Is there a polite way to do this?

[allycat06]

I appreciate that people love to give DS gifts but I really can't stand all the plastic toys he gets! Now that he's older this is mainly what people give him rather than clothes and soft toys and our house is filled with colourful, plastic crap which I feel guilty about giving away as they were gifts. I'd much prefer that he had a few nice wooden (or any other natural material) toys and a stack of nice books than a whole bunch of rubbish! Most of the time he's content banging on a pot with a wooden spoon or rolling some tin cans around the floor anyway...

Anyway my question is.....Is there a polite way to go about asking people to refrain from giving DS plastic toys? My immediate family know my stance on this but I don't know how to go about telling others my feelings. It's DS's 1st b'day soon so obviously he is going to get spoilt rotten but I'd much rather they come with no gift at all than something so bad for the enviroment and full of hideous chemicals. It feels rude to invite people to a party and then say please only bring presents made of such and such. What do I do?!

[Matryoshka]

I hope this doesn't come accross as rude, i mean it in the nicest way, but i think just let people give what they want as it is a gift from the heart after all....

A few years ago when i had ds1 i was very in to natural parenting, i only wanted him to have wooden toys, nothing character themed etc. But over time i realised that plastic toys aren't so bad, in fact he loved some of them. I've also bought some wooden toys that are just as poor quality as some plastic toys... so its not so much what its made of but the quality and theme of the gift. There are some great educational toys made from plastic out there that are colourful and durable.

DS1 is almost 4 now and instead of putting my values on to him, i've let him lead the way as to what he likes to play with. Once i never would have let him where a "ben 10 tshirt" rather i preferred neutral hemp fabrics But now i realise he's only a kid for a short time, as long as a product is safe and suits a purpose then i'm okay with it. I'll guide him in making smart choices (ie, that toys is pretty flimsy, this one will last longer) but ulitmately giving him the power to make a choice of what to play with is a good life skill.

I'd say let people give what they want, put the plastic toys on a higher shelf if you prefer, but if your baby asks for them i'd give them... variance in touch and texture is a good experience

[Party-of-five]

Maybe you could say something on the invite about how you want a lasting personal gift and are building a collection of books to share with DS then they could put a inscription in the cover and it would make for a special thought when your reading with DS.

[Lulu]

I had this problem recently with DD. I sorted it by not having a party lots of reasons though.

I WAS going to put a tiny note in the invite stating DD just loves doing artwork and painting etc so things like construction paper etc would be very much appreciated.

Yes I hate plastic...but I have to say plastic stuff taken care of can still last a long time and be passed on from child to child...but sheesh we still have enough with me pleading NO MORE.

xoxoxo GL xoxoxo

[allycat06]

Thanks for the advice Matryoshka you're right, I need to get of my greenie high horse

I agree there are definitely some great plastic toys out there, DS has a few that he loves and I don't mind him playing with them.....I think the ones that bother me mostly are all the little nick knacks like teething toys he seems to acquire. I guess I feel bad when someone has taken the time to buy him a present that he isn't the slightest bit interested in...especially when they say 'ooo does he like what I got him?'

I am very conscious of the whole character themed thing now he's little and doesn't know a winnie the pooh from an iggle piggle...but when he's older it's definitely right to let them make their own decisions.

I guess if someone asks, I'll tell them what he likes and take it from there. Maybe he can have a new saucepan to bang on...that way mama wins too

[Matryoshka]

Thanks for the advice Matryoshka you're right, I need to get of my greenie high horse

Nah its a good horse to be on, i just don't ride mine as much anymore

I think if people ask, by all means tell them! you could even suggest online stores that sell all wood toys (theres one fantastic one, dunno if i can mention it?)

With the wood vs plastic, its strange... i bought what i thought was a beautiful well made simple wooden trike (its classic and the kind of thing that would last several kids), but you know what? both my boys preferred the cheapo plasticy ride on things that others gave us, they've been left out in the rain, gotten filthy (i clean them though) but they still prefer these over the wooden trike! I guess thats why i say its good to give some options!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I detest character stuff, so Mum and Sis buy DS loads of that crap. SiL does a bit too. I just have to grin and bear it, as DS loves it. I do make sure they stay hidden from public view in DS's bedroom as much as possible though!

I don't do big parties, and if people want to know what DS likes I tell them he likes Brio, Duplo (the best plastic toy!)... stuff we already have, but they can add to. That way it takes up a bit less room. I also say we have no money so clothes are a great option; just plain clothes with no characters. (We now have characters on PJs, undies and socks... and I still hate them!)

I used to have wooden toys in the living room and plastic in the bedroom - but then realised DS loved some of those plastic ones, so I mix them up a bit now. We have a plastic toolbench in the sitting room and the wooden ones in his room: he adores the plastic one with the battery-powered drill. Can't win them all! Just have to be wooden-only and no characters for my grandchildren.

[Fleur]

I don't think there's anything wrong with putting a note in the invitation saying something along the lines of 'DD has loads of toys and would really like ...' I wouldn't be offended by that?

[Tinks]

Maybe you should put 'No Presents' on the invite. Or word your mum up to ring the people she knows and ask for money to be put towards a group gift.

[beckoes]

maybe a good way around it is requesting book or have a boo themed party and note that as its a book theme and if people want to bring a book they could bring one that means something to them....no plastic stuff and a whole heap of awsome book that mean something to you friends and family. i agree that im not too keen on all the plastic stuff but DD has a few plastic toy she really loves, and plastic shopping trolly thats i think is her fav toy atm!!! so they arnt all bad!!

[Visitor8]

he probably WILL be interested in it over time. There hasn't been one thing enter this house that the boys haven't played with at some time

Also plastic toys aren't always crappy I have a LOT of fisher price toys. Almost all of them have gone through 4 kids over the last 6 years and are still going strong!!

[beetle]

I really like the book-theme idea and think you should put it on the invite. You can never have too many books.