In planning Ianto's funeral, I've come across so many lovely songs and poems written about baby loss, or just loss in general, and I thought I'd share some and maybe see if others want to share? I'm also including a poem I wrote in the hospital about listening to the other babies on the ward crying...
This first one is the song we're playing in the middle of the funeral, I found it and every line is so true for our story...
Smallest, Wingless by Craig Cardiff
Dear son, we've been waiting for you
Thrilled beside ourselves that you've arrived
White coats came in, heads held low
Talked for a bit, shuffled outside
We closed the curtains,
Held each other,
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
And smallest wingless, oh you came to us
Leaving as soon as you'd arrived
But sadness is just love wasted
With no heart to place it inside
We closed the curtains,
Held each other,
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
We closed the curtains
Held on to one another
And cried
We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
This one's a poem that was in the front cover of one of the books they gave us in the hospital, I'm going to attempt to read it
All those months By Margaret Cordukes
Your little heart beating so strong
All those months
Is silent.
Your little arms and legs
Moving so vigorously
Are still.
Milk falling from your mother’s breasts
Will never nourish you.
Your eyes will never sparkle
Your little voice forever silent
Your mother holds you in her arms,
Timidly kisses your soft, smooth cheek
Caresses your tiny fingers
And whispers your name with tears
She dreams of holding you
Of watching you smile and grow
Her love is always with you
Though you will never know.
And this one's the one I wrote
In The Still
In the still of the night
A baby cries
Hurt.
In the still of the night
Another baby fusses
Upset.
In the still of my room
I ache for my baby.
Heartbroken.
In the still of my baby's heart
No life. No hurt. No upset. No heartbreak.
Born Still.
We used 'Hello, Goodbye' by Michael W Smith... It has the name Noah in it, so it was perfect for Noah's funeral... Every word in the song has meaning for us.
__________________________________________________ _____ ~Noah~-2006 (20w5d) 2007 (8w2d)
& 4 earth babies
I just found this thread..Those poems are just beautiful.. There are so many beautiful poems these we had at Taite and Seth's funeral:
What Makes a mother
I thought of you all, I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say,
"A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true."
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you?
"Yes you can!" He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice."
"Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
"I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say.."
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here."
"I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who has so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free."
"I miss My Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow's where I lay."
"I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
"So you see my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay."
"They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you."
"So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start."
"Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until there time is done
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one."
Too Soon
This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime
No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime
Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..
And these one's are some of my faves....
Missing my baby
(by Josie Teather-Lovejoy)
Missing my baby, So so much
Missing his smell, missing his touch
The pains still sharp, The pains still raw, Each day I miss a little more
I've missed him smile, I've missed him laugh, I've missed him splash in the bath.
I've missed him sit, I've missed him stand, I've missed him walk while hold my hand.
I'll never hear him say my name, I'll never watch him off to play.
I miss you darling every day and will do till my dying day.
I Am A Mother
I’ve loved my children right from the start
A feeling that’s filled my entire heart
I went through the labour and suffered the pain
For many long hours with nothing to gain
I’ve spent sleepless nights being awake
Though it’s my heart not my arms that ache
I’ve sat and I’ve wondered of how they would grow
The love of my family that they'd come to know
The sound of their voices as they learn to talk
Watching their steps as they try to walk
I have children that I really love so
I am their mother yet nobody knows
I spent all those months feeling them grow
I’ve lived through it all and have nothing to show
I don’t get invited to chat with young mothers
Because I don’t have a baby like all of the others
I’ve got some stretch marks that I’d like to hide
But I don’t have a pram with a baby inside
The people I’ve known for so many years
They now avoid me, which adds to my tears
I don’t know how long I’ll be feeling like this
But one thing I know my baby I miss
When Mothers Day comes it will be very hard
I won’t have any flowers – not even a card
And just because they're not here with me
I still have babies I wish I could see
But one thing I know and this is for sure
I’ll be their mother for evermore
I lost my child today
I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief. I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die. I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people, who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
to bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long. I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
" She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.
