Is it co-sleeping making her do this now?

[Shanti]

Hi,

We've been co-sleeping ever since about 8mths due to DD's lack of sleep and her frequent night wakings therefore it's enabled me to get more rest as I'm not having to walk the halls all night long and getting out of bed 3-4 times is a killer! I love co-sleeping and have noticed an even stronger bond between us since we've been doing so, it's really nice having her so close to us all night long.....

However, the last few weeks she's been waking up even more and more through the night and sometimes hourly... just for a feed or a cuddle or whatever.... she's 10 months old and I'm finding I'm as tired as I was when she was a newborn...... (well, almost!)

My question, does co-sleeping make them wake up more often because they know we are right next to them???? She's getting her top teeth through, they're cutting through now so I know she needs that extra comfort and she's in pain but this has been going on for weeks and I'm just so tired. She's sometimes feeding 1-2hrly in the night and it's really draining me..... I KNOW she doesn't need to feed this often... its' just for comfort. I try patting her back to sleep, patting her tummy but she gets cross with me and just wants the boobie I don't mind feeding to sleep, I do this and I don't worry about creating habits or whatever I just do what works at the time....

We enjoy co-sleeping but would prefer to have her in her own cot but she will only sleep in her own cot for day sleeps and at the beginning of the night..... she ends up in with us at the first waking of the night.....

My DH slept in the other room last night just so he could get a straight 6hrs sleep..... I can't remember the last time I got to have that.... let alone 4hrs straight sleep
I know this is all part of parenting..... I'm just tired.

I thought co-sleeping was meant to make you less tired????

I just feel I don't get that 'break' you know of a night time...... she used to sleep alot better than this and I would feel i had a break at night even if it was just 4-5hrs you know?

*sigh* I think I just need some Mummy hugs and reassurance that soon DD will let me sleep longer than 2hrs.

[Barb Glare]

No. Co-leeping doesn't make them wake up more. It is hard, being a parent - and tiredness is part of the deal.
Can you go to bed topless so she can "self-serve"? - You might not even have to wake up.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

she will sweety. It wont last forever.

No, i dont think co-sleeping makes an ounce of difference. I would put it down to the teething or another developmental milestone (eg. crawling, walking etc) as DD always had a few crappy nights when she was learning something new.

Also.. mayb have a look at her solids diet.. has something changed? eg... u and her.

It has been abit warmer the past few weeks... so mayb u + Dh + hot weather + sweating etc may be bothering her.. in turn, making her hot which means shes will BF more.

HTH

[boomba]

Oh hunny this will pass...I still cant believe she is 10 months already!
Ds woke more around 10 months cause of teeth and learning ynew things...I hope you get some sleep soon my love xxx

[Lulu]

Hang in there hun

I don't think it's the co-sleeping but I think it bodes well that she will do the cot thing at least some of the time. You have that up your sleeve so to speak, so this will settle down and hopefully soon she will be in there longer and longer.

I feel your pain - matchsticks holding your eyes open hurts. So does the full body tiredness xoxoxo

[~Kaz~]

Sending you the biggest darl.

We do not co-sleep here - we tried it a few times but it wasn't for us - anyway, DS has been waking HEAPS more overnight the past 2-3 weeks and can take up to 3 hours to settle down and go to sleep in the first place some evenings. I am putting it down to the heat and possibly teeth and possibly seperation stuff starting to rear its head again. Its hard cause most of the mums in my group IRL are reporting their bubs are sleeping much longer stretches, and most are sleeping through 10-12 hours now I feel really jealous sometimes because I'm so tired and I'd love to get more straight sleep but a lot of them are formula feeding now or have done some form of CC (or both) to achieve the longer sleep periods. I am starting to get the 'let him CIO' advice, 'cause it worked for us' but last night it was cooler and he slept better and only woke twice.

Hang in there hun. I'm not sure my posting will help you but I wanted you to know you're not alone (sometimes I feel that way IRL). She'll get better, I bet once those top teeth are down you'll have a different bub and more sleep!

[Shanti]

No. Co-leeping doesn't make them wake up more. It is hard, being a parent - and tiredness is part of the deal.
Can you go to bed topless so she can "self-serve"? - You might not even have to wake up.

Thanks Barb... I haven't done that yet.... might try it tonight.... it has been hot enough lately to do it I guess.

Thanks everyone for the hugs, I needed them this morning when I woke.... I was feeling pretty worn out!! DH got a lovely 6hr block of sleep so I was feeling a bit jealous of him (I told him that too!) and I think the fact he was in a really happy mood, annoyed me because I was jealous!! haha even though I was happy he got sleep as he needs it too iykwim.... I had a choc muffin for breaky and that made it all better

Kaz - ikwym hun. I feel that way sometimes too in my mothers group most of the mum's seem to be getting good sleep at night and I wonder if they are CC or ignoring their bub's cries etc..... makes you wonder what they do to get all that good sleep though huh and the effect it has on their bub. I don't expect DD to be sleeping lots of hours in a row as she is only 10mths but now and then it would be awesome if she slept longer than say 2-3hrs in a row!!! Maybe 5hrs in a row?
Hope you and I get more rest soon ... xx

I know that all this feeding and comforting and co-sleeping we do of a night time is the best thing for our baby girl and that she will be the independent, confident and happy baby, child and adult into the future because of all the hardwork we are putting in now.
We do have some good nights but good night for us is waking 2-3 times LOL.....

