Just introducing myself...

[jakodai]

Hi everyone!

I'm relatively new (maybe not so much new as I don't drop around very often...) to these forums, and stumbled across the singapore parenting forum while I was searching for parents who are doing the whole pregnancy / parenting thing on their own (I was seriously expecting to find a couple of posts, I'm quite impressed with what I found...).

Me & my now Ex Partner have been going through some rocky times over the past 6 - 12 months. He's had a bad year job & driving license wise (lost his license for drink driving), and I'm not going to deny it, I have been a b**** as well and while I've done my best to stand beside him things haven't been perfect. When I found out I was pregnant, we were both shocked, but then quickly after, excited and we decided to sell our house to pay off all of our bills & debts to start fresh, and moved in with our parents. During thehouse settlement while we were doing all the cleaning & preparation, we fought ALOT. Mainly because he just wasn't helping, and the help he was giving was pityfull at best. He vacuumed the walk-in wardrobe twice and STILL missed half of it.

Anyway, apparently during this time (from what I can gather) he'd decided that we'd broken up, although he failed to mention that point to me, and we were apart for 1 - 2 weeks before getting back together (which I thought was when we decided to make a go of our relationship). We got 'back together' (I still don't feel like we were apart) last Friday. Basically since then he's been very vague and distant, having his own time for 2 days at a time where it's almost impossible to get hold of him and he doesn't really tell me what's going on. He was also very protective of his mobile phone, which is very odd for him and he stayed at a mates place on Monday night, who he hasn't seen in the 5 years we were together and has only spoken to once. A little too convenient for me to really take in. Last night, I checked his phone messages (naughty, I know, but there's more to this - he has lied to me a lot previously) and I found a lot of messages that he'd sent to another girl saying how much he missed her and needed her, asking if she'd booked a hotel room, how he couldn't forget how much fun they had, and so on. I confronted him about the messages and while he tried to deny them for a split second, he admitted that he'd been sleeping with her while we were 'seperated'. This was the first of the separation that I'd heard of. He told me that he'd ended things with her when we got back together, but there was a message that he'd sent her on Tuesday night saying that he missed her.

I think it's safe to say that I have been cheated on, and I'm now willing to walk away from the relationship. Too much has happened that I've allowed and I'm just not willing to sacrifice my self-respect any longer for him.

I think I knew that the relationship wasn't going to work, but I was trying so hard for the sake of having a happy family and the thing was, I was really falling back in love with him again - just like in the old days when we first got together.

I'm going to see him tonight to find out where we go from here. The relationship may be over, but we still have a baby together and he has told me that he wants to be a part of the baby's life so we need to work things out. I don't want things to be nasty, but having said that it's going to be difficult seeing him with another woman, and knowing that that woman is with my son but I'm going to have to deal with that.

So, anyway, after my essay about myself & my 'situation', my purpose is to just introduce myself & say hi, and break the news that I'm probably going to be a frequent visitor now that I've found you guys, as I don't know any single parents at all.

A little about me... I'm 25, I'm 22 weeks pregnant, I'm having a boy and I live in Melbourne.

[Mildez]

Welcome Jakodai. I'm sure you will meet heaps of people through here.
I was in a similar situation as you are. My ex cheated (although still denies the truth saying it was when we were having a break which is not true). Anyway that was 7-8years ago now and since I have married someone else and have another child. Sounds like your better off without him as a partner and your doing the right thing by your son being pleasant. Its alot more then some of us can do (me being one of them). You sound very mature and your going to make a great mum.

[jakodai]

Welcome Jakodai. I'm sure you will meet heaps of people through here.
I was in a similar situation as you are. My ex cheated (although still denies the truth saying it was when we were having a break which is not true). Anyway that was 7-8years ago now and since I have married someone else and have another child. Sounds like your better off without him as a partner and your doing the right thing by your son being pleasant. Its alot more then some of us can do (me being one of them). You sound very mature and your going to make a great mum.

Thanks Emmy83, that really means a lot. I guess I was being very naieve, but I really didn't think there'd be many people out there who'd be in my situation. Don't ask me why, but you know what it's like when you make your own conclusions. And thanks for telling me that you since met someone else, because one thing that keeps going through my mind is that although I don't want another relationship now I'm scared that when I am ready that I won't be able to find anyone. Again, I don't know why I come to this conclusion, but that's a bridge I can cross when the time comes - I do feel much better about it now though.