Still with you ( Read by my best friend at Taite and Seth's funeral)
I am gone, not by your side, or so I've heard you say
but I am with you more than you know, each and every day
I am there each morning, as you rise to the morning you dread,
I am nestled up beside you each niht when you go to bed
I watch while you are sleeping or lying there awake,
I'm with you when you ask 'How much more can I take?'
I watch with love each time I see you wipe the tears away
I will always be here for the one who thinks of me each day
I see you smile seldon, which is just a way to hide,
know the deep exhausting pain that you feel inside.
I watch you gather all my things to keep the memories alive,
I also know it's the only thing that helps you to survive.
I wish you knew that I was there and I know the pain you feel
I know you have a broken heart that time will never heal.
Just know that I am with you... We really aren't apart
I'm in every breath you take... Nestled in your heart
There are so many more that I love... Sorry for the long post.. Take Care TeniBear, my heart just aches for you at this horrible time... Lots of hugs..
blessed, those are all lovely - I've come across that first one a few times in the past few weeks, but the others were new to me. How true they all are. I may share those on my blog even if it's just so I don't lose them...
Hi Teni, I've just come across this thread. I thought I would add a couple that I have saved;
I have not turned my back on you
I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.
I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.
She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.
~Authour Unknown
I Thought of You Today
I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too,
I think of you in silence I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part
God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart.
Little Snowdrop
The world may never notice If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms, Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way For all eternity.
The little one we long for Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty, Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts Says that we love you.
Author Unknown
A Father's Grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too
Ask My Mom How She Is
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am Here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"
This song is probably more about remembering and reflection than loss as such. I thought I would put it in here because it is a really beautiful song to listen to and in case anyone was after this kind of thing.
Like an Eagle
Now is the time
To follow the wind
To walk alone
And a star will show the way
Above the clouds
Beyond the sea
And now is the time
And now and farewell
And as we part
You taught me well
You gave me strength
You showed the way
I'll not forget you
Like an eagle I will soar above the clouds
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
And all alone
I will follow the stars above
As my guide
As my guide
I trust in you
To show the way to me
Beyond the sea
And now is the time
And now and farewell
And as we part
You taught me well
You gave me strength
You showed the way
I'll not forget you
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
Alone, I can fly with the eagle to the mountain high
Race with the eagle so far beyond my dreams
Like an eagle I will fly
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will soar above the clouds
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
Like and eagle I will race above the stars
Like an eagle I will fly
Like an eagle I will fly
I'm gonna fly the highest mountain
(Fly)
Fly above the clouds
Like an eagle I will fly
This is just a song that always makes me cry & think of Noah.
Come Back - Pearl Jam If I keep holding out
Will the light shine through
Under this broken roof
It's only rain that I feel
I've been wishing out the days
Ohh ohh oh come back
I have been planning out
All that I'd say to you
Since you slipped away
Know that I still remain true
I've been wishing out the days
Please say that if you hadn't gone now
I wouldnt have lost you another way
From wherever you are
Ohhhh ohh ohh oh oh come back
And these days they linger on
And in the night I've been waiting for
The real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams
I go to sleep
If I dont fall apart, Will my memory stay clear
So you had to go, And I had to remain here
But the strangest thing today
So far away and yet you feel so close
And I'm not gonna question any other way
There must be an open door
For you uhh uhh uhh.... To come back
And the days they linger on
And every night when I'm waiting for
The real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams
Sometimes you're there and you're talking back to me
Come the morning I can swear that you're next to me
And it's okayyyyyy
It's ok...it's ok
Ohhh I need you....come back, come back
Ahhhhh I need you come back, come back
Ohhhh I need you come back, come back
Whoooo whooo whooo whoo (x4)
Last edited by Lisa; August 1st, 2010 at 09:55 PM.
: Forgot to write who the song is by
Annie Lennox (singer with Eurythmics) had a stillborn son, Daniel, in 1988. This song was written for him:
Angel
Underneath this canopy of snow
Where fifty-seven winters
Took their toll
Where did you go?
And I believed in you
I believed in you
Like Elvis Presley singing psalms on a Sunday
Where did you go?