We'll get there I guess.... I LOVE middle of the night cuddles and feeds, but some more sleep would be BRILLIANT too.

[fourthontheway]

Love to you xxx

Co-sleeping is meant to make you less tired, as you said, and when you think about the fact that you're not wandering the halls at night every time she wakes you might see that you are getting more rest at least, even though you're not sleeping as much as you would like to.

Keep going, even though you are tired, it will not last forever. One day this will all be over and you'll remember these days fondly (as you argue about pocket money rises and boyfriends)

[Jakabella]

Bella has been co-sleeping alot more too now Ren, she has been sick a few times of late and now molars so she is getting unsettled alot now and some nights its just easier to chuck her in the middle (well "place" not chuck!!) and we all go to sleep - well as much as I can when she is hogging the mattress!!

I really think its just a phase that they are going through with feeding AND all the developmental chnages that they are going through. Bella wakes once a night for a feed and she gets a bottle but I have also been trying just some water on hot nights and she will have a good drink and go right back to sleep.. so maybe its thirst not hunger? Dont get me wrong - if she says no to water then I give a bottle straight away - im not making her go with out!

I find also that DD gets quite warm between us and can make her wake more - so I put her up a bit more out of the way of the doona (yep we have air con in bedroom and doona) and she will snuggle in and go straight to sleep. In fact she will sleep 8 hrs + beteen DH & I - so if thats what we gotta dp to get some good shut eye then im not changing!!

Hope it gets better for all of us ASAP

hugs

Kate

[Fig]

It is so hard when you don't get enough sleep, especially when you think everyone else is getting lots of good sleep (which they probably aren't all the time). I started co-sleeping with my DD when she was 10 months old for the same reason. Was sick of getting out of bed. She is 2.5 now and is still a night waker, but now she gets out of her own bed in the middle of the night crawls into our bed, we don't even notice half the time.

It was a while ago now but I do remeber that in the inital stages of her co-sleeping she was a bit restless and wanted to play alot. I think I just told her it was night time / sleep time and to go back to sleep and just turned my back on her and went back to sleep. Eventually she got the picture that it was time to sleep. She did night wean around 11 months, which I think was because she was so much more relaxed about sleeping. i.e. she didn't need to wake up to demand a feed to get a cuddle, which she had to do when she was in her own cot. It didn't take too long for her to learn just go back to sleep after we brought her into the bed at first wake up.

I would say the biggest benefit to co-sleeping - apart from getting more sleep - is the bonding experience. Even now, when we have had a bad toddler day, it all gets forgotten with a cuddle in the middle of the night.

[Shanti]

Jakabella - at least you're getting sleep while co-sleeping tho! We're still not getting much and we are co-sleeping.....and DD's sleep isn't just a phase...she's been off her sleep since she turned 8mths!! we haven't had a good night in 3 mths I reckon...havent slept for longer than 3-4hrs in a row in ages..... i'm sooooo tired. It's been hard. thanks for your post though. I can't remember the last time DD slept 8hrs in a row!!but i dont expect her to, even if she just sleeps 5hrs in a row i'll be STOKED....like she used to!!!

We're looking at seeing a Cranial Osteopathy at this stage as I've read some brilliant things about them helping babies/toddlers sleep problems....had a posterior birth and quite often cranial osteopath's are great after the baby has experienced a posterior birth..... so we'll see how we go.
I just need more sleep because I can't keep going feeling this tired.... it can't be good for me!

[~Kaz~]

hun. That's a long time to go on only 2-4 hours max sleep at a time. I reckon we're about a month behind you so I feel your pain.

Please come back and post how you find the Cranial Osteopathy - I would be very interested to hear about it.

[Shanti]

Kaz, will do sorry to hear you are going through the same thing. It's not easy hey.

[Jakabella]

Hugs Ren! I really hope that the osteo will help you guys out! A freind of mine took her daughter to sleep school infact now I think about it a lot of mt friends have - and it was the best thing they ever did - and very gentle too no CIO or anything either - maybe worth looking into? even just some info on it?
Bella is getting 3 molars atm so big grumpy but has started sleeping through again for the last week - but still will not go to bed before 9.30 most nights - infact she is still up now! But sleeps in a bit.

I know this is a rough time for you guys and I hope it gets better for you all ASAP!!

Kate

[onthefly]

Shanti, DS was terrible from 8 to 11 months. Then that 6th little tooth popped through and we slept again. Do you have a teething necklace? we got one at 18 months and I only wish we'd gotten it 10 months earlier!
The constant waking and all-night feeding sounds just like DS at that age.
All the best~~