just a little bit over it.

[belfie]

Just need a little vent.

During my PG - I had: spotting, bleeding, bed rest, prolapse so severe they rushed me to hosb in an ambo cos they thought I was losing bub (21.5 weeks), GD and insulin. Plus I already have fructose malabsorption, so limited diet anyway.

Since DS born: he got ezcema at 2.5 months, he was a lousy BFer (mouth-breathing dribbling mess), since has got dermagraphia & hives every so often. I've expressed exclusively since about 8 weeks (and actually got better supply on the pump than I ever did with him BF'ing!). On Fri found out he's allergic to eggs and some (probably all) treenuts (told to avoid all). Which means I have to avoid them also (still expressing - limited diet thing again). We were also told to go find a speechy, cos he isn't progressing well with his feeding. Whenever he gags (on either thick texture, lumps or finger food) he projectile vomits, and it's at the stage he won't even put finger food in his mouth. Countless people have told us to go and see an ENT cos he's always been snuffly/snorty and they all think it's related to the bad BF'ing and failure to progress with solids. So we have ENT appt in Nov. And I'm chasing up speechies/feeding clinics. It didn't occur to me to see a doc for his feeding, but when we were at the allergy doc she basically said you need to get that seen, and maybe a video-fluroscopy to rule out structural issues - and suddenly I realised that he's had problems with swallowing since day dot. Trouble with BFing, trouble with early solids (saw a dietician who helped us there), trouble progressing as he should - and I was just doing the same things all my friends are doing. Only with my DS it doesn't work and last time he vomited he was soooo unhappy. He just sat in his highchair heaving, gulping and sobbing... and covered in vomit

So this is my vent - i'm just a bit sick of getting those things that only 5% of the population seem to get. I'd just like to get none of them. I'd like to be in the 95%. I'm worried he won't grow out of the allergies (and DH can't do dairy - so between us we're ruling out LOTS of different foods!).

And the thing is, I know we'll get there. I know it'll be ok. And he's an adorable healthy chubby little fella. I'm just feeling a bit... like we're always on the medical merry-go-round, but the other bubbas I see don't seem to get any of it (even tho I know that there's other bubbas out there with far worse things... ). DH and I were always petrified that our kids would have food intolerances (because we both do), but I didn't expect it to happen so early . I'll just have to pray he grows out of it.

So anyway. I just wanted to get the "poor me's" out and hopefully I'll feel better with it off my chest... and back to thinking positive. Thanks for listening.

[*Beema*]

Oh hun you are a wonderful mum and you are providing the very best you can for your gorgeous little fella (love the piccy in your sig too cute )

I am so sorry that you are having so many challenges presented before you. A few of the positives in your post are that you have a happy and chubba bubba, so all of your expressing and feeding efforts are working really really well. I really hope that your appointments come sooner and you can get some answers for what is really the underlying factors in your DS challenges.

I do understand having a child with some difficulties and delays. DD is 14 months, and she has significant (7months) Gross Motor Skill delays due to hypermobility, we are working very hard on her physio (daily and then weekly sessions at the hospital) to get her moving, but I can't help but look at other babies seeing them rolling, crawling, cruising and walking and feeling jealous (although I am happy we haven't had to baby proof the house yet!). But I feel for DD as she is getting increasing frustrated that she can't move, and when she does it is hard work, and exhausting.

I too want her to be "normal", but have come to understand that "normal" is rare and that a majority of babies all have different "normals". I know that at the moment it must feel like nothing is going right and that you are tired and frustrated of not seeing any developments in DS's feeding, but hopefully with the right assistance, attention and when he is ready he will get there. A friend's littl boy wouldn't even consider any other than pureed food until he was 18 months, but is now a pretty good eater.

We are here for you, for a shoulder to cry on, I hope that he does grow out of his allergies.

Take care
xxxoo

[SamiH]

oh hunny .....

sounds a bit airy but you are never thrown something you don't have the strength to deal with - and you do deal with it all, and you know you will all be ok, but it is damn tiring doing it though!!!!

He is in 95% for crawling - there you go something small, but I hope it made you smile.

I dont have any other words that I havent shared already - maybe the name is jinxed with non-eating - mine still doesnt eat much still either

At least you have found out all of these things early so living with them will become the norm for you xxxxx

[MistyFying]

belfie sometimes it's good it get it all out.

[belfie]

*Beema* - thanks heaps. I read your post and i feel like such a whinger (I know you didn't mean for me to) but it's true, there are so many different shades of normal. I know the thing I always come back to is that I can whinge, b!tch and moan as much as I want... at the end of the day, it won't change anything. I'm a big believe in change what you can and accept what you can't. But it's funny, some days the ability to do that just deserts you. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job too, I can only imagine how frustrating and difficult it must be for you. I feel both humbled and honoured that you took the time to respond to my post. I hope that your DD continues to progress and all that hard and frustrating work pays off, as I'm sure it will. And as you said, there are different normals, and ultimately, that's what's normal for THIS little person - whether that is movement problems, or allergies, or itching or whatever.

SamiH - i have to repeat myself to you too - thanks heaps and lol yes you did make me larf with the crawling bit. And I know you've struggled with the eating stuff too. I must admit, I had wondered how you found it with the allergies? I know your DS gets anaphylaxis - if you don't mind my asking, how do you cope with that? Did you find it stressful to begin with?

