I find I am gettin cranky and exhausted so quickly at the moment. I know it's only early days because i've only been at work for 2 weeks. But it's tiring. The kids are mucking up a lot more at the moment, I am thinking this is because it's all a new learning and adjusting period for them...
I'm up at 430, work by 6am get the girls after 3, home 330ish - then I am jumping straight into the afternoon/nightime routine and I am not sitting down until 630=7ish which I then collapse in my bed. I feel like I am going to burn out... The days I do afternoon shifts I won't be getting home until after 9pm and will still be up with the kids 6ish...
I feel bad for actually wanting them to go to their dad's just so I can have a little break...
There has been 4 nights that I have been away all night from my babies 3 of them I was in hospital and 1 night for my grad ball... I don't know how I am going to handle them going to their dads... And there is no set date on which they are going to do that, he's only just moved into a unit and hasn't got a bed for them or anything...
I've got a huge case of the guilts. Half of me just wants a break - a couple of hours to myself so that I can clean up or sleep or just sit and stare at the wall without being disturbed by crying/screaming/fighting etc and then I feel extremely guilting for wanting that... I am at work now so I am already missing out on time with them and DD is at school now so there is more of 'our time' gone... how stupid that I am wishing more time away to have a break... ;-(
*How do you do it?*
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