Before I had children I used to look after myself fairly well. As in I used to use body scrubs and lotions, polish my nails and give myself pedi/manicures weekly, use facial masks and lotions, use (at home)hair treatments and colour my hair as soon as I noticed it started growing out, go to the hair dresser every 3ish mths, shave my legs/bikini/underarms twice a week....I used to look after how I looked. Took pride I guess, enjoyed doing this stuff for me.
Now I just don't. I don't bother with scrubbing my skin anymore, I just wash with soap and voila it's done! My hair...well I haven't been to a hairdresser for gosh I don't even remember! I don't do nail polish or even look after my nails any more. I cut them short so I don't need to worry. Lucky if I shave once a fortnight now. And my feet, ugh, my feet....they're horrible, no scouring off the yucky bits anymore. They're all rough and gross (it's a pet hate of mine, having yuck feet! You'd think it would inspire me to do it huh?). It's even to the point of not exercising or watching what I eat.
I think because I really don't like how I look after having kids physically I don't bother. But having yucky feet and unmanicured hands are making me feel yuck even more. The stretch marks and saggy skin from being pg will not go away, but taking pride in the things I can and making them look nice will help in making me feel better, right??? And damn, it it's time to get back to it and look after me!!!!
I have just gotten out of these habbits. With two kids 16mths apart, and who seem to have an allergy to sleep, it's hard to find the time. Plus the fact I can't afford some of these things (like regular hairdresser appointments). But alot of it can be done at home and I just don't because of the time factor. But now my kids are better at sleeping (kind of!) and they can entertain themselves a little, so I could put on a face mask for 5mins and wash it off and let them do their own thing for a bit. Or when they're in bed for the night I can colour my hair, do my nails, a pedicure for myself....
So what is it that you miss doing for yourself that you used to pre kidlets? What CAN you do for yourself that you should start doing again. Even just a small 5 min routine you used to do and can start again so you can feel a bit better in yourself??
This is what I've done with DS: introduce him to beauty care.
An almost three-year-old is capable of massaging my hand with a sugar scrub and then stroking moisturiser onto it afterwards. With a LOT of praise and me doing his hands too. (I just realised how much of a bad mother I am LMAO. Then I also think I could get him to do my feet too...)
I'm currently having some body hair lasered off just to save myself 10 minutes in the shower. Honestly, I just don't have the time to shave these days. I can make a 30-min laser appointment after work every 5-6 weeks though.
DS also likes dressing my hair. But that is NOT a good thing to encourage.
I'm getting an aerobics DVD after Christmas and DS and I will do it together - we currently dance to the TV so he can do aerobics with me. Keep him fit/get him worn out too.
Just think... wouldn't you love your husband to give you a foot massage and look after you? I'm ensuring I have a very fortunate DiL. See, I'm so selfless it hurts (until I remind DS to go gentle on the massage).
I also have a similar age gap in kids, and the only thing I miss now is getting my hair done more regularly - although when the colour does grow out it kinda blends so you can't tell. Thats more of a $$ thing while I'm on half pay maternity leave from work.
Otherwise I've picked up the ball in every other corner, come hell or high water I'll get an hour exercise session each day (I manage to get them to nap at the same time), and I eat healthy - if I'm eating well and exercising I feel great - which has a flow on effect as it has decreased my weight by 23kgs and minused 21cms around my waist.
Nails get done - refills every 3 wks, pedicure, um whenever DH is able to watch the kids, no huge priority for me in the scheme of things.
Once you start doing the little things that make you feel good, you'll glow from the inside out . Remember, if Mama ain't happy - ain't noboby happy!
I've just had my hair cut and coloured after 2 years....we had no money for butter but I couldn't hack it anymore, HA! I look fab and feel it too
One thing - if you have the scrubs and face/hair masks in the house you will manage to find time to use them. So when it's Xmas and birthday time tell people it's what you want.
I can find the time to use a face mask (highly recommended for awesome feeling), stick in on for 5 mins in the morning before you shower. The kids will kill themselves laughing at you but it's worth it.
I cannot bear icky feet either - little feet packs from the Body Shop don't cost much and you feel a million $$$ with smooth feet. In fact one little pumice type block and moisturiser is all you need.
Do that part before you go to bed.
It's amazing how 10 minutes a WEEK can make you feel better
Well I am into looking after myself as noone else will! I get my nails done & I get my toes done too! I go to the hair dresser regularly & I swap treatments with a friend. She gives me a massage & I give her a Reiki treatment.
