Settling 10 month olds to sleep

[lilspoonie]

Hi there,

Can anyone tell me at what age I should start to expect my twins to settle themselves to sleep - by that I mean just put them in their cots and they go to sleep. I am still doing the rocking, sshing, patting techniques at present. My MIL says they should be putting themselves to sleep at this age.

TIA,

Lilspoonie

[Heaven]

I think they will learn when they're ready.
Well I'm hoping anyway, I'm still rocking or feeding my 9.5 month old to sleep too.

[danita]

my DS self settled at 8 mths and has continued to do so, now hes 22 mths i changed his routine and gave clear sleep cues,
i read a book called save our sleep by tizzie hall= i followed the advice but not 100% it helped alot my DS sleeps through the night and i since changing his routine we have never been better,there is also a section in the book for multiples.
dunno if this will help you but it helped me

[Josephine]

Hi there, my little boy was able to self settle for nights at 8 weeks old (slept 12 hours) and during the day at around 3-4 months for naps. we follow Tracey Hogg's the baby whisperer techniques which teach you how to teach your child to self settle wihtout leaving them to cry it out, they also learn without the rocking, paci etc how to fall asleep. I also read the Tizzi Hall book and its too rigid for most babies, you need a flexible routine that suits your little ones.

[frisbeedogs]

Our son is 9 3/4 months and we too are still waiting for him to show a willingness to cooperate in going to sleep in his cot without us helping him get to sleep is our arms. It is starting to trouble us that we haven't yet reached this stage. Should we be concerned? We have two MILs that don't understand why we don't just place him in the cot to cry it out until he falls asleep, but we are ultra-reluctant to go down that road.

[Boo Boo]

well DS is now 13 months and I still rock him....if I put him in awake he gets himself into a state so I will still rock him until he is ready....I rocked DD until she was 18 months.....I know I probably shouldn't still be rocking him but.....sorry, I know I am not much help but just wanted to let you know you are not alone

[jackrose]

I think they will learn when they're ready.

I think this is one of the most true statements I have read with regard to babies and sleep! Actually, it's probably true with regards to babies and most things!!

There are so many variables and factors that come into play and so many differences in children that you can send yourself crazy comparing yourself and your LO to others. I wish I could say there was a magic stage where they fell asleep on their own but as you can see from the responses you have, this is just not the case.

In my situation, DD self settled beautifully for a long time then at about the 10 month mark it all fell apart and I had a terrible terrible time with her sleep patterns.

Still doing the rocking, sshing, patting techniques is perfect really at this stage. I guess my question is though, are you coping with this method? If you are, keep at it because it will pay off in the long run. If you are not as you are too tired/it's not working/you are going insane you could try something else. Some babies do learn to self settle by being attended to with the rocking and patting and some learn to self settle by other means... I am not really making much sense and feel like I am talking round in circles I guess I am saying - hang in there!

[Josephine]

the problem is that babies arent actually born knowing how to fall asleep, we need to teach them that. but with rocking/dummy/feeding to sleep you create a prop where they NEED that to fall asleep and will require that everytime they wake up to get back to sleep. If you teach them independant sleep (as we have done) they learn to fall asleep by themselves and transition through sleep cycles all the way through the night. like i said previously we follow Tracy Hogg;s techniques and I personally 100% garauntee them, if you are consistant and follo wit through then it works. For those that say it doesnt means they havent been consistant. I work wiht Mothers every single day dealing with sleep issues and I know these techniques work as I help Mothers teach their children to sleep independantly

[MummyNaomi]

Lilspoonie and Frisbeedogs - are YOU guys concerned with rocking your babies to sleep or is it the IL that have the concerns? Your comments seem to imply that could be the case...?

I just wanted to add that if as parents you dont mind rocking your baby to sleep, then keep doing it, as soon enough they will have 'outgrown' cuddles and be way too independent for your liking. If other people think you 'should' have children that self settle, then it's their problem, not yours.

I rock my son to sleep at night and for his two naps each day, rather than self settling for an hour or so while he winds down alone playing etc, in my arms he is asleep in minutes (therefore getting MORE quality sleep) AND I get to enjoy precious cuddles. Sure some days I wish I could just plonk him in the cot but I know that very soon I will miss this special time as they grow oh so quickly....

Just thought I'd put a different spin on things........ If you are happy to rock, cuddle etc, tell the ILs to bugger off hehehehehe

[Heaven]

the problem is that babies arent actually born knowing how to fall asleep, we need to teach them that.

I really don't agree with this sorry. Sleep is a fundamental human need, I don't see how we can be born not knowing how to do it. Babies often just need comfort for sleep and there's nothing wrong with that as long as mum and bub are both happy

[jackrose]

I agree with Heaven and Mummy Naomi

Babies often just need comfort for sleep and there's nothing wrong with that as long as mum and bub are both happy

I recently came across a great article which explains it better than I can.
A little bit of it:

I was recently asked by a new mother when her newborn would learn to soothe himself to sleep. This is a common question in our culture, but it would have been unthinkable until relatively recently in human history. For thousands of generations, babies were carried all day until they could crawl and all children slept next to their parents and siblings at night; their cries received a quick response, and their culture recognized their needs as natural and normal.

The article goes on to suggest some gentle things you can do to help encourage sleep time. I don't think I can post the link but if you google 'peaceful parenting soothe sleep' it should come up.

If you are not coping, this is a different thing though

[Marie (TSV)]

As a mother of six I wish I had the answer for you, but I don't sorry.

If you find out how to get the little buggers to not just sleep but to sleep all night please please let me know. I thought I had this techneque down pat, my first five all settled themselves and slept 7pm- 7am from 4 weeks old. Danny my youngest has more than made up for the sleepless nights. This Sunday (14/2) I will be celebrating 3 years of settling issues and waking everynight with an average of twice a night.

The only advice I can give you is sort it out now if you can, the longer you leave it the harder it will get!

[studymum]

It really just comes down to whether or not you are happy to still be doing it and what works for you, if you are then thats your decision and anyone who disagrees tell them that. Some babies will learn to settle on their own, other may need help to learn.

The are heaps of different techniques available to get babies to self-settle, just do some research, work out what one you feel comfortable with and give it a go. There will always been arguments for and against certain techniques and people quite often feel the need to attack other decisions, but ultimately it is your decision what to do.