MistyFying - thanks for the hug, and yes getting it out did help. I think i've been feeling that this one big whinge was just locked inside for a long time... now it's out... for better or for worse - it's probably better than being inside still!

And as I usually do, I got through my day of mopes and I'm feeling mostly better about it all. Both my FIL & MIL have advised me to wean asap rather than cut out eggs/wheat... even tho I'm planning to stop in 3-4 weeks anyway! So I've just ignored that little gem. We're back to the paed tomorrow which will hopefully be helpful and i'm chasing up speechy/feeding clinic options. And I'll just remember that if we're in the 5%, well clearly we're just extra special! (and I always thought normal was just a little bit boring)

Thanks again,
Belfie

[SamiH]

i wont lie - everything freaked me out after DS nearly died! Without exaggerating, I told myself off so many times for not being more vigilant and watching my kids - that I probably went overboard - but hey, I thought they were safe with extended family, but obviously they didnt believe me when I told them he was allergic and just decided to push the boundaries - and they still do with soft drinks, hard lollies - all that type of thing - stuff that my kids dont have normally because somehow I am "depriving" them . At least you have medical proof - we didnt have that to start - just my word!!! You will encounter people who will roll their eyes at you and just think you are being overprotective etc - and that is hard - but it will become habit. And as I posted previously - at least you know early so introduce his diet accordingly and not have to revamp at 2 or 3 years old.

Oooh what a rant!

I have relaxed a bit now - but remember my supermarket story - that never occurred to me - anyone who reads this - my DS started playing with the boxes which all the nuts are kept in in the fruit section at the supermarket - he didnt know they were nuts in their shells etc - just lucky I screamed the place down and he stopped - yes embarrassing LOL - but it is little things like that that never crossed my mind.

Having said I have relaxed - he is having his first sleepover at his bestie's house tonight - I know his mum well and have told her again the Epipen will be packed, his bestie has been told he cant have crunchy nut cornflakes for brekky blah blah - but I am still a tad nervous

[*Beema*]

*Beema* - thanks heaps. I read your post and i feel like such a whinger (I know you didn't mean for me to).

And I'll just remember that if we're in the 5%, well clearly we're just extra special! (and I always thought normal was just a little bit boring)

Hun you are not a whinger

Gosh I have written lots of posts, being concerned, worried or tired or not sure whether I am stressing about something I shouldn't be! It is all a part of being a mum who care so very deeply for the health, happiness and wellbeing of their child.

That 5% is very special Glad you are chosing the best time for you to wean.

How did you appointment with the Paed go? Hope you got some answers.

Take care
xxoo

[belfie]

SamiH - thanks hun I appreciate hearing how it was for you. It sounds like it was really tough - and as for overboard, well is there really an overboard reaction? I think you had very real & valid concerns that you had to be careful. I can really understand that. And yeah as for the eye-rollers, well given DH & I have dietary issues and I'm sure there's already folks who think we're precious anyway... well they'll have a good laugh at us with a kid who has issues too. But the medical proof, as you say, does help. So saying, the first thing my MIL said was "oh surely he can have a little bit of egg can't he?" Plus MIL & FIL are the types to keep trying to push salty sugary food anyway - they're always saying "oh he can have some sausage now... or some icecream...?" It's like...are you insane? no no and NO! He does NOT need that crap - so I'm kinda prepared for their food stupidity as he gets older.
And I was glad to hear the sleepover went well - good on you.

*Beema*

Gosh I have written lots of posts, being concerned, worried or tired or not sure whether I am stressing about something I shouldn't be! It is all a part of being a mum who care so very deeply for the health, happiness and wellbeing of their child.

Aaaw thanks. I've gotta remember that. I guess it's just so easy to have it all be out of perspective. Well the paed was the oppositve of the RCH doc. The RCH doc made us feel that really his eating was way off track and we need to get onto it. The Paed made me feel like it was nothing and that we were the "worried well" (even though he was very nice about it). He also thought I should just stop expressing - GRRRRR - SO angry about that. And DH was clueless and joking about how I was addicted and wouldn't stop. VERY cross about that - two men sitting joking about how I couldn't stop expressing. Needless to say DH and I had a "chat" about that one! Anyway, paed thought speechy wouldn't hurt for feeding, and ENT to be "in the system" was a good idea, apparently his tonsils are pretty big. But yeah, i'm pretty over that paed tbh, and I don't think we need to see him again.

And honestly, X is such a chubby healthy little fella that this does minimise the need to intervene, and I think docs just think oh he's fine. but I know what his eating is like... and I can see the distress just increasing... so whether that's normal or not I'm just gonna try and follow my mummy gut - he (and I) need some help with it, cos we are SO going backwards. And I'm mostly ok with the dietary stuff. I've kinda come to terms with the allergy stuff. And I WILL friggin' pump for 20 more days and FIL, MIL, SIL and paed can go jump!!!

K, rant over now. Thanks again ladies

[MantaRay]

It can be very overwhelming when it seems to be one thing after another. It's ok to feel down or frustrated from time to time. I'm sorry that you now have allergies to deal with - I hope you are able to make the special diet work for your family

[SamiH]

WAHHHHHHHHHHHH what - only 20 days until our babies turn 1!!!

And, I noticed MR's DS has a birthday on 25/09 too - what a special day it is

[MantaRay]

Wow Sami, it is a special day!! And I can tell you that it's hard to believe that my baby is about to turn 3!!