My XH was a bit like this too when my eldest two were younger. I would have sent the life jackets too for the kid's safety. If it ever came to things around safety I would make sure the kids were ok. If it came to anything else, I would try to let it go and make him attempt to do it himself. But I could never leave a safety or well being issue up to him if I felt he just wouldn't bother. I couldn't have lived with myself if something were to happen. If keeping my kids safe is enabling then bad luck.

I would always ask him to get things to keep at his house too, but it often fell on deaf ears