5 Week old sleep issues

[stillhoping]

HI there, I think DD has days and night mixed up and I have been told I can't do anything about it and her body clock needs to adjust, but any advice would be appreciated.

She sleeps the day away and I have to wake her for feeds. I try and keep her up for a play but sometimes she is too tired and nothing I can do will wake her. She is unsettled late evening and can be up for 3ish hours with us trying to get her to sleep. She can then wake every 2-3 hours overnight. She can easily sleep 4 hours in the day, which I now don't let her do. I feed 3 hourly in the day in the hope she wakes less overnight, but nothing seems to be working.

We are trying a dummy, but she keeps spitting it out and it distracts her from sleep, but she wants it in the evening. She wont let herself drift off.

Sleep promotes sleep, but when is too much day sleep affecting night sleep????

[boomba]

its tough in those first weeks isnt....do you co sleep or have the bassinette next to you..this helped me immensley this time around i was getting so much more sleep, cause i couldjust roll over feed DS2 and still be kinda alseep. She is still os little try to give it time...most babies dont sleep through for a long time yet! Enjoy all those cuddles x

From memory that age was when they kinda realised they were out iykwim?
Sorry I cant be more help just remember this will pass! Good luck x

[stillhoping]

she used to be in the room with us, but she is too noisy, so we put her in the loungeroom at night. She has been up for 6 hours (apart from a 30min powernap) now! Surely that can't be normal.... She is so little, but I just want to be doing all the right things now, to get her settled quicker.

How does a dummy work? Do they just eventually learn to keep it in. She can only keep it in for about a minute, but then wants it back. Should I persist? She doesn't need it during the day, just the late evening for comfort.

Ps - she is bottle fed.

[Nelle]

If you're feeding regularly through the day, I'm not sure what else you can do apart from wait and let bub adjust.

Some things that might help are making sure the room is dark and quietish at nights (maybe some soft noise might help stop any sudden noises from startling her if that's the issue), and then during the daytime let it be a bit noisier and perhaps the room she naps in not quite so dark, to help bub figure out the difference between day and night?
Do you wrap bub for sleeping?

[SammyRo]

I second what Nelle said about making the difference between day and night. DD would sleep in the loungeroom, next to the window with curtains open during the day, and I made sure I didn't tiptoe around and just made the normal noise. At night, she went into her room in her cot, and it was dark and quiet. That way, she knew the difference. We did work out as a newborn, that we couldn't bathe DD within at least an hour of bedtime as she would then get really active again, rather than calming her down.

[stillhoping]

thanks for tips. We are making sure we distinguish between day and nights and I think she just needs to adjust in her own time and we have to realise this

We saw her pediatrician today and he basically said to just let her cry to sleep, but we can't do that and I don't think it would work either. I think he is old school. He said she doesn't have a memory yet so wont remember being left to cry, but then in the same sentence he said she would get used to be held to sleep - so go figure!

[onthefly]

Good grief at that doctor! She will remember it, not the specifics perhaps, but the distress and the helplessness will stay with her.
And yeah - way to go contradicting himself

Exposure to sunlight during the day is probably your best bet. And keep it dark and quiet at night. She'll figure it out eventually

[CinderToriella]

thanks for tips. We are making sure we distinguish between day and nights and I think she just needs to adjust in her own time and we have to realise this

We saw her pediatrician today and he basically said to just let her cry to sleep, but we can't do that and I don't think it would work either. I think he is old school. He said she doesn't have a memory yet so wont remember being left to cry, but then in the same sentence he said she would get used to be held to sleep - so go figure!

My mum told me the same thing' ''dont pick them up every time they cry etc,let them cry sometimes and dont go grab them''

but i dont thimk i could do that,they cry for a reason dont they? they are so young and i just couldnt let her just cry and not go to her

[onthefly]

Steel yourself Shell, you'll get a lot of that soon!
Try to give yourself time to get to know your baby and learn to trust your instincts. Do what seems to work best and try not to pay too much attention when people tell you you're doing the wrong thing (yes, some will unfortunately).

