thread: Help me be a better person here

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008

    Help me be a better person here

    Hello, Im feeling like abit of a miser, and your prob all going to think Im nuts, but how do you feel about the chrissy presents your kids get from their other family?
    dd has just come home from exp's family christmas with a pile of pressents, all rather junky and I just get upset by the bad taste and the waste of money because for the most part they are things I would not dress her in or really cheap crap big things that we just dont have room to store..
    Its not all bad but mostly is.
    Anyway, what can you do. I know she loves it, so i will dutifully put them somewhere...
    I know I should feel grateful but aahhh. All I feel is guilty for hating it

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2006

    Maybe you could donate the unwanted stuff to the good sammys or salvos or a childrens hospital or toy library, etc...Not sure how old your DD is, but you could involve her in a way that teaches her generosity and all that good stuff

  3. #3
    Moving on...
    Add C~Q on Facebook

    Oct 2006
    By the sea

    I hear ya! My MIL prob spends about $150 in crazy clarks buying the kids something ridiculous like, 20 pressies each and it's all junk. Toys that break after 5 minutes, toys that don't work properly - it makes me so cranky because we end up with mounds of plastic, cardboard and all the layers of rap that the presents come stored in. It's such a waste I would much rather she bought them one thing they really wanted or really needed (plus, then I wouldn't have to frantically search through the top of the wardrobe to find the horible clothes she sent everytime she comes down!).

    Yes, the kids love opening it all and they'll play for 5 mins then on to the next thing and it all gets forgotten about.

    I agree with Laranna - if your child is old enough get them to sort through and pick some things for the kids that don't get many presents at Xmas - thats what we'll be doing this week to clear some of the junk and make way for the new lot!

  4. #4
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic

    Yes, dutifully take the junk.....unfortunately that is the true path to xmas enlightenment!

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2006
    Sydney NSW

    My friend used to say that all the stuff from Daddy and his family stayed at Daddy's house for when the kids were there.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2008

    I hear you on this one, my DD has always got crap from her dad and his family, and honestly she is now 12 and actually comments i wonder what interesting pressents i will get this year in other words what crap she will get. 99% of the time it remains in the box it came in and we donate it.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2005
    by the lake .....

    we've kind of managed to avoid a lot of junk this year by asking for books or puzzles rather than toys. Having said that DS is only 2 and I still have toys at the top of the cupboard (still in boxes) that he got for his 1st birthday that I refuse to give him - my solution is to re-gift them and we have put some under the wishing tree at Kmart too.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA

    Can her Dad keep that stuff at his house??

  9. #9
    paradise lost Guest

    Believe me the opposite, when they get stuff the kids REALLY need but then keep it at their house so they can only have access to it once a week/whenever access is, is a lot more annoying...


  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008

    OH what a relief that you know what Im on about. Thought you would all think I was an ungratefull trollop ) hehe, there are some great suggestions there. Dd's father rents with another guy so there is not much space there (probably more than here) but he takes the things like dvd's. Sometimes I can exchange the clothes, but the rest is unwrapped (at his families house) so I cant really pass it on (ie wishing tree, have passed some happily onto charity b4). Oh I just wish they would save their money, or buy something quality. Anyway, dont know why it upset me so much when it all turned up last night (think I was a bit premenstral) but I had a beer and talked to you guys so I felt better

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2004
    Outer East, Melbourne

    My kids don't bring anything back with them and they rarely take anything from here because I know I won't see it again. Sometimes a favourite teddy or Alex takes a book.

    My ex MIL and FIL are quite wealthy so they spend it a bit on their grandchildren.

    My crap concerns are with the clothes my EX dresses my daughter in - she's just turned seven and she comes home in PJ tops and ladies clothing. "that's not a dress love, it's a ladies blouse ...."

    Bag it all up, hide it for a while, if they don't ask after it - chuck it.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Dec 2008

    Yep, my ex-in-laws are junk-givers too. XH and I used to laugh at some of the stupid things the girls were given, then just chuck them. That's just his parents, though, and he has 2 brothers, 3 aunts and plenty of cousins, all of whom give good gifts. Our agreement is that whatever they get from his family, stays with him which is a little sucky because I have no family hahahaha. But that also means I have no family to by FOR, so I can just make sure the girls have really nice stuff for here too! Now I just have to make sure the DSs I got them come back to me.... I couldn't make them part with them on Christmas afternoon!!!

    Oh and my pet hate for this Christmas (being my first as a single) is that I did the midnight shopping thing a few months back (before we split) then paid to get it all out of layby after we split - and XH told the girls that Santa was only going to MY house (where they spent Christmas eve) so he got out of buying them stuff!!!!!

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2006
    Igglepiggle Land

    Being on the opposite side of the fence (being the step mum to DP's DD's) - I like to think we buy thoughtful gifts, and always things that are good quality - just as we buy for our DD (and any other member of our family).

    However the SDD's leave their toys / clothes at our place as we don't want them damaged when they return after being with their mum lol...The clothes come back unwashed and stained (if at all) - and things just seem to go missing - never to be seen again...

    But if there was a particular item the kids become attached to and really wanted to take with them - we'd let them. It's for the kids sake after all. It's not about getting back at the ex for all the hassles they've had in their past...

    Barbie Up - in relation to what DD is being dressed in - that must be a guy thing in general (I like to think)...DP puts our DD in all sorts of crazy combinations that look, um, interesting .
    In our case it'd be mid winter and the kids would come over dressed in summer clothing - freezing their butts off in sandals, shorts and singlets - seriously ...***Why can't DP's ex be more switched on and attentive like you ladies, seriously. Instead - she's a.....oh, sorry, I digress - wrong forum lol!!!

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008

    hehehe you girls make me giggle