Ok im looking on advice for a friend. His one of my close friends ive known him for 10 years. On the 18th he became a dad for the first time. So here's what he needs help with.
The basics are
The Mother broke up with him about a month ago.
Since bubs was born his seen her once ( in the hospoital)
She wont take his calls, will only talk to through txt message. Wont let him see his daughter. He calls her all the time, either she doesn't answer or gives him the busy tone. It was bubs first xmas yesterday and still she wont let him see his child.
I dont know how some people can do this. His done the right thing by her, when she broke it off she said she needed space wanted to concentrate on getting ready for bubs, fair enough he said and backed right off. She called him after bubs was born and that is the first and only time him or any of his family has seen the little one. Shes always claiming shes busy yet he knows all there friends have meet bubs. Mum also has another child his 5 i think, i have meet her but not her little boy, i realize shes just had a baby and needs rest but his making all the effort his willing to go to her, she wont respond to him at all wont make any day or time, for when he can see his daughter.
Ok so im after anyone who might no some info for his legal rights or just come info on what i can do to help him get through this. I personally think this is very wrong and maybe she just used him to get this baby and shes hoping if she ignores him he will go away. Shes been a single mum since before her little boy was born, gets with him falls pregnant in under 6 months, then breaks up with him weeks before baby is due. It just sounds suss to me.
He can go through tthe Family Court to have a parenting agreement put in place giving him regular contact with his child.
If bub was born on the 18th though.. that's only a week ago. Mum is probably still feeling all over the place emotionally. Personally I would give it a bit more time yet, I know it is hard for him but maybe another couple of weeks will see things change.
Also, remember you never know what has gone on between them as a couple. Sometimes relationships & people are very different depending on where you are standing
Ok so here's my opinion - If I were him I would keep trying, call etc but nothing else just yet. If it continues then in a couple of weeks he could let her know then that he fully intends to be part of his child's life, even if that means going through the court. It will be nicer if they can work it out between them. Maybe he just needs to let her know how serious he is about seeing bub.
Oh no! This happened to a friend of ours exactly the same thing! She banned him literally weeks before the birth and told him she didn't want any money etc from him and he could not see his son..... I am like you and can see it as being suss....
Anyway I think he needs to speak to a family law specialists to understand his rights - which of course he has. Has she put him as the father on the birth certificate????
I am sure someone with more experience or advice will pop in here and let you know what he can do
Thanks so far for replys and doing so so fast. Great advice so far everyone its helping me help my best mate through a hard time.
jasp - I understand what ur saying about it not being long ago but shes taken bubs to see all her friends but not her father, so i think thats one thing thats got him worried thats shes just trying to cut him out. As for not knowing whats going on i know pretty much everything, about the only thing i dont know is whats going on in her mind. I mean y txt the guy while his away seeing family and say dont bother coming back. He has let her know he wants to be in bubs life already, they where engaged and all before she broke it off.
Joeve - i dont understand how mothers can do such a thing, i have 2 children myself my oldest not being my partners and his dad isnt in his life but thats his choice not mine. His been told if he wants to see alex he can
Lulu - ill tell him about the Family Relationship Centre
Tell him to get independent legal advice as soon as practicable. If he qualifies for legal aid, get in there fast. Otherwise he can get a referral from his state Law Institute - I see you're in Victoria, it's the Law Institute of Victoria. They can put him onto someone in his area and usually get 30 mins free advice.
Need advice for a male friend....plz help
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