Changing From Shift Work To Non-Shift Work - Any Experiences?

[fionas]

DP works shifts - one week he starts early and is home early afternoon, the next week he starts late and is home around midnight. In addition, he often works weekends.

Basically, I feel like a single parent one week out of two because I work part-time and do the dinner thing on my own for DD and DSD. Plus, we don't really get weekends. And if DP has been working lates he will often need a day nap so I'm padding around the house trying not to wake him OR DD which does my head in a bit because this is a very noisy house.

So it feels like there's no structure to our life and we don't do Monday-Friday then spend the weekend together and I'm a bit jealous of that structure and certainty.

DP has been a shiftworker all his adult life (he's a traindriver) and I thought it was just going to be something I have to suck up. But there IS another job he could do which is normal hours and we are talking about him taking that.

Have you or your partner changed from shiftwork to non-shift work and what were your experiences - good and bad? Did it change your family life/dynamic for the better or did you find it difficult to adjust?

[Glamourcide]

Well, when DH stopped doing shiftwork we weren't parents yet... or even an actual couple (same house, separate bedrooms lol), but it did make things a lot nicer, and definitely improved our relationship. Going from odd hours and long shifts, to a regular 9-5, 5 days a week, meant a much more even split on chores and daily tasks, more time together and less strain on everyone involved because we didn't have to tiptoe around when coming and going because one of us was asleep and the other was awake, kwim?

For us it wasn't a difficult adjustment at all, but again, we didn't have kids and we weren't even together, just best mates living under the same roof, but I don't see it being terribly hard to get used to in a familial situation like yours, kwim? Your DH might need a bit of time to get his head around the change, as we all do when changing careers/jobs, and the kids would probably drive him bananas for a little while as they'd be excited to have 'awake dad' around more often than 'sleeping dad', kwim, but I think once that's sorted it could only be a positive thing. More time to spend with the kids, more time to help you out around the house, more time for the both of you to spend as a couple rather than 'ships passing in the night', and a lot less padding around trying not to disturb anybody while they're resting at odd hours!

I hope you guys make a decision that suits your situation and that it has the best outcome for you Best of luck!

[Michelle71]

I went from shift to non-shift and hated it!! Shopping with everyone else. Never getting the chance to go to the bank. Busy weekends with everyone else off too .........

On the plus side - you know what you are doing and when well in advance.

I now do 12 hour evenings which is 3 days / week full time and I love it. Full time pay with 4 days off a week and mornings with the little people. It is a lifestyle change that can take some getting used to. And some people enjoy the variety of shifts.

[Astrid]

Been through most of the variations of working. Very long days, day shift, night shift, working away etc Each transition was hard to deal with, but we eventually got through it all. DH now works a normal 8:15 to 5:00 week, with no overtime and only the occasional night away. It is so much better for all of us. It is good to have him home of a reasonable hour of an evening. He is able to help with the kids, help with dinner if need be, actually stop at the shop on the way home.

I was always very torn when he did the night shift, whilst I really liked the late night to myself and the bed to me (DH is a terrible snorer, so I do sleep better with him not there) I hated the having to be quiet when he was sleeping during the day. To me it was like I lost half a day, as there was nothing I could do in the house and I had to keep DD1 quiet. I hated being in my own house during that time and I only had limited places to go during the day.

DH knew the shift work, working away etc was just not good for us. I felt like a single parent and DD1 barely knew him. He chopped and changed so much we could never plan and had difficulty setting up a good night time routine for DD1. He made the decision to find a job that did not have such time pressures. Things have improved, DD1's sleep is so much better. DH's health whilst not fantastic is better than it was.

[Peach*]

Before I fell pregnant with Bub I was working crazy shifts at a club, good money but definately put a strain on DP and I as he worked normal hrs so we hardly ever saw each other as I was sometimes working till 8am.
Then when I fell pregnant I went to non shift which was SO much better. Definately get more time with family(and friends). I liked it too as I could get up on days off at a "normal time" instead of sleeping the day away.

[Crystalwings]

My DH has just changed from shift work to 'normal' hours and it has made the world of difference to our relationship. DH was getting up at 2:50am, getting home at 1pm then looking after Olive until 6 when I get home thne not going to bed until 9-9:30 so he was a wreck. It put so much extra strain on our relationship and that combined with a new baby and 2 sleep deprived parents really put alot of stress on us and we were fighting heaps. Now that he is working more normal hours our fighting has reduced dramactically and we are both so much happier. He is no longer just a husk when I get home from work.