2 1/2 year old keeps running away

[Evie76]

Hello

My 2 1/2 year old really enjoys running away from us at the moment. He thoroughly enjoys doing it in the shopping centres and having us chase after him. Now that we have the new baby, I'm really not able to get after him and when I'm by myself I have him in the pram only. He screams when he's in the pram because he's confined, but I'd rather put up with the screaming than chase the kid. When my DH is there, he likes him walking but he is able to chase him. If we ignore him, he just disappears but eventually comes back. I'm not worried about him not coming back, I am worried about who can grab him when he takes off.

Today he ran away from me in a car park and I had to grab him really quickly. It probably looked to people like I was beating him up, but I only just caught him by the back of his T-shirt before he entered traffic. I was so angry with him and said to him quite loudly not to run away from mummy and daddy as he could be run over by a car. He started telling me off and wagging his finger at me.

So, I ain't getting through to the kid.

I want him to have independence, but this is getting ridiculous.

Have any of you got suggestions (don't want to use a lead thing and the only other thing is keeping him in the pram)? I thought if he took off in the shopping centre next time, we could hide but keep an eye on him. Freak him out a bit - I'm really not hot on that idea though. Seems a bit cruel to me. I'm at a loss.....

Any help/experience would be great.

[foreva*your*mummy]

OH i know this, But if you dont want to use the "lead" have you seen the ones that go on the wrists? You could get a strap for your pram and tell him that he has to hold onto this if he want to walk like a big boy? if he then lets go you put him in the pram. After a while you can ask him if he is ready to get out and hold onto the "special" strap for big boys and start all over again lol.
It is time consuming and you have to be persistant. The problem is they can be persistant themselves. Good luck I hope you find something that works for you

[~clover~]

Hate to say this, but, honestly, think of your sons safety. You really only have 2 options. The lead, or the pram. What if next time you don't catch him?
I'm sorry, but I don't understand people's issues with harnesses. They are for the safety of the child...just like a pram, locks on doors, baby gates, play pens, fences...
Your child is taking off in the most dangerous area's. If you were in a car park with a dog would you let it free or have it on a lead to prevent it getting hit by a car?
I've had the same issues with my children & bought a harness for DD2 that she still wears in big shopping centres. She's 4 & still hasn't learnt after she did actually get lost & scared the crap out of herself.
It's just not worth the risk IMO.

[Oorki Galoorki]

i allow the kids to run in the shops but insist that they hold my hand in the car park.
if they dont like that i carry them.
if you know he will come back i would just stand and wait for him to come back..
I know not everytime you go to the shops you have the time to wait so these times i usually race my kids.. they love running..

[Lulu]

Hmmm, hiding might not work. I did the same to DD, I ended up following her at a distance. She walked nearly halfway across Knox City (pushing her dolly pram) and was about the board the escalator when I had to grab her.

She didn't look back ONCE! Was having a lovely old time, didn't get scared at all...

However, if he continues to take off I'd get a backpack strap outfit for him. I know you don't like them much but running into traffic is too dangerous to risk xoxoxo

[~Kim~]

Hey evie, it's hard isn't it? Darcy was doing that when I was heavily preg. My mum couldn't belive I could run so fast, but hey if she's headed for the traffic even my best policeman's voice isn't going to do much.
Someone gave me one of those backpack leash things and like you I was very much against them. However, I couldn't spend my whole life with her at home, and I wasn't supposed to lift anything so taking the pram and lifting a toddler into it was out.
It took 2 (yes 2) goes at wearing it out and she was different. She stopped being silly. To get her used to it, I let her play with it at home and then out. Lots of people praised her and commented on her lovely backpack so she was happy. She learnt she couldn't run away. I kept it in the car for ages but seriously she's never worn it since.
Everytime we go out though, we go over 'the rules' for when we go out. One if them is not running away. She knows that if she does we go home straight away.

mate. I know how tough it is, but it does get better.

[ubba82]

Im not crash hot on the leads either, but happy to compromise with the backpack. Hope everthing is going well with you and the new addition Eve xx

[Evie76]

bjrose - you're right on the money. I have no objections to the "buddies" at all. In fact, we own the monkey one. As soon as he has it on, he sits down and refuses to move anywhere. He makes it awfully difficult. I could end up looking like that parent I saw recently on the news. What I could do is put a skate board under his bottom, strap him to it and lead him about (JOKING!!). He loves to cuddle the monkey, but as soon as his back pack is on, it's "sit down" time. He's got it AAALLLL figured out.

Lulu - I'm pretty sure that's what he'd do as well. In fact, I'd bet my house on it!!

krissy - I like your idea. There's an air of independence and making your own decisions there. I'd like him to do that sometimes.

Ubba - everything is great - apart from the running child. You should have seen me trying to catch him when I was 42 weeks pg!!! I couldn't move, it was unbelievable.

I think the pram is the only solution. Like I said, I'm not worried about him not coming back, I'm worried that I can't see him and see who is around him. My greatest fear for my kids is other people - and I think you all know what I mean in that regard. There are people out there who think it's their right to touch you or your children. Creepy stuff.

The running in to traffic is a massive issue. I have nightmares about it. Thanks for your input.

[Rivlas]

I did a similar thing to krissy when my DD2 was smaller.
DD1 had a piece of ribbon attached to the side of the pram and she had to hold that. When DD2 wanted to get out she had the same rule but thought it funny to run away. She soon learnt that if she didn't hold onto the ribbon into the pram she went. I used a wrist strap when we had no pram with us after a while I used to put it on so loosely she didn't know the difference.
Safety is so important when shopping and letting them get lost will work on some kids while others will have a wonderful time in their own little world.

[ladybird11]

Maybe you could try saying (around the house in a game like fashion for practice) "walk, walk, walk, walk, STOP" - as you say walk you and he (obviously) walk around the backyard or wherever and when you say stop you both stop like statues...then maybe he'll recognise the word when you say it and will stop?

But if he's too determined or distracted or tempted it probably won't work - so yeah, pram or lead would be the safest option.

Good luck Evie!

[~clover~]

Bugger. Makes life impossible. They have a habit of that though, little buggers! lol

[Ozziehoffy]

We have the puppy backpack and OMG what a difference! As for your little one cuddling it, can you put it on his front and clip the tail onto the side buckle instead?? Then he can cuddle it but walk?

[Nettie]

Evie - I don't have any advice (not had to go there yet!) - but .

Hope you get the solution soon.

[Jac]

i allow the kids to run in the shops but insist that they hold my hand in the car park.
if they dont like that i carry them.
if you know he will come back i would just stand and wait for him to come back..
I know not everytime you go to the shops you have the time to wait so these times i usually race my kids.. they love running..

I totally agree with this advice. Give him the choice - walk while holding your hand around cars/traffic or in the pram. Simple as that and no lead required. As they get a bit bigger (and more trustworthy!) transition the hand holding to holding the edge of the pram/trolley/stroller. I find this to be very affective IF it's used consistently.