Choosing A School: Anyone Else Think This Is Dumb?

[fionas]

Normally, this is a situation I would keep a close eye on but DSD being in my bad books and having a lot on my plate generally has meant that I didn't really track the situation.

So.

We're moving to Woodend in a couple of months. DSD is in Year 11. Initially she was talking about commuting from Woodend to Melbourne to continue going to her current school. We didn't think this was a great idea BUT DP told her that ultimately it is her decision. Her Melbourne school is a good school (65% of its students go to uni, not including TAFE) but despite this she failed all her subjects in her last report.

Anyhow, DP's basic message was it's your decision. We think you should just go to the closest high school - he knows people who've taught there and it's fine.

DSD then said she was organising with her aunty to go up and have a look and we thought - great! Finally, showing some initiative and interest in her schooling.

Two days ago we find out that she's arranged (with her aunty's knowledge) to visit the local independent Catholic school and a private school. When DP said that the decision was hers, he meant the choice of local government schools (there's three) not ANY school. Obviously this did not occur to her - that's OK, 16-year-olds are allowed to have a brain lapse.

So WIcked Stepmother here was left to tell her that we're not paying for private school. It's not that we can't afford it, we can (I didn't tell her that) but I don't believe in paying for kids' education when they can't be bothered turning up to classes, handing in homework or doing the basics. It would be a different story if she was putting in genuine effort but she's not and she's admitted that there's no big issues, she just got lazy last year.

Now, that leaves us with what did SIL (DSD's aunty) think that she was doing? DSD doesn't go to private school currently - you would think that her aunty would check with one of us that we were happy for her to go and have a look, wouldn't you?

Anyhow, aunty's view is that there's no harm having a look. My view (which I explained to her last night) is that it's a COMPLETE waste of time having a look. I just find it farcical. DSD is not Catholic and infact DP is a rampant atheist. DSD knows nothing about Catholic values, the bible etc. and honestly, I can't see them accepting her. Why would they? And with DSD's atrocious report I can't see any private school wanting her. And even if they did, DP and I have agreed that to pay for private school would be lunacy in this situation.

Anyway, SIL seems to be living in cloud cuckoo land. She said they'd let their kids look at all options and when they came home and said that they liked the local private school, they told them that the reality was they were on one income and couldn't afford it? See, I just don't get that mentality. Why dangle the option in front of someone and then say oh, but no, you can't do that. That would be like DP coming home and saying to me "would you like to go to The Flower Drum tonight or Maccas?" then turning around and saying it has to be Maccas.

OK, rant over. Just don't get the logic.

[didispunk]

I totally agree!!!

I would be one unhappy STEPMUMMY...

A school is a school... good and bad everywhere..
If she is going to be a doctor she is going to be a doctor regardless of weather she goes to Private or Public... if she is going to be a Cabinet maker then she will be just that.

Schools dont make a kid into something they are not.

COMING FROM A family of 5 teachers!! Both in private and public teaching.

[~clover~]

Have you talked to your DSD about it? I would just forget SIL & ask DSD why she wants to go to these schools. Being Catholic won't have a huge impact on weather she'll be accepted or not, but her previous behaviour will.
Tell her all that. Tell her that they won't accept her if she doesn't pull her weight. She has to be up to their standards or she'll end up in one of the government schools anyway.
Maybe she wants to be somewhere where they'll be stricter with her & push her to push herself? Maybe its just about trying to look good.
I'd be finding all this out from DSD before you go any further & explaining to her all your reasons for not thinking its a great idea.

[Turkish Delight]

I wouldn't have it. DSD given her bad reports IMO should not go to a private school whether you can afford it or not. If she had some talent in something and the school offered expertise and/or extra classes in that talent, then may be i'd consider.

If her aunty wants to pay for it though, why not!

[Tinks]

If her aunty wants to pay for it though, why not!

That was my first thought as well.

Given her bad reports I wouldn't be paying for her to go to a private school either.

[fionas]

Well, it seems my rant to SIL last night has done the job. Sanity seems to have prevailed - they're on their way back now and it appears that they've only been to see the government school.

Thanks everyone.

We've already explained our reasons to DSD but if the subject comes up again, we'll just say that life is about choices and if she chooses not to make an effort at school then we choose not to pay for her education. We have also told her, however, that the option will/would be on the table if she was making 100% effort and had valid reasons for wanting to switch. Can't see it happening personally.