OMG can someone stop my hubby SNORING!?!?!?!!

[belfie]

So I have a baby - he's asleep.
I have a husband - also asleep.
Me - WIDE A-FRIGGING WAKE!

Ok I've never had trouble with insomnia before.... and I found in the early months of having DS I could sleep at the drop of a hat. But recently... DH is a TERRIBLE snorer - need I say more? And DS occasionally arcs up & needs a re-settle. Between the two of them... if one doesn't wake me, the other does. Or then stupidly, when they're both fine, but I just can't get to sleep! I think my sleep patterns just get so stuffed up that my body just doesn't know what to do. Then eventually I get so darn tired I manage to sleep at normal times again. Then it all starts up again a week or so later.

Now DH and I have both had a bit of exposure to sleep hygiene stuff in our work. So I know to get up, do something quiet, don't have caffeine/big rich food before bed, no tv in bedroom, no reading in bed etc etc.... But it just seems crazy! I've googled the stuff about insomnia on the web... and it kinda applies... but honestly a heap of my problem is due to the snoring. I'm doing the right stuff, but that just shoots me in the foot! I end up lying in bed waiting for the inevitable jackhammer to start.... and whether he tries to wait till I'm asleep, or come to bed after me... just makes me wait longer! (oh and I have tried ear plugs too).

I got DH to look at sleep apnea (cos we both wonder if he has it) and he's taken some measures to try and help - he's trying to get fitter, lose some weight, he did cut his sugar intake right down and that DID help. But then it's tough on him not to have any sugar either, and ANY dairy sets him off (he's not good with dairy) and then we're out & about... he can't eat like a saint ALL the time. He has some sugar. He starts snoring again. And the cycle starts again. And I end up feeling crap. Last time it happened badly I just couldn't think straight, I wouldn't get to sleep before 2am regardless of whether he was snoring. I was sooo grumpy. I was probably on the verge of depression.

So on Fri night DS was unsettled, then DH snored (little sleep had). Sat night DH snored - i got to sleep at 2am. I can't remember thurs night. But, I should be STUFFED tonight after a few bad nights in a row. I even tried a power nap today and couldn't go to sleep! I've done some exercise. I didn't have caffeine after 3pm. We set up the sleep sofa JIC - so I've got somewhere comfy to sleep all ready (cos that has sometimes helped in the past!).

But nope, I've been sitting here surfing thinking I'll feel sleepy soon. Instead I feel WIDE AWAKE and annoyed that I'm wasting my time. I know I'll feel wrecked tomorrow. I know I should be sleeping while DS sleeps. i know I shouldn't be thinking all this. But does it all help? NO!

I hate this. I love cuddly snuggling with my beloved DH, not lying in the lounge thinking crap not this again. Could I just get him a nose transplant????

I'm off to get some Baileys. I've tried all the "proper" things, now it's time for the desperate strategies! And the biggest irony - DS snores too! I have to laugh or I'll cry about it! Arrrgh that's my vent over!

[Visitor3]

OM Gosh I feel your pain ! DH is a snorer. But at this stage I think karma has kicked in because now I'm snoring to the point where he has to get up and go sleep on the couch !

Ok back to you, first of all big hugs. Secondly has DH tried sleeping on his front, like on his belly ? Because that's the only way, shape or form my DH sleeps without snoring !
Perhaps try that? If it doesn't work maybe try going to sleep before him and hopefully he doesn't wake you up with his snoring?

Hope you get some relief soon darls, good luck xx

[RhiChiChi]

Awww hun, I feel for you. DH is a snorer and it is usually due to being really, really tired or really really drunk! He used to be worse, but since being in a physically active job & losing weight, it has changed for the better.

Have you thought about the position he sleeps in? If my DH is on his back, he snores, so I nudge him to roll onto his side. Also sounds like your body clock is out of whack, so I probably wouldn't sleep during the day (unless absolutely nec.). Can you try to get to bed earlier than your DH, so you are asleep first?

I just wanted to say, I totally sympathise with you and good on your hubby for trying to change things!

