TD I'm not really religious but it sounds like you are going through a stage of being very passionate about Islam. I think you should just go with it - dig deeper, research, learn, discover, talk to people in the know and other seekers. Whatever it takes to satisfy the desire IYKWIM. The desire is there for a reason, its leading you to something. You will probably find in the end that its something you didn't expect, but why fight it... I think its a positive thing
I reckon just go with your feelings, keep searching, asking, learning, make dua (ask Allah for help/guidance/understanding) and look for other sisters in your area who you can talk to and learn from.
Where abouts are you located, if you dont mind me asking?
May Allah help you and all of us to do what is best and most pleasing to Him. ameen.
I started by just wearing long sleeves and covering my hair with caps and scarves tied kinda hip-hop style. I was a part-timer for a while too. I would wear it to the mosque but not to work and if I couldn't find a scarf to match my outfit I would just leave it off. After a while it came to feel more natural.
Maybe you could google how to hijab and hijab styles for more ideas about how to do scarves so you can find a style you like.
How about taking some lessons? Is there a Quran school for adults near you? If you contact your local mosque I'm sure they can put you in touch with classes and/or workshops. There are prayer mats that you can buy with instructions on them until you can remember the surahs yourself.
you're not going mad. I think that it's just your iman growing stronger.
UmmAadam - i live in Cranbourne, which is near Dandenong/Narre Warren (if you don't know the south eastern suburbs)
Bron - i got the book - When the Moon Splits - which i am currently reading. I can't put it down. I got several others too, such as the Wives of the Prophet Muhammad, Islam- the natural way, The purpose of creation. I ordered them online, but am thinking of going to the bookshop next weekend to buy some more books. So, thank-you for your help. May Allah bless you and your family.
There is a lady friend which i like and i ask her the questions which are left unanswered in my head and she helps them clarify for me.
I will google hijab styles and maybe start wearing them on the weekend to the local shops or something.
I've downloaded the prayer actions and surahs to help kick start my memory.
Another dilemma are my gel nails. I know that my abdest (cleansing wash- don't know what its called in english/arabic) is not accepted because my gel nails, so i need to get rid of them, but i like them so much and without them i bite my nails.
TD, I found some classes if you're interested IISNA | Islamic Information & Services Network of Australasia
I'm not sure where you are in Melbourne so it might be miles from you. They have women only classes on saturdays. I have no idea what madhab they are.
yes IISNA has some good classes. the same lady who does the saturday morning class there also does a class on thursday mornings at Preston Mosque. there are really nice classes on tuesday mornings, by my dear friend and teacher. she is so lovely, masha'Allah and I always leave her class feeling stonger in my faith. they have childcare available, i think just $2 or somehting like that.
IISCA usually have good classes too but havent been for a while so im not 100% sure what.
Preston mosque also have good classes on Friday nights by Bilal Assad, very nice how he talks and explains things, masha'Allah.
Those are really good books that you are reading sis, keep it up
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