A few questions about separation

[RainbowRiver]

After we separated I had 3 kids full time for around 3-4 weeks while he was house hunting (moved into his mates in the mean time). Once he had a house, he had them 6 days/overnight a fortnight. That lasted about 5 months. I was then having issues and he had them 11 nights a fortnight and I took them 1 at a time for 3 nights. Then our agreement changed to something more complicated we all got confused.

Thankfully we now do week on, week off.

I'm friends with my ex so we speak every week at change over, and communicate as needed through out the week.

Birthdays we all meet up as a family (+ our own hubby/wife) and celebrate. Christmas I have them on odd years and Easter on even years.

Anything at the school (merit awards, interviews etc), we both go together.

We get in much better now and support our children the best we can despite being separated.

[Abigail]

We're high conflict. Always have been even when we were together.

Our arrangements have changed, by mutual consent, over the years to accommodate for aging. What was suitable to our newborn is obviously not going to work for our now school kid.

Generally we don't talk. Communication is kept to a minimum verbally, and most is done via email or sms. Change over is kept to a neutral place (parks, police stations, petrol stations, maccas) places with other people. Now that we are at school age, we try for as many change overs as possible where drop off or pick up is direct to school. This has helped with our child adjusting to the change in parenting also I've found.

We have consent orders for significant and substantial time reflecting what ex asked for, reality is far less as ex ended up having other 'commitments'.

Special events were half and half until school. Now they are afternoons with ex if it falls on a school day unless we are able to negotiate otherwise. Everything has a fall back clause as we can't negotiate or communicate to save our lives. Ex is informed off all appointments, meetings, school events, he rarely attends so I then pass on important information that he has missed via email.

Its not ideal, but it works (as well as it can).