My mum started out telling me this whenever I went to DS. I found myself pausing... but I went anyway.
"Just leave him". "You'll have to let him cry eventually".
....
After a few weeks she finally said "I should just stop, shouldn't I?"
.....
After a few months, she said "This no-crying thing seems to work well, doesn't it?"

[christy]

I'd say she's just still used to being on the inside.... and often times the rocking of you moving around during the day is enough to rock them to sleep and when you lay down at night its up n' atom time in the belly. Surely it must take longer than a few weeks to get them regulated.... I would do as the others suggested and make daylight more obvious and sleeptime at night quieter. When you get up to feed, just do it quietly without lights etc, and gently rock back to sleep. I co-slept when they were little babes myself because I got more sleep that way, I found I was able to feed & fall back asleep and the baby would as well... when I moved them into a hammock or cot, they were much older and knew day from night.

its hard work in the first trimester earthside....

[MummyNaomi]

Doesn't sound like a sleep issue honey, sounds like your DD is perfectly normal

The lovely ladies above have given great advice, I just wanted to add that it was about 6-7 weeks I think that my DS seemed to work out night and day, we helped him along by feeding in low light and quiet at night, and gave lots of cuddles and rocking after a feed to encourage him back to sleep. During the day we had DS in a basinett wherever I was, and I just went about my day - lots of sunlight, vacumming etc.

Re the dummy - have you tried a different shape? There are so many out there, but you might find that your DD prefers a different shape or size and will keep it in more

Personally I dont think too much sleep during the day is too bad, especially at this age. Remember she's recently entered the world, gone through the birth process and is doing so much growing and adjusting to the outside world - I'd be tired too I tend to think if they are sleeping it's cos they need it, and definately yes, sleep promotes sleep, as my DS got older I realised that if he had good day sleeps and wasn't over tired, he slept much sounder at night.

Hang in there, I hope she starts to settle and sleep for you longer overnight, it must be hard with a toddler to look after, its not like you can sneak off for a sleep when DD sleeps

[stillhoping]

everytime I look at the title I think I should have worded it differently.

Had a good night last night. Looks like we have 2 bad nights and then 2 good nights.

We will hang in there and just deal with the fact she is unsettled for long periods in the late evening... she is a newborn after all!!!!

Thanks everyone

[miss.mestiza]

imo, that's quite normal and it's still very early. my 4 1/2 DD mo still wakes every 2 hours to be breastfed and hardly wants to sleep, now that's not normal. good luck

[GoingtobebiginAsia]

Hi Stillhoping. I am no expert, still trying to work out my little one.
But I think the main point is - every baby is different. It took me a long time to recover from the birth. The only way I survived those early weeks is because I asked DP to do the night feeds so I could sleep. I just couldn't stand to hear her cry so I never tested the theory that crying tires them out.
Poppy did eventually begin sleeping less during the day and longer during the night. Now she sleeps from about 9pm to 6am without a feed, and often goes back to sleep again until 9am. So there's hope!
I don't think there's any harm in the baby sleeping in the day, it's just the mum who needs the night sleeps. So do whatever you can to get through these early weeks. Things will change.

[stillhoping]

I'm happy to say ( and I hope this is not going to backfire) that DD is on track. Late evenings still hit and miss getting her to sleep, but all other times during the day she goes off by herself and has only been waking once overnight, even twice is fine and mostly settles quickly. I hope it continues. Now just have to get her older brother to stop waking more than her overnight

Also, we do not wake her for feeds even if she has had a 4 hour sleep and it is working much better than when we were waking her every 3 hours for feeds.

I think persistence and consistency has paid off for us.

Thanks for all your support

[Shanti]

That's great news. I hope she stays that way for you!! You'll be very lucky if she does! I remember my DD at that age.... as she approached milestones and different developmental stages her sleep would go right out the window!? So I learnt not to worry too much about the sleep thing. (although it's hard when you are tired!)
Even now.... DD is a frequent waker in the night but I guess all babies are different.