[~Kim~]

oh sweetheart I feel your pain.....go to he spare bed and get a couple of nights solid sleep...then send him to the doctor in the meantime for an assessment.
My DH snores so badly that you can hear thim three rooms away while your head is under the shower. Both my kids snore too - woohoo NOT!.
DH has been assessed and has chronic sleep apnoea. He has a CPAP mask, which helps most of the time but he hates wearing it. He does always comment on what a good sleep he has when he does wear it though
If he's asleep before me and not wearing it - too bad I need to sleep too and DS and I are in the spare bed.
It is much better when he is lighter and we are working on getting 30kgs off ATM, so I understand your DH feeling a bit deprived, but hey it isn't fair that you should have to stay awake either and which is worse? He's still getting fed, but you're getting no sleep at all.....
My DH stops breathing over 50 times per hour according to the assessment....that can't be good for long term health.

[megs]

Hi Belfie,

I hear your pain, whilst I was pregnant with Jack DH was at his worst, it didn't matter what way he was lying and he was loud. I even went to the spare room but could still hear him through the wall, so ended up on the computer for a couple of hours.

I ended up getting him Nasal Strips called Breathe Right. They did help, some nights better than others and DH even commented on how much more refreshed he felt in the morning from getting a good nights sleep.

Good luck I hope you can solve it soon.

[Emma1979]

i feel your pain, i think DP and i spend about an hour in bed together, i go to bed first, then he comes to bed later, then within an hour of him falling asleep i am awake and can't get back to sleep as he is snoring, or quite often just audibly breathing, but its enough to keep me awake, so i wander into the spare room and fall asleep in there.... its not very ideal for a relationship but neither is lack of sleep, so for me i put sleep first... i recently googled the subject and found a staggering number of couples sleep separately due to different sleep habits (snoring etc). made me feel less bad about it.

[belfie]

well, all your lovely posts made me feel better. And I think DH started to realise the gravity of the situation (i.e. insane wife incoming if you're not careful!) and came up with a gorgeous trick to try... because I end up just being more wakeful if he tries to wait to come to bed later - he said he'd set up a bed on the lounge floor (we have no spare room) and the sofa bed is too short for him. So single foam mattress on the floor - and he'd sleep there. And IF i manage to get to sleep before him, well then he can alway ssneak back into bed!

I was really pleased he was trying to come up with something. We've done 3 nights so far, and he's only snuck back in once, at 5am this moning lol! But our bub has been unsettled with a cold, so that's kinda mucked things up too. So it's not a solution yet, but we're working on it. Need to try the breathe right strips. Re sleeping on his back - that NEVER happens, cos I always make him roll onto his side. Sometimes when I've been in the lounge, have to go into the bedroom and roll him over so he's facing to the window, cos he's that loud even on his side, with the door shut AND the carpet snake in place... that it still keeps me awake from another room.

~Kim~ - I have a question - can you hear your DH stop breathing? I've listened to my DH and I can't hear anything that sounds like sleep apnea, but maybe I don't know what to listen to? Or can it happen and not be assessable by a lay person? I would like DH to be assessed... need to work on that.

Oh and ironically enough, the one day I tried to day nap - I couldn't. But usually I do avoid day sleeps unless I'm just absolutely non-functional. Then of course bub is unsettled and I feel like a total idiot for having not slept when i could! arrrgh. I have a plan that as we convert my home office to a second bedroom/nursery, there will be a day bed in there for me.... so I can sleep there during the next PG. Sofa bed in lounge/mattress on floor is just a PITA - we can't live like this forever! And we don't have that big a house we can have separate bedrooms - plus I don't want that anyway.

Anyway, off to bed for me now! Sleep well & may your husbands be quiet (ancient irish blessing )

[~Kim~]

Belfie, only sometimes can I hear him stop breathing. It must be the nurse in me, but it did used to wake me up. So I's count and if he hadn't started breathing on his own by 10 I'd give him a shove to get it going again.
But generally no you couldn't hear it. I would only hear maybe once or twice a night but when he was assessed clinically it was over 50 an hour.

