single, pregnant & what do I do

[kip74]

Hi..
I'm kip, 35 years old, and just found out that I am about 5 weeks pregnant with my first.
I really don't know what to do..
My ex-partner would prefer that I didn't go through with it.
I have no finacial stability, although I have a good job, that pays pretty well.
I live in Sydney, rent is expensive.
I don't know what to do, and worry that this is could be my only chance to have a baby.
I don't know anything about benefits, or if I can afford to have the child.

I am just so lost at the moment.
If anyone can help, or offer advice, it would be appreiciatted.

Kip.

[~clover~]

Do you have a support network? Family, friends who will stick by you??
There are plenty of people who raise children without financial stability. If you want this baby it is totally your choice
You can do this if you want to. If you go to the centrelink web site you should be able to work out what you could be entitled to. You still have time to work & get organised.
I hope it all works out for you

[Laranna]

Welcome to BB, Kip! Congrats on the pregnancy It sounds like you have some tough decisions ahead of you. I am sure that everything will work out for the best. Maybe this was meant to be? There is a lot of support for single mums financially from the government and emotionally here at BB. If a baby is something you've always wanted, then maybe now is the time? Sure, it won't be easy doing it on your own, but do you have family around you who could help out? If everyone waited until they could "afford" to have a baby, there would be no beautiful children in the world!

[Cassius2]

Hi Kip and welcome to BB!

I can only imagine that this is a really emotional and fraught time for you

I have no real experience or advice to offer, only that I am the result of a mumma that did it on her own without much financial support (actually, none!) and although there were some challenging times, i know for a fact that she would do it all again in an instant (she was in a similar situation i think...my Dad wanted her to terminate and walked out; she had a good job but no savings etc). My mum still managed to raise me well, love me, put herself through uni, work, travel etc.

I guess my only offer of advice would be the same that i have for any first time parent-to-be: surround yourself with some support and supportive friends. your 'village' becomes really important when a baby arrives IMO. you will meet others through your MACH nurse when bubs is born, you will meet others through ante-natal classes etc...

i hope you find your answer soon, this must be a tough time xx

[organicem]

Hi Kip.
Welcome and congrats on the pregnancy.
I am in Sydney too and newly single so would be glad to offer emotional support and a listening ear if you need it.
As said before the gov helps out with the costs of being a single mum so financially you would most likely be ok (not rich but able to be comfortable).
I can't advise as to whether you should keep baby but know that there is all types of support for single mums.
I know how overwhelming it can be

[phynna]

Hi chicky! I have a really good book for you. It's specifically for 1st time pregnant mothers who are to be single parents, for whatever reason it may be. PM me your address and I will post it to you.

Don't stress out more than you can help to! Many women have done it before you, and many women will do it after you! My friend Sarah did it, and it's been a transformation of her life, from the gutter with a horrible abusive druggy boyfriend, to eliminating him completely from her life, to being a uni student with a career at a major bank, with a beautiful 6 year old, and a wonderful life!

[Bengal]

Hi Kip, and welcome to BB

I know financial security is important, however I think your most important issue right now is, can I do this on my own ? And I bet you can, you can plan to save some money (hard I know), and prepare yourself.

A little note to mention from a long term TTC veterin, and I don't want to alarm you, I want you to be informed, our ability to concieve dramatically decreases in our late thirties

Best of luck Kip,

[~clover~]

Hi chicky! I have a really good book for you. It's specifically for 1st time pregnant mothers who are to be single parents, for whatever reason it may be. PM me your address and I will post it to you.

Unfortunately I don't think either of you can PM til you have a post count of 50.

[phynna]

hmmm good observation!, okay then, I know I can pm now coz i did it the other day, but I remember I couldn't for a while, so you can email me instead..... olivehillsfarm@bigpond.com or phynna_fiona@hotmail.com