When I go for walks, I always see guys running and it's like, w00h00! I'm forever thinking who i'd . . . like the company of . . . and who I wouldn't; yes no yes no yes no. Actually, that's a lie, it's more like, Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes no yes yes yes yes yes. Whenever I smell mens cologne, my heart sinks.
*sigh*
I know this is better than being with exP. For the first time in years, I don't feel strangled by his family's ridiculous antics,or by his complete lack of ability to deal with any responsibility whatsoever, or by his hands around my neck when he's having a violent episode. I can finally be ME for the first time in as long as I can remember, but I got so used to the male company, to the (although infrequent, by the time I left) physical interaction and intimacy, to, well, the sex! Oh GOD the sex! That is one thing I cannot fault him on. And now its gone!
I'd be open to dating except I honestly don't believe anyone else would want to be with me because I put on so much weight, and even if they did, i'd be too self-conscious. I actually made a promise to myself about this - once I can fit into pre-preg pants, its on Shame i'm not losing much weight anymore, bugger.
I'll get over it, I just needed a rant. If I didn't have DD i'd be lost, luckily I can always get cuddles from her And it's not tinged with feelings of "I know I don't love you anymore but I don't know how to get out of this situation."
/end rant
Last edited by Neenee Jellybeanie; August 20th, 2008 at 02:55 AM.
You're not the only one that feels that way, while I'm not entirely interested in male company or anything that goes along with that.. I have found myself "noticing" guys a lot more.. I think I even have a crush on my dentist LOL. And going to uni every day is bad since there always seems to be some random guy who is doing sports medicine, construction or is even in my maths class who is worth noticing and having a perv on heh. I get lonely, but with everything going on I know that it would do more harm than good to even let anyone in for a brief time.. And I don't really feel like anyone would be interested in me since I can't afford nice clothes, I dress for comfort moreso than for how I look lately, and I feel like I have gained some weight too.
So I just admire from afar, and feel like a complete loser LOL
A girls night out is a good suggestion. Would that be at all possible for you?
Thanks for your replies, ladies! Glad to know I'm not the only one lol.
A night out might be difficult but I randomly spoke to a friend of mine I haven't seen since pre-preg and we're planning to get together on a weekend. She wants to go out pubbing etc. I don't think my folks would mind looking after bub But I don't know if DD could handle it. SO I'm hoping we can organize a day activity. As much fun as going out pubbing/clubbing would be, it might be a bit unrealistic unfortunately. But hey, anything is better than nothing! I lost all of my friends after I fell pregnant, simply because I couldn't go out drinking and things anymore.
Oh, and in terms of buying clothes . . . hehe. I just bought 2 new pairs of hotmilk bras + briefs (a few probs with the website but overall I'm happy with them) and have a dress and top on layby. Arrrgh! I have to stop spending money! But I can't help it. I've lost weight, am starting to feel better about myself, and my clothes are getting too big. I need to buy things! LOL!
hi ladies
i can totally understand where everyone is coming from, i was single from 5 months pregnant so i've had absolutely no male interaction (except for my dad and uncle...) for six months now and its kinda driving me nuts... i moved up to brisbane from sydney so i lost all my friends and now i'm up here, fat, with no friends, and nowhere to go...
i feel so fat and floppy, all around my stomach, back & a$$ is still wobbly from gaining all that weight during the pregnancy (23kg to be exact, a few too many donuts i think) and 21 year olds arent supposed to have saggy boobs!!! i had such perfect boobs and now theyre ruined! damn gravity... and stretch marks, OH DON'T GET ME STARTED ON STRETCH MARKS.. i have them on my boobs, stomach, sides, thighs, inner thighs and on my butt too!! i'm a collage of stretch marks... no beach for me this summer...
i think its going to be a loooong time for me to feel like a 21 year old again... i'm still in my clubbing years and i'm stuck at home feeding bubs and watching friends re-runs! not that staying at home with bubs isn't great, don't get me wrong it's awesome! i love being a mummy! but once in a while it would be nice to get out of the house with some friends and have a pash or two with a complete stranger... i miss the freedom sometimes... i cant just jump in my car and go get my hair done or go out for a drink with mates on 5 minutes notice...
yes now i'm sure everyone is sick of reading my sob story
i'll go see if i can go buy some cute baby clothes off ebay to console myself
haha yeah i wish i could cookiemonster!
but on a serious note, if i ever did move down to victoria it would be to bendigo...
loose ends need to be tied in that town! a 'what if' story...
i need to find some saggy friends up here i think!
or maybe i could just get off my fat a$$ and exercise so i'm not fat, and get a boob lift for the sagginess... *sigh* it all sounds too hard!
Male company (or lack thereof)
Shame i'm not losing much weight anymore, bugger.
And it's not tinged with feelings of "I know I don't love you anymore but I don't know how to get out of this situation."
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