I am going to feel awful! Two cousins getting married this year. One just invites us to a Friday night party on the same invite as my parents and sister. I say no: 250 miles away, day off work, leave early to put Liebs to bed as our potential babysitters are at the party.
Now another invite, a full wedding invite, 250 miles away, no children. Again, all potential babysitters at wedding and can't leave Liebs at home as PiL won't have him nights or mornings. Is it OK not to go or am I just being awkward?
I don't think you're being awkward at all. It's difficult when you have little ones and they can't go and your entire support network is going. We had people not come to our wedding because we didn't invite the kids and I was totally fine with it, and that was even before we had our own baby. FWIW it upset me that we didn't invite the kids - the reception place was charging us full adult prices for all kids over 2 and we just couldn't stretch that far. I'm sure your cousins will understand.
Don't feel too bad. If you can't go, you can't go. Just send a profuse and gracious apology with your best wishes for the day and maybe a gift like a voucher or something more personal if you're not lazy like me.
Thanks ladies. I know my mother will offer her lovely friends as babysitters, but Liebs doesn't know them and I fear I am being a bit precious when I put that to her. I don't feel guilty about the first party as it isn't even the wedding we're invited to, but the second one I do. I wanted to go to that one - wanted to get a new dress, DS a new suit, spend £100 on fuel for the car to attend, enjoy my cousin's special day with her.
I know my other cousin with children will go, as her PiL will have her two all weekend no problems, but it will just be 24 hours because they live close by. Which makes me feel that I'm using Liebs as a poor excuse, as another cousin with two children can attend.
Ah well. They know how far away I live - so far away they don't visit. They know it's several hours in the car to get up there. And then to have to leave Liebling behind too... if he could go, I'd say yes. But DH just said "no children, we can't do it." And that's how I felt. But now I feel guilty because I do want to go! I went to other weddings and left early because of Liebling's bedtime, but to leave him just after lunch and him not know the babysitter. He'd probably be fine. But I only get weekends with him and it's an expensive weekend to leave him behind.
Thanks for validating me though - it's really appreciated.
You are not using L as a poor excuse at all. You have boundaries and limits with him that you are comfortable with. Only you know what will work for you. If that means not leaving him, then so be it. Don't feel bad, he is little and it wont be too long before he doesn't rely on you as much and then i bet you'll wish he did.
Wedding Attendance
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