Single dad unsure about more kids ?

[Salsa]

HI.
Dont worry about the age gap, you cant do much about it now. As you said, its already there because its unlikely you`ll be in the situation to change this within the next year or 2.
I did not want a big age gap, but there is 6 years between my kids and thats with them having the same father - my husband. So even if you were in a stable relationship with someone and you were both ready to have kids, you cant tell what would happen. It may not be that you could have them all closer in age anyway for one reason or another.

At 22, you know you have alot of time ahead of you. I`m sure when the time is right you will meet someone lovely and hopefully you`ll be able to make babies together
But that could be a year from now or 15 years from now.

YOu sound like a really loving dad.

[LaDeeDa]

I just wanted to pop in and congratulate you on being such a strong and supportive Dad to your DS....
You've done such an amazing job and at such a young age!

I wouldn' worry about the age gap too much - there is 8 years between my bro and me and we're really close

[kawazuki]

welcome.

well my now hubby had a child and gained sole custordy of him 5 years ago now, he is now 9.
he doesnt see or speak to his mother much maybe twice a eyar if he is lucky.

he was 7 when our first little girl came along, and he will be 9 when the next bundle arrives.

he loves being a big brother, even though he has 5 other brothers and another sister from his mum but once again never sees them.

the age was big and not planned by hubby, he was very similar to you decided one was enough as the age gap would be to much and so forth, then he met me and things changed lol..

so there is hope and it can turn out great.

dont give up just yet your still young and you have a great outlook on life and positive influence on your son.

[Tecopa]

My first thought was that I hoped you found someone around your age in a similar situation who already has a child LOL. Create a blended family while the kids are still little and you get a sibling for your child as well as a loving partner. Well..that would be the dream situation maybe!

I'm 31 about to be a single mum and have never wanted an only child. So I reckon when I start dating again I'll be open to dating other people with kids! I don't fancy being pregnant a second time at this stage.

Best of luck!

[singledad]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the nice comments and good advice. Has made me a little more open minded on the topic


Been looking at getting back into the dating game, but I'm so out dated in that department, so kind of gave up Seem most girls my age have completely different interests and stuff. Plus when a lot of them find out I have a child, it scares them off, or they get sick of it once they find out I can't come out every weekend and drink all night with them. So I just take things as they come. But after just moving to Cairns (use to live in Melbourne) and knowing no one, you kind of miss that adult conversation and company.

I start my new job up here next week so looking forward to hopefully making some new friends.

[kawazuki]

yeh its a tough age
i find my friends i went to school with are like that so we dont socialise much any more i ahev kids and a husband and they have their nightclubsa nd booze.

hopefully you will meet some great people with your new job and maybe even meet some people through play groups or the like.

[Jellyfish]

Welcome to BellyBelly. Hopefully, you can enjoy a bit of interaction around here

Good luck for the new job!

ETA: I can understand feeling a bit disconnected from people your age. I'm 21 and most of my friends are long off having children so don't really understand where I am coming from most of the time.

[Oscar&Grouch]

hey single dad its lovely to see that you have taken on the role of sole carer of your adorable son... whats his name?
i think you are one great guy, i am 21 and about to give birth to my first son and i know exactly how you feel about being so young and the change in interests. i take my hat off to you for taking responsibility and do believe you will find that dream girl, and if shes scared off with the fact of your son then both of you dont need her live for eachother
there is plenty of lovely ladies around here that im sure would be willing to lend advice and a shoulder to lean on when needed, if you need someone to chat to feel free.

good luck with everything

[singledad]

Thanks, his name is Tyler. And best wishes for your new little boy

[BabyQ]

I just wanted to pop in and congratulate you on being such a strong and supportive Dad to your DS....
You've done such an amazing job and at such a young age!

:yeahthat: And WELCOME to BB! Don't be a stranger!

[fionas]

Just want to reiterate - don't worry about the age gap thing. I know siblings with very small age gaps who can't stand each other and siblings with large age gaps who are best buds. My DP is one of four brothers. The first three were born with a two year age gap between each one then there was an eight-year age gap before DP (so he's the youngest). Of the four of them, the two siblings who are the best mates are DP and his next-oldest brother. The eldest three, who are the closest in age, don't see each other much or have much in common.

As an old fart, can I just say that life tends to have a way of working out just fine. You just have to be patient sometimes so don't get hung up on finding someone in a hurry. A lot of relationships are started because people don't want to be on their own or give themselves a self-imposed deadline ... only for it to all end in tears.

Enjoy your little boy, enjoy life ... you've got a lot to look forward to!!!

[widdly]

fiona, I love your advice, perfect!

[Visitor7]

Welcome to BellyBelly! What an amazing job you're doing for your son. I can only imagine what you must be feeling and going through. You and your son must have been through a lot, and will no doubt go through a lot in the future. But you are still young, and so is your son, and you both have plenty of time for new adventures.
I wish you all the best with your upcoming job, and I hope you and your son enjoy it here in this lovely town of ours

ETA: I just read in another post of yours that you're a Centrelink CSA, do you still work at Centrelink? I work in the Cairns Call Centre.

[~clover~]

Hi & welcome to BB.
As you can see its a great place with the best support & advice!!
Good on you for taking care of your DS the way you are. Not many men your age could be bothered...single or not.
I had my babies at 18, 21 & 24, so I know about feeling left out of your age group...trust me! Can't drink all night & sleep all day, lol. I'd personally just sleep all day!
Things will happen when they are meant to You are still very young! Who knows you might meet a great woman with kids of her own similar age to your DS.
A bigger age gap can be a bonus too They can help out alot more