thread: Men can't stand to live with smarter women?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    May 2011
    Adelaide
    747

    Some men are like that, but some women are like that too. DF certainly doesn't like dumb, quiet women. He's forever telling me how smart I am and not only that I have much more common sense than him, but that it's one of the things he loves about me. He also loves that I'm as stubborn and strong willed as he is. I think he'd get bored with a quiet woman who didn't fire up

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    I blame the patriarchy and male privilege. Sometimes men just cannot handle it when a woman appears to be *better* than him at anything. Society conditions men to be the best, the brightest, the breadwinner, the boss and there are men who relish that ideal and freak out at the thought of a woman being better than they are.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Albs, WA
    971

    there definitely are men who feel threatened by powerful women. Thankfully in my relationship my DH was cured of this quite early, as I was the main breadwinner for many years

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    I blame the patriarchy and male privilege. Sometimes men just cannot handle it when a woman appears to be *better* than him at anything. Society conditions men to be the best, the brightest, the breadwinner, the boss and there are men who relish that ideal and freak out at the thought of a woman being better than they are.
    I dunno Trill - DH was brought up very patriarchical and is fine with me being better than him at various skills, including, occasionally, areas where he excels (just as I am fine with him cooking a wonderful meal, for example). Whereas my mother is NOT happy with my father being better than her at things. I think a lot of it is personality, although I will admit that men are more enabled by society to let this side of their personality show than women are.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
    Add sushee on Facebook

    Sep 2004
    Melb - where my coolness isn't seen as wierdness
    4,361

    Men will either dislike it or seek it out. So what they end up with is what they were attracted to in the first place.

    But I think it's a sweeping generalisation to say that women become single mothers because they're too smart for their men. If they were too smart, perhaps not marrying that man might have been a clever thing to do in the first place. This is from someone who was married twice btw.

    I also think women GET gutsy when they're doing it alone. I know I've learnt far more independence from being a single mum than I did from being married. So I think single mums will seem more capable a lot of the time, but this may not necessarily be a factor in the decline of the relationship.

    I also personally think relationship breakdowns are a lot more complex than that, and contain many many layers of anger and resentment about a lot of things, and while this may be one thing, I certainly doubt it's the main thing.

  6. #6

    Mar 2004
    Sparta
    12,662

    Not all relationships end because men are awful. Sometimes relationships end because women are awful. Sometimes relationships end because two decent people can't make it work.
    It's normal for people to feel angry and bitter after a relationship is over and I guess it's normal to vent by saying horrible things about an ex on the interwebs but there are two sides to every story and if you are overwhelmingly reading the women's perspectives then maybe it can seem like lots of men are being awful. Maybe if you waited a few years and asked those same women about their exes they mightn't say such awful stuff.

    Most men are good people with their fair share of faults just like most women are good people with faults.
    Personally I would take anybody's claim to be smarter than their partner with a grain of salt - until I meet the partner I assume equal intelligence.

  7. #7

    Jun 2010
    District Twelve
    8,425

    Onyx for PM.

  8. #8

    Mar 2004
    Sparta
    12,662

    Yeah, I'm not a morning person