Hey Lovin' Oven, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. It is very daunting when you first make the decision to leave, there are so many things to consider. Lulu is right, the Centrelink website will get you started. I can't see why you wouldn't be eligible for a single parents payment? Contact them very early on in the piece - some of the payments can be backdated to the date of separation, but the earlier you get the ball rolling, the earlier you will have access to the money. When I first started REALLY thinking of leaving XH (really I had been thinking about it for a long time) I called the Family Relationship Centre and they were a great help with giving support and steering me in the right direction.
Is there any way you could kick HIM out of the house? My XH is such a jerk and a manipulator that leaving was the best option, although I had places to stay. I don't know anything about refuges but you will get help getting into a rental place through centrelink.
My XH also has alcohol issues, and after the way he has been carrying on since we split, I am sure he has mental health issues as well (although if you ask him it's ME that has the issues). Being the supportive wife sounds all rose-gardens-and-picket-fences but it's not just you that you have to think about anymore, it's your daughter too. It sounds like you already understand that.
So best of luck in actually making this happen. And like I was told in the early days... it DOES get better.
Also - you have posted on the end of my thread, maybe you will get some more responses if you post as a new thread?
Thx Melby. My first priority is my darling girl. She shouldn't be punished for being here and I don't intend letting her grow up in this uncertain, tense, cold environment. My husband has mental health issues too and it just magnifies the importance of my decision. I know he loves her but sometimes it just isn't enough to keep a family together.
Hi - from my experience, I don't ask for changes in the arrangement I have with my EX.
A new bed might sound exciting to you all at the moment, but if it's going to cause crap, then it's not worth it. It won't be the first or last time you won't be able to share something special with them straight away on your terms.
Don't make too big a deal about them not being there, as much as you want to, they pick up things so quickly. They might feel bad that they were not with you and the beds because they were with their dad and that has nothing to do with them. It's hard sometimes, but someone has to be the adult.
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Heart breaking.
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