I am new here and have just found out that I am pregnant. I was excited by the news, but my partner of a year says he does not want anything to do with it, and that I am on my own. Its all just feeling a bit much and I want to know how did you get through it, how do you prepare yourself to be a single mum? Will by partner ever want to be involved in our babys life? How do i get through this?
There are a lot of women who raise children on their own, through the pregnancy and birth. Surround yourself with supportive people and you will be just fine.
Your XP will make his own choices about what he wants to do, whether he wants to be involved, or what part he will play in your child's life. There is nothing you can do to make those choices for him - you will just have to live with his choices knowing that they are HIS, and you can't change them (or him for that matter).
You are carrying YOUR child - you make decisions about the pregnancy and birth and at least the first few months of your child's raising. You can (and probably should) consider his opinions on most things, but remember whilst the child is growing inside YOU, then YOU make the choices about what is best for baby.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and yes, you can do it on your own. It's hard but I just kept reminding myself that there are women who choose to do this on their own. A friend's friend lives in the US and she has been trying for some years to have a baby but was not able to and this year she has adopted an 18month old from Rwanda. I've never lived with my DP but we'd been seeing each other for 5 years when I fell pregnant a third time (first two occasions were miscarriages). He decided that he wasn't going to be a part of it, told me by text message that he'd meant to break things off anyway before Christmas. It was a terribly unhappy time. My BB friends advised me to do what he wanted and cease contact with him, which I did. A few months later he decided that he would, afterall, like to continue our weird relationship. Didn't mean that he was there for DS's birth, or DS's first Christmas, his first birthday or even the Christmas just gone. BUT I have a little boy who I love to the moon and back and I wouldn't change a thing. Your friends and your family become even more important and you learn to cope. BB is a fantastic resource and support. Welcome to BB!
oh darl I know how you feel 100%. I had a very similar thing happen to me and it hurts.
Just remember you WILL be fine. Each day it hurts a little less, and by the time you are holding that gorgeous baby in your arms you will have forgotten all about the pain you are feeling now.
His loss. You will be fine. He may or may not wake up to himself at some stage but believe me it's not something you can change, or worry yourself over. It's pointless... I wasted so much time pondering that question myself. Right now, I have an 18 month old, who is gorgeous and adorable, whom I love with all my heart, and who does not see his father at all... for me, I just don't have to share him
hey hun, Im glad you came in to here for support x
I second everything Divvy said. Divvy is a wonderful strong intelligent woman and single mum, I regard her very highly, definately listen to her advice.
Just remember that we are all here for you day and night whenever you need to vent about things.
All your baby needs is YOU. Just try and concentrate on YOU and YOUR baby and no one else xxx
I am 22. And I am 11 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my first child. I did not plan this.
The father was a one night encounter with a friend of a friend. HE is younger than me, only 18 and has gone back to school to try and finish year 12 for real this time around.
I told him I was pregnant the day after I found out, at around 5 weeks. He sounded okay with it on the phone, stating that he was too busy for this, and he can't handle this because he is studying and he can't deal with the responsibility. He didn't say anything nasty like get rid of it or anything like that. So I figured that in time he'll probably come round.
Since then I have not heard from him. He claims to have broken his phone, but I just know he changed his number. I ran into him once up the street and attempted a conversation but he was 'late for school' and walked off while I was still speaking..
The first few weeks I was distraught about it. I was intent on talking to him so I could plan what to do next. It was stressing me out and I wasn't sleeping.
then I saw the light.. (so to speak)
DIVVY IS RIGHT!!
As much as I want him involved, I don't NEED him right this minute. I NEED to be doing whatever is best for my baby. So I'm focused on having a good pregnancy and not stressing over him, I have been sleeping so much better
I made MY plan for me and MY baby. If he decides to show up down the track, he can fit into MY plan wherever he suits, but I realized my plan does not have to revolve around him in the first place.
Hope your partner comes around and gets his act together (and I hope my baby daddy does too)..
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Single Parent?
I know how you feel 100%. I had a very similar thing happen to me and it hurts.
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