Trying again after losing son who lived for 2 days

[Zara]

Hi All,

My story..... We lost our first baby back in April this year. He survived for two days before he took the decision himself that he couldnt fight any longer. It has now been just over 10 weeks and we are trying again. We have actually been trying for the last 6 weeks. My period has not yet returned, but I started ovulating about 6 weeks ago. I have taken numerous tests with no success. What I am finding hardest about concieving again is that because my period has not returned, I have no point of reference on when I should test or not test. I am certain that I have ovulated twice since birth, but no period and no baby. I read that on average most women get their period back around 10 weeks after birth.
Any advice?

[NaeNae]

Zara

I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy. I guess my only advice would be to wait until you get your period again or to go and see your GP. We're in different boats so what I have been told really won't help you.

Still I personally would wait until I got my period otherwise you may drive yourself mad doing test after test after test without having a date to fall back on. Have you been doing ovulation tests as well so you know exactly when you did ovulate last?

Hope you get your answers soon

Nae x

[mummytogirls]

Hi Zara.

I am sorry for your loss.

I found that my period returned after 5 weeks but really irregular. I found it really frustrating not knowing. I went and brought a Maybe Baby. I found it really worked for me and within 3 weeks I was pregnant. I also brought a pack of 40 pregnancy test from ebay. I decided if it made me stop wondering all the time I might as well just test every day.
My Midwife told me that once you ovulate your period is always 12days later. No matter how long your cycle is.
Best of luck trying and I hope it happens soon.

Rachel

[Kat2009]

I'm sorry about your lose of your little boy HUGS.

I'm in the same boat as you TTC though I have gotten my period it is so irregular that I have no idea when I'm ovulating.

My advice would be to see your Doctor. You will drive yourself crazy with the tests (I have an appointment Monday).

Best of luck and keep me posted.



Kat

[Zara]

Hi Everyone,
Thank you all for your replies.
Thanks Rachel for recommending Maybe Baby, i have now ordered it online and will see how i go. I have not heard of it before your message. I am also taking your advice about tests from ebay. Will let you all know how I go
Thanks again
Zara

[Nelle]

I'm sorry that you lost your little guy Zara.

No advice for the TTC, but wishing you all the very best. xo

[zstar]

hi zara

i am sorry for you loss. you are showing great courage. my brother lost his son at 2 weeks and has gone on to have 2 kids. stay strong.

i bought a maybe baby and i'm about to start using it if i don't have any luck this month. i have heard mixed things about it so i will let you know how i go.

i'm sure you will find the support on bb amazing and i hope your TTC time is very short!

big hugs

[MummaSue]

Hi Zara, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

I also wanted to suggest maybe trying acupuncture to sort your cycle out? After my miscarriage, it totally helped and straight away got my cycles back to normal.

Hope that you get some answers soon hun,
Hugs
Sue xxxxx

[Kass79]

Hi Zara,

Well I just want to say that I feel deeply for you, I have not experinced the loss of my child, just had 4 m/c, so I cant say that i understand, just that i know the feeling of loss. I personally would wait until my period has returned and give your body and mind time to heal. Your body is not going to give you what you want if your mind isnt ready.

However in saying that, I have driven myself crazy last month and the month before (the month I had my last m/c) trying and trying and testing and testing. I have done the ebay thing (bought lots of tests for cheap), and hope that this month will be the month.....the other thing you can do is do some ovulation tests, i havnt tried these, but i have heard good things......so good luck on your journey and may god give you the child you so desperately want....

[Berry1]

Hi Zara,

I very sorry for your loss . After my loss, AF came back after 5-weeks but was a bit erratic for a while. It is different for each person. I used Maybe Baby and did find it helpful. There are mixed views on this forum and I can understand why, it can be a bit tricky to get use to how to use it 'correctly' but I did find it helpful. After my loss I started temping, which really helped me detect when I was O'ing, but this is more helpful once you have charted a couple of months (hopefully you fall pg straight away though). There is a free website called fertility friend if you are interested. I second Sue's suggestion of trying accupuncture. I have read a lot of great things about it helping get your cycle back in check. I had been ttc for 6-months and was quite frustrated with the whole thing, after reading about some great successes with accupunture (there are some threads on this in the 'natural therapies' section) I started going and after one month got a BFP.

I really feel for you hun and pray that you get your BFP very soon There is a thread called 'ttc after late loss or still birth' there are an amazing group of women there that have been through the same or similar thing and are a great support when ttc and going through the grieving process. Take care of yourself.

[organicem]

Don't have advice but am sending my good vibes your way!!

[Vianna]

Am in the same boat as you. Trying before my periods have returned. But i have read, as long as you ovulate, there is chance.
here is to SUCCESS

So sorry for your LOSS

[milly5]

Zara,
I am so sorry for your loss.

I haven't given birth, but only m/c. But I know that you won't ovulate while you still have the hormone (HCG) in your system, and that it needs to return back to normal levels to trigger the ovulation cycle.

My dr advised me to have at least one normal AF following the m/c before TTC again.

I have used OPK sticks, and found them quite good at helping me determine when I ovulated. You can get them cheap on ebay.

once you ovulate your period is always 12days later. No matter how long your cycle is.

half right - each woman will have a fairly standard luteal phase (from ovulation till menstruation), and it is "around" two weeks on average. Mine is 11 days. If your cycle is longer than usual then it is usually because the ovulation is delayed.
A great book is taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler.

I wish you all the best, and hope you get your BFP and forever baby soon.

much love,
Milly

[LladyR]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

No advice, I just wish you all the very best in your journey. I'm also TTC again, following my recent loss at just 4 weeks 4 days.