Donor Conception General Chatter #10

[onthefly]

This thread is for those who have, for various reasons, decided to utilise a donor to assist in their dream of having a child. It is also a place for those who are donors, are considering donating, or are in the process of donating.

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[~BecD~]

We had out donor coordinator appointment on Sunday where they took our details down, apparently there is a three month wait at concept for donors (after telling us there was no waiting list), so I guess we just wait to receive donor profiles now. We will be doing divf rather than diui as my pcos makes iui too difficult.

[stargazer]

Hi Bec,
good to hear you have been through the initial consult & can begin. Maybe there are alot of ppl starting diui/divf lately and so the stocks are low. I just completed another diui cycle with the usual result and am now moving on to ivf again. Not straight away - want to fit in a short holiday before we do this as it will be our last time.
I hope the wait doesnt end up being too long for you and that you enjoy a good break & squeeze in some quality time together before the madness all starts up again!

[MsPink]

Bec - 3mths is actually a really short waitlist...it will go so fast...

[hopeful.aussie]

Bec - I agree with MsPink the three months will go quick ...we had to wait for 3 months too. My 3 months are up and have been told that I will have to wait for a couple of weeks more as they're waiting on a recipient that's before me on the waiting list to select her donor.

[Lieve]

I agree 3 months goes fast when you look back, when you're right in it, it can drag and drag...

We're 3 months into our 6 month 'donor sperm' quarantine period, so yes the last 3 months have flown by, but the next 3 months feel like they're ages away

I have a question for those who have used a known donor and have had to wait the 6 months quarantine period. Our 6 months is up on May 11, how long is the wait between the expiry date and getting the all clear from the docs to use the donor sperm? I guess I ask because if I can, I want to already be underway with my cycle so I can try to coincide EPU with the release of our donor sperm...if you know what i mean... rather than getting the all clear and only then starting the cycle?

[blizz]

Hi all, was a time when we used to fly through these threads LOL, hope all are well in DC, I seriously don't have time to pop in much at all lately ( doesn't help that I'm ever so addicted to FB) We are still trucking along in Tassie, DS is the big 1 now and has started running everywhere and I am working 4 days a week in family day care which is great as I get to spend my time with my precious babies (mind you DD will be 4 in July and we have started the scary process of school shopping) Have been considering revisiting the idea of no#3 but I don't think it will happen at this point but we are more than happy with where we are.
We have 3 embies left in storage and we will wait a little while before we make a decision on their future.
just wanted to send best wishes to all for what ever stage of the DC journey you are on, will check in from time to make sure we are all OK , Blizz and the gang xxxx

[alioops]

Hi girls

I haven been in here in who knows how long. I am getting closer to the time to look for IPs. My cycle is on it's way back and we are nearly ready to make the final decision on whether our family is complete. I know there is no way i can donate while bf so pretty much when i finish bfing we will make our final decisions and step up the hunt.

[clare076]

Hi, I am just starting the process of being a donor. Waiting for the info pack to arrive from concepts and then on to decide whether to go down the known or unknown donor path. Just wondering of those people that are waiting to receive (or have received), what were your reasons for going unknown versus known ( vice versa)
tx

[provencein3]

I think the situation is a little different now. When I was tryign to conceive my daughter, anonymous meant exactly that so you never had an opportunity to find out any information about your daughter.

I believe going through a clinic with a central coordinator may make the process a little easier as they do all the liasing. But its perhaps a personal preference. There is always the possibility of doing your own advertising on forums and etc but have it coordinated via the clinic.

[on tra_k]

Hi everyone,
I thought I'd dip a toe in the water here. I'm just starting to gather info on being a donor recipient so that DH and I can decide if that's the way we want to go. I'm so amazed and humbled by the number of people who willingly donate for others to realise their dream.

My story is summarised in my signature. We have unexplained infertility - which fortunately developed AFTER our daughter was born!! We have a few borderline peripheral issues going on, but nothing to fully explain our infertility. We have done 2 PGS cycles which diagnosed 7/10 embryos with chromosomal abnormalities and 3 inconclusive ie. they couldn't see all the chromosomes to count them. The conclusion we've reached is that perhaps I just have dodgy "old" eggs and so we're wondering where to from here. We have a review with the chief Dr in May and will do another frozen transfer in the meantime. We're also wanting to know all about the donor process. Any advice from experienced donors/recipients would be wonderful.

[provencein3]

Hi Clare

sorry I just reread your post and you are going to donate as opposed to be a recipient.

As mentioned all donations now are ID release regardless of which state you are in, so the child has the right to find out details of the donor when they turn 18. There is another thread here about whether to tell the child or not. There is the issue of course that the recipients don't tell the child in which case, the child may no know they have the ability to access that information. Sorry I am aware of what happens in Qld, NSW and Vic but not sure of WA.