You will feel better for it my love - go and make that appointment...
TBH I've always been a bit rubbish at grooming but decided now I'm hitting my 40s I should get my act together a bit more.
I now get my hair coloured fairly regularly and I think it's worth the expense because it makes me look and feel better.
Manis and pedis - well, still not together in that department except that I've vowed not to go out with chipped polish on show so if they're not looking good, I wear closed-toe shoes. I get them done properly when I go on a Girls Weekend Away so maybe three times a year.
At the moment, luxury is having a shower alone and getting dressed in peace without DD bouncing on the bed or DP bringing her to the bedroom and saying, "let's see what mama's doing." He's learning though that I'm much happier if he gives me that 10 minutes alone where I can actually think about what I want to wear and slap on some moisturiser or some slow-tanning lotion.
I fully accept my analness.... (Just thought I would clarify I am fully aware of this! )
I work out the night before what I will wear the next day - I do this for the kids too... So it's all ready to jump into.
I am a beads girl - and I always wear beads & or a scarf... I take 10 minutes to do my makeup and another 5 to do my hair... I just feel better, more done, I don't know. I just feel good if I do that for me.
I get my legs wzed and my underarms and I have done for about 25 years! So, they don't need doing very often - maybe once every 8 weeks... I get my eyebrows waxed too at the same time.
I know that I am a "routines" person & that's not for everyone. I just thought I'd share. I find that expecially if I get my stuff ready the night before it's easy and simple.
I've decided I'm bloddy well joining the gym & getting some bloddy exercise! I have missed it so much and DD is such a klingon that I'm desperate to chuck her in the creche for an hour a couple of times a week. She will survive, just not really enjoy it. But I will!!
Unfortunately, I can't afford to have things done by professionals at themoment. Maybe a haircut every 3ish months. But that would be it!
Lady Zaidie, I have introduced DD to manicures and pedicures. Unfortunately I am the one doing it for her at the moment, but I'm hoping in a few years my teaching her about it will all pay off for me, lol!!
Leesa, I would love to be able to afford a gym membership, or some yoga or pilates classes. Unfortunately we just can't. We have a wii fit, but it needs repairing. But I am going to use that once it is repaired. I will also start back with walking when DH has his days off work.
fionas, my DH used to do the same thing, bringing the kids into the room as soon as he heard the shower turn off. I went nuts at him one day that all I wanted was 15mins to shower and dress without hanger-on-ers. He gets it now and won't let DD open the bedroom door til I come out.
Innana, I owuld love to have a flair for beads and accessories, but I just don't feel that comfy in them for some reason, lol! Plus I work in early childhood and we are not really supposed to wear things like that becasue of safety I used to get waxed too. I miss being waxed, lol! But no $$ for it now! It can be so exxy to be well groomed!
I have been making an effort to do stuff for myself though. Last night I coloured my hair because my greys were coming through! I have been scrubbing my skin every few days in the shower, and moisturising like I used to. My skin is feeling better for it! I have given myself a manicure and pedicure on chrissy eve to show off my tootsies in my sparkly new thongs. I brought some of that slow fake tan cream to try. Hopefully it doesn't leave streaks or make me orange like most fake tans do! I can do alot of this myself, it just takes some time and effort. Doesn't feel or look quite as good as when I used to get it all professionally done, but hey, it's better than nothing!!
i look after myself by going to physio for clinical pilates once a week (for injury mostly) as well as seeing a personal trainer twice a week. I exfoliate once a week and use body butter that same day. I went through a phase where I was painting my toe nails weekly but just don't have time now! I'd like to get my hair done more regularly but just don't have the time! I'd also LOVE to get a facial monthly but my person is a good 90 min drive away!
I keep my legs and underarms hair free religiously (via razor and epilator). I cannot bear spiky legs or hairy armpits (and DS comments if he sees any hairs under my arms "Mummy you've got hairs").
I paint my toenails a neutral colour once every 3 weeks or so (so you'd have to look closely to see any chips). I will do a quick eyebrow pluck every now and again and the bikini line is probably best not spoken about right now.
I have a facial scrub in the shower which I might use once a week but I do look after my skin by cleansing, toning and moisturising once a day.
