I could be wrong, but as i trawled through stupid amounts of information on stuff like that, you CAN remedy the situation through CSA, i think it's like a declaration of responsibility - basically it is a form/contract which states how much responsibility for the child each parent has, signed by both parents. I think it;s something like 11% or less is the minimum arrangement, if you get him to sign that it will waive his rights to a certain amount of stuff, the 'passport request' is one of them. Sorry to sound vague, I might have saved the document if i have I'll send it to you
I'm the same as you, I had so much trouble comming to terms with the legalities, and my options within that. The passport thing really got me worried, so I researched it heaps and I'm pretty sure that if you can get a signature from him, with this form, it will totally change that situation. And I reckon, once that's done, your FORMAL necessity to remain in contact will be over. I'll chase it up for you
I sent the birth certificate to TF to sign (sydney, i in melb) and he returned it to the registry unsigned. They contacted me and I gave them TF address and phone number. They contacted him and he denied paternity, he signed a form they sent him, formally denying paternity, and so the birth certificate has no information on the fathers side.
It's been such a heart ache. Everyone seems to have an opinion, and at the time I just couldn't decide what was right or wrong. It was awful.
Amy - sorry you have had such a problem with your birth cert. The girl I mentioned to toby turtle had similar probs with her DS biological father. He did the same thing (sent the birth cert back unsigned). Because he did that Family Services (in Darwin) ordered a paternity test through a family lawyer (didn't cost her) to prove/disprove paternity. It came back he was the father and even though he was still denying it his name went on the cert anyway. I don't know if thats a road you want to bother going down but if you decide too hopefully there are positive options available to you. Either way your little boy is lucky to have a mum who cares about and loves him so much, I think your doing great
That's really interesting about paternity not being an issue if they have nothing to do with the child, unforunately for me I've already requested child support and although he hasn't paid it (And I haven't harrassed CSA about it) he'll have to eventually so that'll rule that idea out. Damn you centrelink! (They required me to put in a request for child support to receive the full single parenting payments).
I have been in a parent/infant unit at a psychiatric hospital for the past month, I'm allowed to go home overnight so I can't wait to have a hot shower in my OWN shower, and sleep in a bed that doesn't have a plastic cover on the mattress. Aaah, the little things, the little things!!!
Amy - don't know where you're at with the breastfeeding/solids thing: if he's BFing when you're there, don't worry about his lack of solids intake, he's getting what he needs from the BFing. If he wasn't he would let you know - babies don't let themselves starve if there's food around Put it this way, DS is over 2 now, BF's overnight and doesn't eat much during the day unless he hasn't been booby...and he's a jumping jellybean with no weight issues and plenty of energy to burn! You don't need to put him off booby to get him eating, because if you're happy to BF him, he won't really need solids. And no single meal is going to give him the broad spectrum nutrition that one breastfeed will -that's why it's also better to give BF before a meal, so that at least they get the broad spectrum injection before getting the meal with a finite amount of vitamins and minerals
I hope your stay was beneficial, and if not, I hope you can find your mummy mojo soon! And please don't underestimate your mummy instinct
Dear Amy,
I'm glad you got to spend a night at home! I hope he fed well and can only imagine th excitment of having a shower in your OWN shower! )
I am a single mum to be and have been single since the start.. Some days it's quite daunting wondering how I will cope on my own emotionally, physically, financially. But I've got his far so I figure I will get through the tough times. I am due in 4 weeks, so time will tell.
I hope things are on the up and up for you.
If you or anyone has any advice for a single mum to be, please feel free to share! xx
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