I am a recipient and again searching for either donor embryos, or an egg donor.

My daughter was conceived using an egg donor. At the time, donations through clinics were anonymous. I wanted her to have the opportunity to contact the donor should she so desire so went down the know donor path. However it is not necessarily my desire for the donor to have a huge role in the child's life. Obviously its a personal choice. I prefer to tell my daughter about her conception and then allow her to make the decision as to what she wants to do as opposed to making the choice for her. With a known donor that possibility can occur anytime during her life. With a clinic "anonymous" donation its generally after the age of 18 unless the donor and recipients elect to allow it to occur earlier. There are a lot of donors/recipients that go down the known donation path because they prefer for any resultant children to have contact with the donor throughout their life.

[~BecD~]

Just a quick update, we finally have some donor profiles to look at. We were emailed five profiles on Friday afternoon, and have shortlisted to three - but really we are trying to decide between two. More details in my blog (link in sig if interested). The main thing that we are tossing up is how much emphasis we should be placing on physical features of the donor. One is brown hair blue eyes like me, but the other is brown hair brown eyes and olive skin (although caucasian background). But everything on donor #2 is what we want. So if we are both fair, is olive skin an issue...
Not an issue for us I mean, but for the child themselves. Will that make them think they are more different or will it not matter for them? I know i can deal with anything myself, but i dont want to do something that could negatively impact our child as they grow up...
Such difficult decisions...

[sevie]

Hi, geez I'm pleased to read the posts on this thread. At the beginning of this year I was offered eggs from a friends friend. She's lovely. We've spoken many times now and met up 3 times, including for our 1st FS apt.She did her 1st counselling session yesterday and now has some concerns. I quietly feel so panicked and concerned. Our conversations are always so positive and warm but today's felt a little like I was being interviewed for my potential child's life. I know it sounds odd and dramatic, but all of a sudden it felt nerve-smashing! Anyone going through similar things?? I'm 36 (trying since 33), have had 4 stim cycles with ICSI, making 1 or 2 eggs each time, 1 preg (miss at 12wks, trisomy 18), I've prem menopause and hub has 98% abnorm sperm.

[Jaggles]

Hi,
A friend of mine has offered to donate. My partner had a vasectomy 15 years ago and I'm done with IVF (too many sad days).
My donor wants to do the DIY thing at home. I'm fine with that, but my problem is that I've read about different techniques (on my end) and they all differ a bit. Has anyone been successful with the 5ml syringe? Should my donor put his liquid gold into the syringe straight away? etc. If anyone could help me, that would be great. I hope I'm posting in the right area. I need details! or if a PM would be better, that would be wonderful too.

thanks everyone. Wouldn't it be nice to just be able to do it the old-fashioned way.
Jx

[blizz]

Hi all, have just popped in quickly and scanning trough the threads just wanted to say to BecD that so far the eye colour/ hair colour thing has made no difference to us thus far, as my fertility specialist put it to us "people look for similarities not differences" it has proven to be the case here many people comment on how much out 2 look like DH (he has a quiet chuckle to himself) so either people are not putting two and two together or are being polite either way we know the time will come as DD is now talking about her "gold hair and blue eyes" and mummy and daddy have brown eyes and brown hair, but we have always planned for this to be the case and are preparing ourselves to have gentle discussions as opportunity presents it's self so that it is a knowledge that our children grow up with, and will hopefully take away any power other people may have to hurt them how ever unintentional, hope this helps xxxx good luck with your decision

[~BecD~]

Hi all, have just popped in quickly and scanning trough the threads just wanted to say to BecD that so far the eye colour/ hair colour thing has made no difference to us thus far, as my fertility specialist put it to us "people look for similarities not differences" it has proven to be the case here many people comment on how much out 2 look like DH (he has a quiet chuckle to himself) so either people are not putting two and two together or are being polite either way we know the time will come as DD is now talking about her "gold hair and blue eyes" and mummy and daddy have brown eyes and brown hair, but we have always planned for this to be the case and are preparing ourselves to have gentle discussions as opportunity presents it's self so that it is a knowledge that our children grow up with, and will hopefully take away any power other people may have to hurt them how ever unintentional, hope this helps xxxx good luck with your decision

thanks for that blizz, always good to hear. We have decided to go ahead with that donor, and if it works we will deal with it as it comes.

jaggles - no experience with diy so sorry cant help. All I will say is make sure you protect yourself legally. I briefly considered diy but was scared off by all the complications that can arise.

[sevie]

Bec, I can't agree with you more. I think it's good not to battle with the "what if's" too much now...they'll come and you'll manage them later.
Blizz...I've just realised how much I've thought about your comment about people looking for similarities....it's so true...and great to read. Thanks so much for it, it gives me more confidence about the whole DIVF jazz!