And that is IT. I haven't been to the hairdresser in 8 months...I used to go every six weeks. My waxing appointments were as regular as clockwork and now I NEVER go. It's killing me, especially the hair. I was never one for facials, manicures or pedicures except as the occasional treat.
It is mostly because we simply don't have the money at the moment but partly because I feel pregnant and frumpy and it's just gonna get worse before it gets better so there is a sense of feeling like I am pushing the proverbial uphill at the moment. DH has promised me that next month I can go the hairdresser...even he has noticed the greys appearing.
I have compensated by making sure I don't wear daggy clothes around the house, I'm always ready to go out. I put on a bit of makeup every day...just blush, mascara and clear lipgloss.
I do need to feel somewhat attractive, otherwise I will avoid contact with people and I also find it affects my mood and my parenting if I feel like a complete feral. Another reason I do it is because my mum was a really daggy mum and I do remember feeling a bit embarrassed that she never made any effort with her appearance and I want my kids to feel proud of their mum when she is around them. I remember admiring other mums who got their hair done and wore a bit of makeup.
Truthfully I am planning a big makeover when this baby is born. It's the last baby and as much as I feel sad about that...I want my body back. I am so looking forward to being able to lose the preggy weight for the last time and then just maintain it...get my ugly veins fixed, ditch the mismatched maternity underwear and preggy clothes.
And I have to say that if I feel unattractive I don't even want to DTD...so looking after myself has benefits for the entire family!!!
MG, thanks for bringing this thread up again! Remind me what I promised to do for myself I would love to be able to go to a physio or chiro or something similar to repair my back and core strength. But no spare money at the moment unfortunately. Gosh, the things I would love to do if only we had the moeny! I could sooo easily spend hundreds on myself each fortnight! Hair, waxing, massages, manicure, pedicure, gym membership/exercise classes, physio.........wow! Quite a list, lol!!
Curly, I used to be the same with hair. I had to get rid of it as soon as it was there, but now....well I can go weeks without shaving! Especially in winter. THough recently I have been doing it at least weekly, so maybe I'm getting my mojo back, lol! Being pg, someitmes makes it hard to be body proud. For me it does anyhow. When I'm pg, I just feel huge and frumpy and it does nothing for my urge to beautify myself! As much as I am awed by my body making a baby and I love how I look in clothes when pg, I just don't enjoy looking at my naked body whilst pg.
I'm not a huge user of makeup, I just never have the time to do it. Though again, lately I have been making time to try to get it done for work in particular. But my DH regularly tells me I don't need to use it, so I guess I don't have much incentive, lol! I usually only use it when going out somewhere a bit special. Same as being dressed at home. I'm not usually dressed at home. I like to wear comfy 'home' clothes. Though I'm not completely a dag, I do only wear (decent) trackies'shorts and tops/shirts at home. No jeans or anything for any longer than necessary in this house!
You do raise some good points though, in that you feel worse for not doing these things. I do too, and that's what inspired me to start a thread! I also feel bad about myself if I let things go for too long. And I don't like people looking at me, particularly DH, even though I know he really doesn't care too much, as long as I small good and I'm not absolutely feral, he's not a really fussy man! (Does that mean I'm a frumpy dag?? LOL!) My mum is also a bit of a dag. She wears her nighty's all dayat home, and wears tights and plain tshirts to the shops to do errands and stuff, and when she does make an effort she just looks so uncomfortable in nicer clothing and makeup. I think because she doesn't wear/use it so often, kwim??
I also used to wear matching underwear, when my boobies were a more 'normal' size. Meaning underwear wasn't costing me my whole wage! Now my boobs have grown unbelievably large, and since I am still pfing and wearing horrible maternity bras, I can't wait til I can get back into lovely matching underwear!
I am proud to say since I started this post I have had a pedicure, got a haircut, used my fake tan and scrubbed my skin fairly regularly! I've brought myself some pretty matching pj's with my chrissy money, and I'm planning on getting a massage in a week's time! I have also put going to the hairdressers onto my calander for 10wkly visits. So I am slowly on the way to becoming a newer version of the old me!! Yay
How do you 'look after' yourself?
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. Remember, if Mama ain't happy - ain't noboby happy!
He's learning though that I'm much happier if he gives me that 10 minutes alone where I can actually think about what I want to wear and slap on some moisturiser or some slow-tanning lotion.
I used to get waxed too. I miss being waxed, lol! But no $$ for it now! It can be so exxy to be well groomed!
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