Lonely

[Charlotte91]

[ladybird11]

I couldn't read and not respond pz.

I don't have any wise words really, other than to say that I bet isla is replying to your comments you've been making at the tv - she's just doing it in other ways .

Big hugs!

[Tully J]

[YoYo]

Hug PZ..... You sound so sad.

Listen to rouge..... She's so right x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - I wonder what the kids are up to....Better go!

[Purple Penguin]

[beckoes]

im so so sorry. send love hugs and strength.

[C~Q]

Oh man, exactly what Rouge said! Of you can work out the logistics of leaving DD with your mum then go out! I think alcomahol prob isn't your friend in circumstances like this (depending on what type of drinker you are...you'd hate to get p!ssy and emotional and spend the night in the toilet crying...not that i've ever done that )

But I really think tht even just the process of getting ready with a friend, having a giggle and doing your hair, would be great. Go out, have a boogie, make eye contact with a ridiculously gorgeous (probably gay man) and just let it all go for a night.

I understand the lonliness, it's horrible. It's really horrible but all you can do is take it one day at a time. And like a PP said DON'T BE A MARTYR. It's your life goddammit, if you want to go out and let your hair down, or even stay in and have a girly night, then do it...I just wish I was closer xxx

[Beach Mama]

You and everyone else here already know that Rouge is a wise woman... listen and start planning and although it is corny as, time really does heal and make things easier. You will never forget but it does get easier to breathe. xoxoxo

[KimB]

I'm another one who agrees with Rouge (strange that heh lol) It is so hard being a single mum (I did it with a newborn, then I did it with 3). If you have friends close by then get them to come over for a coffee or organise to have dinner (either out or at your place) so that you have some adult conversation. Even after 6 kids I miss the adult conversation. I walked up the shops the other day and spent 15 minutes talking to a guy who runs the real estate lol. Made me feel better

hun we are here for you xxx

[Phteven]

Leave your gorgeous baby to have some quality time with her Gran or Dad and go out and have some fun.
That's an order!!

[Babyluv]

PZ, Just wanted to say I think you're an amazing woman! You're so darn strong, you might not feel it right now but you are!!!! Look what you've been through in the past 2 years and you've managed to come out the other side with a beautiful baby girl. Go out, have some fun, find out who you are on your own. Being a mum doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun and have your own time. Go and have a few drinks or get pampered, treat yourself to a night out!!! You deserve it. Keep being strong, it will get easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you that in the near future life will be exactly how you dreamed it would be. Hang in there. Big hugs.

[Gigi]

i think, an equally valid option is not to go out, without your nb, just yet.

it's individual for each person, but the first time, you leave your baby with someone else, it's a big deal for many mums.

If you are lucky enough to have a Gran, who knows your baby well, and abides by your style of parenting AND you feel ok about leaving your bub with that person - all power to that.

But after reading all those posts, about "leave the bub and go out", i just want to add, that is not the ONLY option.

You really have to do something YOU feel ok about.

Going out somewhere, with support e.g your mum coming too. E.g in the day time, so no cold night air for your newbie.

Going out somewhere you and your DD

Going out somewhere, by yourself, leaving nb with trusted person, maybe building yourself and your baby up to it. E.g one hour the first time, two hours the second time, three hours the third time, or for the length of time she goes between feeds, whatever suits your DD.
It
Tailor this to YOU and YOUR BUB. not what has worked for other people, but what suits your new family.

If you are ready to have time away from your bub, that is fine.
If you are not ready to have time away from your bub, that is fine.

There are things you can do, being with other adults, that involve babies too.
Sometimes when i felt very shy and overwhelmed (when bilby was tiny), having bilby with me, was a conversation starter, it was actually a help to have her with me, because then it took the pressure off me, to have to talk about me. So much easier to talk about your child (well that's how it felt for me anyhoo).

- playgroups (as long as they're not huge)
- aba groups
- community centre classes for new mums
( i found a craft class - for mum - at one near me, when the babies are tiny, you bring your child into the class. Once they are ok to be in a creche, you leave your child in a creche that is 20m away, they come and get you if your child is unhappy) and it's a free creche. I never thought i would find anything like that, but i did. We all cluck over the nbs. Their mums don't get much craft done, but they sit and feed and chat, watch the others doing craft. Then they craft when baby is asleep, and if that doesn't happen, they have still gotten OUT, and chatted with adults. And get to go to the loo by themselves, drink a HOT coffee, as there are many willing people around to cuddle the bub.

i think it is harder once your bub is toddling, strangely enough, when baby is younger, because they are, wherever you put them, so many things are easier (shopping too).

hope i managed to make some sense in amongst all this, thinking of you PZ.

[TeniBear]

Gigi has a point - if you don't feel comfortable leaving Isla while you go have fun/socialisation somewhere, go somewhere with her and have fun If you want, I'm probably going to an ABA meeting tomorrow, and you know you're very welcome to tag along


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[HotI]

i think, an equally valid option is not to go out, without your nb, just yet.

it's individual for each person, but the first time, you leave your baby with someone else, it's a big deal for many mums.

Have to share the love, but great post by Gigi. I could not leave my newborn for a long time, but found going places with her, where we were both accepted and comfortable, great for my mental health. ABA meeting, coffee with friends, local library, invite a friend to your place, invite a friend to wander through the market or local park...

[PumpkinZulu]

Thankyou all so much God I was in a dark place last night. I can't help wondering whether things are a little worse than me just feeling blue, whether it might be PND I have my app at the GP tomorrow for my 6 week check up, so I might ask then.

My post didn't make the most sense last night...I don't have an issue with going out, new mummy or not, but I think, to have the mentality that I have atm, to want to go out and get ****faced and engage in risky behaviour, (I come from a family of addictive personalities abs know why my own triggers are), THAT is what I could not do with a NB.

Rouge, love you.

I am off to have a nice dinner with my mum. Not dancing, but it'll do nicely I even put on a new pair of skinny black jeans I've had tucked away, a nice pair of shoes and washed my hair. I feel nice, for now.

[Cassius2]

I am off to have a nice dinner with my mum. Not dancing, but it'll do nicely I even put on a new pair of skinny black jeans I've had tucked away, a nice pair of shoes and washed my hair. I feel nice, for now.

That's the way babe it's amazing what a spesh set of clothes and a dinner out can do for morale xx

[Rouge]

I'm glad you're looking after yourself hun. And if you ever want to just go out, I can be your behaviour bouncer. I'm good at that And believe it or not I DO know how to have fun WITHOUT vodka

Love you too xxx

[Catastrophic]

Hugs hun... your first post made sense. I get it xoxox Hope you have an awesome dinner xo