Registered User
if you try and put boundaries that exist at your house (within reason) they might respond as it is a different environment to what they are use to
We also live in a crappy rural area and no public transport (I also don't drive) so a saturday sound good cause you gotta know she was never going to meet Mr Perfect on the first night
.... i thought maybe what i could do is babysit her twins at her house, then that way they can destroy things in their own home ... and i could drive her where she wants to go and drop her off and pick her up if need be
if you try and put boundaries that exist at your house (within reason) they might respond as it is a different environment to what they are use to
We also live in a crappy rural area and no public transport (I also don't drive) so a saturday sound good cause you gotta know she was never going to meet Mr Perfect on the first night... (and lucky me they are still in nappies, ah hope they hold out with a poo until she gets home as i have never changed a poo nappy on a 3.5year old let alone two of them
)
Registered User
watching them in thier own home sounds like a plan (I am assuming DP will stay at home while you drop her off - or vice versa?!) maybe have a special book/game/toy/food bribe x2 hidden in your bag if they need thier nappies changed to help them stay distracted for long enough if the need arises.
would love to know how you go!
... thanks Kel, yeh thought DP & i could look after them together in your home as they seriously are out of control these kids, and yep will leave DP with the kids when i give her a lift or visa versa (don't wanna ask too much of the poor guy, still can't believe he suggested we MUST offer and soon !!) ... Don't know when it will be as our Saturdays are the worst days for us as that's when we as a family have heaps on but we will manage to squeeze it in no matter what for her sake ... Yeh will let you know when and how it goes, or better still if she takes us up on the offer
Registered User
well if you are going to drop her off and pick her up would it matter if there is no public transport - maybe Sunday is just as workable?
BellyBelly Member
Is this the mummy I have met?
Hope it all works out for her
... yeh Kass, believe me if i was in her situation she would bend over backwards to help me or anyone else too, she is a very giving person and i can't believe how much she does all on her own without any help and she never ever complians. Also it doesn't help that she just will never ask anyone for help not matter how desperate she might be for help, i can see she's the sort of person that feels she inconviences people so therefore doesn't ask for help of any sort. I do all i can to reassure her what an amazing job she does as a Mum as i sadly found out she never has anyone ever tell her so she told me she doubts herself. OMG she has done all she can to better her girl's behaviour and luckily she has two friends that work in childcare to help her with ideas too.Is this the mummy I have met?
Hope it all works out for her
Kass if you ever see her about town please if you don't mind give her smile even a quick chat as she truly is a very geninue kind person and i do get the feeling she gets very lonely too. And she's not all about herself as she makes the effort to ask about others too when they chat with her. And please if you could not mention this that you know anything about her story or my thread here (but then i know you probably wouldn't anyway)
Registered User
Smiles i just want to say coming from a single mumma here what you are offering is truely amazing. You are a wonderful lady and friend.
Coming from a single mums point of view, if someone offered me what you are offering this friend of yours i honestly would never be able to repay them.
The stresses from day to day living without a partner is hell itself- not to mention tiring.
Just for someone to offer to look after my kiddies whilst i went shopping would be a dream. I really think your friend will appreciate this.
I also think you should start just by looking after them for the day- evenings would be a little overwhelming i would assume- for both her, you and your DH.
Registered User
What a wonderful thing your doing, to get her confidence back maybe even suggest she go have a relaxing afternoon at the hairdressers or a massage followed by coffee with a friend?
... sadly Ballarat is like a ghost town on a Sunday so there would be more for her to do on a Saturday and i thought she might feel more freely and not so embarrassed if say she wanted to not be picked up if she chose to use public transport instead ... in other words gives her the option either way to do as she pleases, if that makes sense as she is very independent (but i'll certainly offer whatever transport she would like to get to and fro)
Registered User
you are such a caring and thoughtful friend and I really hope she takes you up on your offer.
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