Well she's gone to meet her maker
Back to where she came from
Come to save her soul
Come to save her soul
Come to take her home
'Cause it's late and past your bedtime
Well past bedtime
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
She took her life within her hands
She took her life within her own two hands
And no one can tell her
What to do now
And I believed in you
I believed in you
Like Elvis Presley singing live from Las Vegas
Where did you go?
Well she's gone to meet her maker
Back to where she came from
Come to save her soul
Come to save her soul
Come to take her home
'Cause it's late and past your bedtime
Well past bedtime
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
Close your eyes
Go to sleep
Forever in my heart
I'll keep you safe, forever
I'll keep you safe
Angel, my angel
Angel, my angel
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
Angel, my angel
Fly over me, angel
Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
i suppose we all do our own searching for songs and poems.....in fact I spent most of HB's pregnancy preparing for her funeral. Even though I got a happy ending this time, I still search. Here are a couple of songs that have caught my attention lately.
i am not a country fan but diamond rio did a song called one more day. it's very compelling.
i am not particularly religious either but mark schulz did a song i want to show her what it means to be loved, it has a happy ending but the first few stanzas are just stopped me in my tracks.
enya has a song called if i could be where you are... here are the lyrics
"If I Could Be Where You Are"
Lyrics written by Roma Ryan
---
Where are you this moment
Only in my dreams
You're missing, but you're always
a heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you.
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching,
I keep hoping,
but time keeps us apart.
[chorus]
Is there a way I can find you?
Is there a sign I should know?
Is there a road I could follow,
to bring you back home?
Winter lies before me,
Now you're so far away
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light tore, you will stay
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
[chorus]
Is there a way I can find you?
Is there a sign I should know?
Is there a road I could follow,
to bring you back home?
To me...
If you're into classical music/ chanting there is a very moving composition called Miserere Mei Deus, or often shortened to Allegri Miserere.
Annie Lennox's "Into the West" is also touching.
Another musical piece is Evenstar from The Two Towers/ LOTR trilogy.
As is Now We Are Free, from Gladiator, performed by Lisa Gerrard.
not posted on BB forums for ages but I literally just heard this song on the radio and wanted to share it with you. It's so beautiful and expresses a Daddy's uncomprehending grief with such dignity and gentleness. It sent a tingle down my spine and a tear down my cheek. check it out on you-tube. Ed Sheeran - Small Bump Lyrics - YouTube
"Small Bump" by Ed Sheeran
[Verse 1:]
You were just a Small Bump unborn, Four months then brought to life,
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your Mother's eyes,
I'll hold your body in my hands be as gentle as I can, and now you're scan of my unmade plans,
Small bump in four months, you'll open your eyes.
[Bridge:]
I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,
If your not inside me, I'll put my future in you
[Chorus:]
Cause you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
[Verse 2:]
Your just a small bump unknown and you'll grow into your skin.
With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.
(Oh) Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice.
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide a small bump, in Four months you'll open your eyes.
[Bridge:]
I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,
If your not inside me, I'll put my future in you
[Chorus:]
Cause you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
[Verse 3:]
You can lie with me, with your tiny feet when your half asleep, I'll leave you be.
Right in front of me for a couple weeks.
So I can keep you safe.
[Chorus:]
Cause you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you'll be alright.
[Verse 4:]
Your just a small bump unborn just four months then torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there but we're still un-aware as why.
This song is one of the rarer one's that more relates to miscarriage. I first heard it when I had my first miscarriage and it stills brings me to tears 6 years later.
My Name
Written by George Canyon and Gordie Sampson
It’s cold in here feels like everything’s upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barley make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
I’m gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paint my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, because only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Haven’t learned any fear any pain
It’s kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess they’ve got me, to blame
And they don’t even know my name
And they don’t even know my name
Well I’ve never felt so ready, think it’s finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and it’s mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said don’t worry, your mommas gonna be alright
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right, here till it’s your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
But they loved me just the same
And they never even knew name
Didn’t even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didn’t even know my name
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Songs/Poems about loss
~Noah~-2006 (20w5d)
even if it's just so I don't lose them...
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