I'm sorry to read about what has happened. I don't have any advice on how to tell your girls sorry, I left my ex when DS was only a few months old. But I can understand your fears. At least I guess from the sounds of it things haven't gotten so bad before you both split were the kids would have known what was going on while you were both trying to stay together and pretend to be happy.. If you can both hopefully stay positive for the girls despite what has happened then things might not be so bad.

I worry about being alone forever. I have so far dated someone after breaking up with DS's father, but that only lasted a few months since I didn't feel like I had enough time for him, DS, myself and studying.. And apparently I wasn't "allowed" to move on, where as DS's father is allowed to, at least in his mind. So now I just don't have time to socialise and I am beginning to really worry I will be alone forever, since I am doing all the hard work of raising DS. I don't know what you are going to do, apart from stay strong, which I'm sure you will. It does get hard, but you sound like a wonderful mother and you will get through this. You're nt a failure, these things happen, and unfortunately if someone won't admit anything is "wrong" enough for them to see a counsellor, then they won't.. And then it usually gets to a point where it's too late to fix whatever was wrong to begin with. He is the one who doesn't want to put in the hard work to make things work, he is the one giving up when it sounds like you have tried so hard to keep things together. I'm not meaning to bad mouth him so please don't think that. It just sounds like he's given up and he expects that to be ok.

No matter how long we have to know something is coming, it usually does still come as a shock when it actually does. Especially something like this.

And why is it that men always seem to find it so easy to just fall asleep, no matter what has happened? It's like their heads hit the pillow and all thought is gone from their minds so they just pass out.. :P Whereas we're left tossing and turning and stressing about things.

I'm sorry I probably haven't said much to help, but I hope things get better soon.