and mental abuse in children?
    Such as proving it and dealing with it?

    I know it probably doesn't make sense but it looks like my son is being emotionally and mentally abused by his dad. We are on a waiting list for counselling for him and a child rep and it looks like it's going to have to go back to court..


  2. #2

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    I suppose it would depend on how its being done If his self esteem and confidence is being systematically broken down, I would be extra careful to explain things to him so he understands, and make sure to throw him a parade when he deserved it. I would try to make him confident enough in himself that he would realise it doesn't matter what others say, as long as he knows he's alright. But I imagine that would be very difficult with a 6 year old.

    Would you feel comfortable revealing some details on what gives you the impression this is happening?

  3. #3

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    is he at school yet?

  4. #4

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    Ok - bare with me...

    Background History:
    Xdh was all types of abusive while we were together. I have had counselling and have moved onto a better place. We have been seperated and divorced for more than 5 years now...

    DS has become very angry, withdrawn, negative and is lacking confidence. He says he is a very naughty boy and is stupid and constantly yells "Is that how you want it, huh?" which has NEVER been said in this house EVER. He also recently started wetting the bed which he has not done since he was 2.5yrs old. He is stressed out all the time and is constantly getting sick. He is always tired and doesn't want to eat much...
    He started school this year and also started having to spend 7 consecutive nights with his dad during school holidays. He is hysterical before he has to go for his 2nights access visit every fortnight, says he hates going and wants to stay home. This is getting worse as time goes on.
    DS used to be a very happy, relaxed, confident and easy going child until his access visits started going for longer.

  5. #5

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    Wow, that's very concerning. I would be raising my concerns with the court or whoever you went through when the access visits were extended. Can you insist on supervised visits? Have you asked your little boy what Daddy says to him, or even just ask him WHY he thinks he's a naughty boy?

  6. #6

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    He refuses to talk to anyone here about it. If we ask he just gets really angry and yells that he doesn't want to talk...
    We are on a waiting list for a counsellor at Windermere and waiting for a child representative to be appointed.
    XDH is trying to prove I am a bad mother and I think get custody of DS. He has called child protective services several times and they have to investigate each time but this last time, they said they have no qualms about my parenting but think XDH needs to be investigated. They want to see what comes out in counselling first though so we can build a bigger and stronger case..

  7. #7

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    Double Post..

  8. #8

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    Maybe call CPS back and ask them to help you with councelling. Is there a school wellbeing person you can talk to?

  9. #9

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    Oh hun . That must be incredibly worrying for you. I hope you get some help and answers for your DS soon.

  10. #10

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    I have already organised a family support worker who we have seen a few times now, the school is no help - they are on XDH's side as he gave them a very convincing sob story...
    We are in the middle of organising a care team meeting - us, the school, doctor, family support worker and CPS...

    It's killing me. I just want my happy boy back...

  11. #11

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    Have your CPS person or you can go to the school and explain that there is an investigation into XDH and his handling of DS. Get the school to note down DS's attitude re his dad and when he comes back from his dad's. If the school has to actively watch DS to monitor his moods then they might see some corelating evidence against XDH. Find out if the school has a counsellor and ask to speak to them and see if they can do anything. If CPS is ready to proceed against your XH but are waiting to hear what your son says in counselling then you would think they would fast track him. Then I would be warning the school of their duty of care toward your son.

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