i hear you, it IS lonely, it IS hard. Totally understandable that you have daydreams of escaping reality. You actually are very young, so will still be young and sexy and beautiful, once your DDs are older.

Moving house and resettling anywhere takes time. Whole new dimension when you add all the breakup, renegotiating a new r'ship with your x, as ongoing co-parents, - plus caring for your newborn.

Are you enjoying the L n E meals? i hope you're eating, to take care of yourself, even if your mood has affected your appetite. So hard to eat when you're stressed/feeling down (entirely understandable).

big hugs to you.