i'm sorry that it is like that. he just needs you to to be strong and not make allowances. i just hope that if, like you say, he is willing to cut out a woman from his life for you and your son then it may be that he will come through and see his son as the reason for his being. i do worry however that maybe he was able to do that simply because it wasn't important to him.. i know i sound like a cynic, bitter and all the rest of it.. but i stopped talking to my ex for over a month and cut his family out of mine and baby's life and that seems to have helped him see that maybe he has been taking a wrong path. i told him when i told him i was pregnant that he was either in or out and if he chose to walk away he couldn't look back. i don't think he realised just how serious i was. it has been that best thing i have done. the sadness and the stress has been a lot to take, but i can honestly say that it has given me time to see things as they are, and even to take stock of our relationship, especially as it was in the end. he abandoned us. maybe not consciously but it is the same in essence.

do not back down. not to his family, not to him. you know what is right. don't ever forget that you are the wise one here. no matter whether he is still using pot, it was when he started that is the key. he has not had the chance to mature beyond that point. that is how it is with drugs. my ex is no more than 17 in reality and my mentor said to me that no man ever really gets beyond their teens anyway lol. she said "your lucky if you find a 16 year old!"

you sound like you are doing a wonderful job. have you much support around you? counselling, friends, family? it is really the best thing.

it might seem hard right now, but there really is an end! it will get better. i promise.
x