My fiance and i are having problems!!!
we are having a fight
he doesnt understand how my body is feeling or my emotions etc but he says he does and that by me saying he doeasnt makes him feel stupid and not involved
how do i make him feel involved when im the one going through all these changes and feeling and hormaones and emotions??
he doesnt have sore boobs and sore hips and sickness and bloating heartburn etc etc the list could go on
he still drinks alcohol and coffee and eat what he wants i dont and cant
i dont knw what to do im at work crying and dont want to talk to him coz im feeling so upset he thinks i think he is stupid and dont involve him but i do, i tell him how im feeling the changes he says 'i know '
i read him things from all my [preg books, i tell him stuff all the time im always talking to him
what do i do im so upset i feel so so alone like i dont even have him to talk to like i should just shut up and not tell him anything
and dont get me started on the fear i have on losing bubs im 17 weeks and its been a hard one, cramps pain iv had worries i would miss carry , and something would eb wrong
its my first baby cant i be scared and worried ? but im alwaysd being told dont worry everything is fine fine fine fine lol..wedont know that
Last edited by CinderToriella; September 21st, 2009 at 10:37 AM.
Maybe get him his own book? My DH loved "So You're Going to be a Dad" which is written by an Aussie guy, he used to read it on the train every day. It was very cute, he'd tell me things that were happening / going to happen with the pregnancy & even if I already knew I'd show interest so he could be involved properly.
Sorry hun, I didn't think that at all. My husband was the same, very supportive but just didn't understand a lot of the stuff I was going through. See for us we feel everything from the minute we are pregnant, we can't turn it off, we live it every day. For our partners / husbands they can go to work & forget about pregnancy for a while IYKWIM, it's hard for them to understand everything or to feel involved when you still look like you (ie when you're not showing yet) and when they can't feel movements. For them everything is going perfectly, but for us we feel the pains & have all the concerns because we can't get away from it IYKWIM.
Honestly, I think it is a man thing.
I am tired a lot, my hips and back ache. He doesn't understand, he pretends he does but has no idea.
Maybe when you start birth classes he will get more of an idea. does he go to appointments with you? I am seeing a male midwife, next time I go for an appt DP can come too and he can listen to what I have to go through from a MAN's mouth. lol.
Good luck. My DP sounds like yours, supportive but no idea. I saw that book and was going to buy it but I thought whats the point? It will be like all the other books he 'has to have' that sit on the book shelf unread!
My husband was the same and he only really "got it' (although it didnt' last long, he soon forgot) when I said it felt like I had the WORST hangover for 17 weeks straight, 24 hours a day. That put it in his terms! (even though he's not a huge drinker) but he understood then how awful it was. Maybe thinking of some things relative to him. Heartburn, hangover, tummy bug etc. I dont think they ever get the whole body changing thing though and it might be easier to think he wont get it but to get him involved. I had DH read up on reflexology and he gave me a foot massage each night (mind you he only did that with DD not DS.....ggggrrr) but it made him feel good to have found something that would help (he googled it and found the pressure point on the foot that would help my sore back...).
Good luck and hang in there. xo
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coping with your partner HELP
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