[Yael]

My DH is a terrible snorer... He has sleep apnoea, even though he didn't fit any of the 'risk' groups for it, but when they did the soft tissue x-rays they found he had a very tiny airway due to a very set back lower jaw, so when he is on his back he has no chance. They said maybe smashing his lower face and reconstructing it along with adonoids & tonsil removal MIGHT help, so it wasn't worth it, and otherwise the splint (mouthguard) or CPAP is the only way to go.

The only true way to diagnose it is to have a sleep study done.

Since he has been on the CPAP (we started with the splint but it was a huge waste of money and did little for him), the results are great. He feels so much better in the mornings, and th snoring is very minimal as long as he keeps the mask on and also wears a chin strap which reduces snoring.

Besides the fact that we are still married and sleep in the same room (thought i would go insane from the snoring & cruddy sleep), (still have seperate beds as i don't liek the air from the cpap blowing at me, but i'm ultra sensitive sleeper), it is so much better for him, both in how he manages, and there are longer term health implications in leaving sleep aponea untreated.

I would recommend seeing a sleep specalists to have an assessment done, i can recommend highly my DH specalist - based at Cabrini Malvern. PM me if you are interested.

[belfie]

They said maybe smashing his lower face and reconstructing it along with adonoids & tonsil removal MIGHT help, so it wasn't worth it

my goodness, that's a difficult solution to sell! I'll send you a PM, I think an assessment is definitely the way to go. I think my DH is putting it off, cos he knows if he loses weight that helps, and I don't think he wants to hear someone say it. But, he snores at any weight anyway... so that's it, I'm just gonna book him an appt - fait accompli!

Btw, do we need a dr's referral for the specialist?

[belfie]

Just for the record. In case there was ANY doubt... SNORING BITES!!
I think I should go back to the store where I can return my defective snoring husband and get the new quieter model.

*stomps off for a hot chocolate with baileys*

[Fleur]

oh.... I was watching this thred in hopes of a miracle cure

and my DH isn't as bad as some of yours from the sound of it. It's just that he gets up earlier than me, so goes to bed earlier, and is almost always snoring by the time I come up to bed.

I don't think there is any more infuriating sound. Even the smallest snuffle makes me want to thump him

He is getting worse too. I t used to be only if he was really tired or drunk, on his back. Now it's every night, back, side, tummy... doesn't matter. And he gave up smoking! Whats up with that!

Hope you ladies find a solution soon

[Lulu]

I just read a little article in a magazine and it said a banana smoothie before bed has helped lots of blokes. Something to do with the nanas....

[belfie]

Right. DH will be turning INTO a banana smoothie, thanks Lulu!

jasp - DH is so the same. He's procrastinated re following up with docs, but finally made GP appt for next Weds to get specialist referral... ... that's after he got the following email at 2am Thurs morning:

Step 1: Call doctors, make appointment
Step 2: Call Cabrini and make appt for sleep specialist (BEFORE GP appt because there might be quite a wait)
Step 3: STOP SNORING!!!
Step 4: Keep wife.

I'll let you know how we go.

[Yael]

Just to encourage him to do something about it, if he does have undiagnosed sleep apnoea, not only will he feel SOOO much better getting it sorted out, but leaving it untreated puts people at higher rates of strokes and other problems because of constantly denying oxygen to your body in little amounts all the time.

[Mr Squidipa]

i would highly recommend that if you notice that your partner stopps breathing several times a night that he/she goes for a sleep test i have just recently been for one and are waiting for th results as i stop breathing times a night and i am a snorer

[belfie]

Thanks Yael & Mr S (hello again ) well he's been sent off to an ENT as the first step, but the GP certainly took it seriously and didn't even try to fob him off with various otc crap. So he's at the ENT on Tues, and we'll see how we go. AFM, well we're taking it in turns who sleeps in the lounge. I need a bigger house oh well, at least I'm getting sleep!!!

Mr S, GL luck with your results and getting treatment.