single mothers by choice

**rhianon** · May 19th, 2009, 02:15 PM

sorry - just noticed that in my long post I said if the HIV tests are positive then you can proceed - obviously I meant negative! sorry!

Abrahams mum · May 20th, 2009, 09:09 AM

Wow, thanks for all of that

lol you are so lucky to have such a great donor. I guess the most important thing is making sure that the donor is tested and clear of any infections, which is good going through the clinic. Otherwise you would really have to trust the donor, and that is hard going with someone you meet on the net.

I'm lucky that I actually work for a health service, so have access to all sorts of equipment that I may need. I ran an antenatal clinic and was a sexual health educator, so can track my cycles and can even feel when I am ovulating, I am still taking a pregnancy multivitamin as I am still breastfeeding, just getting the sperm is my main hurdle hahaha

Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. It is hard talking to people about it, as they think I am weird for wanting to go down this road, (all are happily in relationships) and keep telling me 'you never know, you might meet someone some day, it will make it a lot easier for you to have a partner' etc. They sort of miss the point that I don't want the whole knight in shining armor coming to rescue me

And I can actually see Germain Greer's point of view on society and relationships hahaha

How did your family and friends accept your choice? I've gotten to the stage I don't even want to say anything about what I am planning to do to anyone.

**rhianon** · May 20th, 2009, 09:34 AM

:-) I'm 37 and an only child so my family were just so excited they didn't mind how I went about it! My dad did keep trying to persuade me to just marry my donor...suggesting romantic weekends away etc...but in a good natured enough way. I have a lot of friends who are also mid to late 30's and single and wanting a child, so they are incredibly supportive and are now planning their own journeys thanks to my example giving them more courage. Its not so uncommon!
We are very lucky in QLD that there is no blocking legislation at the moment but I would not hang about too long if I were you because it is no longer so easy in NSW and VIC. In VIC you have to be infertile to access donor insemination and IVF services through a clinic, and in NSW they have a 3 tries and you are out medicare system. Here things are much much easier - for now.... oh - I didn't check - where are you?
One thing I didn't mention was that going through the clinic meant that we initially had his sperm tested for fertility and mobility - which saved potential heart ache of going through the process and then finding out he couldn't do it! If you donor already has his own children this risk would be reduced. It cost only a few hundred dollars to have this done, and we froze a sample for future IVF use if we had needed to go that far (phew).
anyhoo
must go, my angel is fussing...
let me know if you have any more questions...
Smiles
R