Weighing up Vasectomy vs Tubal Ligation - Anything I'm missing?

[Snacks]

DH and I have finished our family. I am getting sick of condoms and I hate hormonal contraception. Now that Phoebe is 1 we are looking into sterilisation.
I am heavily leaning towards vasectomy, but I am not sure if I am being selfish in sending DH off without fully considering getting done myself. DH has said he is happy either way but I would like for us to discuss it extensively before we make a decision.

My reasons for leaning toward the big V are:
1. We want permanent contraception, however if by chance we ever did want another child V is more easily reversed than TL. (?)
2. It seems a whole lot less invasive (all bits are on the outside of the body rather than inside).
3. It is cheaper.
4. The mortality rates are aparently less - 0.1:1 000 000 against 4:1 000 000 (?I think. Can't remember where I read that one, LOL!)

Reasons for going the other way:
1. He will be fertile for longer than me, so he has more to lose by becoming sterilised (this was my GP's argument... Not sure how I feel about this one!)

And... that's all I've got! PMSL! Does anyone have any thoughts that might help me balance this in my mind before I discuss it all with DH?
TIA for your thoughts.

[feeb]

Quicker recovery for male
Doesn't always need to be under GA
You have been thru enought having kids!!!!!!

[Nai]

You will have to undergo a major operation and be under a GA. It will take a lot longer for you to recover and you have a greater chance of the tubes growing back! He will be able to have it done under a local and be able to be back at work the next day. (Note: He will probably whinge a great deal more than you would though so it is something to consider )

Also (I am assuming) that you have been responsible for the contraception for most of your relationship and you have had to give birth, breastfeed etc. He is now offering to be responsible for something - let him If he feels that he is done with fathering then I would let him make that decision. My DP has had it done and it was really no big deal, he has had no issues and he is really glad that he has had it done.

[MrsFabuloso]

Hun, I think just those reasons you have listed are enough to go with a vasectomy over TL.
And I am also of the opinion that your body has been through so much with pg, birth and bf'ing and (in my case anyway), contraception prior to children for many years, that I think its fair enough that the man go through one fairly simple procedure for your family!!

[Trillian]

When we were making the decision about which one of us would do it, we decided that DH would have it done as it was only done as a day surgery, was very quick (as soon as they wheeled him into surgery I went down the street for a cuppa and was gone for about 1.5hrs and by the time I got back he was sitting up and eating) and the recovery time would be shorter. For me to have it done it would have been a few days in hospital and a longer recovery time, which DH would have needed time off work for, which he needed anyway for his op, but it would have been more time for my op.

[Roryrory]

Is there anything in the hormonal affects a V have on men? I seem to remember my MIL said something about lowering testosterone, which can lead to all sorts of problems? We will be facing the same question soon.

[~*Niadalla*~]

My husband suggested he have it done. We've been told by our GP's that he would not be referred to anyone because we are both too young (and we have no idea how this all works).
He will be going in to get done ASAP though... I've had enough pregnancy scares since having DD and when I thought I was UTD again it wasn't a happy feeling, so I know for sure we are done.

[Party-of-five]

My DH had a vasectomy a few months ago, He had it done on a friday and was back at work on the monday. He choose to have the V because I'd had the babies

[Nai]

Rory, there is no evidence that a vasectomy reduces a the blood testosterone level so there should be no issues with that. The studies show that any erectile dysfunction or decrease in desire is psychological and responds to counselling.

[deletedit]

My husband suggested he have it done. We've been told by our GP's that he would not be referred to anyone because we are both too young (and we have no idea how this all works).

How old are you? We'd like the other half to get done, he's 30. Is there a magic age where you stop being "too young"?

[Tinks]

DH and I were in our mid 20's when we were considered too young for both V and TL. The dr eventually agreed to refer DH when he was 27 after we had an unplanned pregnancy. He didn't have it done until 2 years ago though.

The reason we went for V over TL was purely because Vasectomies are much easier than TL.

[~clover~]

DH's boss had a vasectomy done a few years ago & he was the one who told DH he was better off being the one to have it done.
He said he was back at work the next day & it was only day surgery, where as tubes are a night in hospital from memory. MIL had it done & she was pretty sore for a few days.
Also MIL ended up with a DVT after hers. Not sure if it was the surgery, but we don't want to risk it.
I'll be asking that if I end up with a c/s (which I dread being the case!) then I'd like them to do me while they are there. There's no way I could find the time to do it any other way.
DH reckons he'll have a V done around the time I'm due so we can 'heal' together He hasn't looked any further into it though, lol.

ETA - I've heard that in general they prefer you to either be over about 24, or have 4 kids before they'll do either. Not 100%, that may've only been one doctors oppinion, but friends of ours now have 5 after going to ask about it after the 3rd, lol.

[mbear]

ive heard AF is a lot heavier/gruesome with TL....a mum at school has said. Thats enough for me to push the V......

[Life is Good]

Wow, a really interesting thread and something that we will be considering after we have our next bub. Just a quick comment on the possibility of having TL if and when you are having a CS:

My SIL asked for that (she was having her fourth at the time) and the doctor refused simply because he felt it was too risky doing it when bubs is so young and may not "make it". Apparently they feel more comfortable performing the procedure when your baby is older and out of the SIDs and young high-risk age group. His rationale was that if anything happened to the baby, many couples would want to go back a try for another. SIL still maintained that even if she lost her little girl she would not try for another baby. He still wasn't prepared to budge. Perhaps not of particular help to the OP, but just thought I would add this in as it is somewhat related to the topic and may be worth bearing in mind.

[Snacks]

Wow, thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I'm much more comfortable with the way I'm leaning atm then.
Nai: Was it you who posted your DH's journal on his V? I am planning on showing that to DH.
Trill: I think depending on the type of TL you have it can be done as day surgery now, but it depends. Laparotomy requires a couple of nights in hospital but there's no way I'd undergo that. I would want laparoscopy. It's still more invasive than a V though.
Rory: As Nai said, I have read there is no evidence that V alters hormone production or sex drive. Testes still work the same way, just the sperm can't leave them and so are therefore reabsorbed into the body.
mbear: I heard that too - just for the first couple. Even so, it's a definite argument against!
LIG: I have heard this too. I asked about it at my 6 week check with the GP when she was questioning us about contraception. She said most specialists are reluctant to see you until your youngest is 12mo. For the SIDS reason and also to give you that year to make sure you don't want any more.

Again, thanks to you all.

[Nai]

Nai: Was it you who posted your DH's journal on his V? I am planning on showing that to DH.

Yes that was me I hope he enjoys the read!

[krisp]

I have decided to go down the road of tubal ligation. My reasons are many for eg, I will be 40 next birthday and I simply don't want anymore children. Also, I'm a realist ,if (God forbid) something happened to me or we split up my DH could still make babaies with someone else for many years to come if that is what he wanted. I know I'm done (and right now that means we're done) with making babies but if my DH wanted to have another family with another should I be out of the picture I would want him to be able to.

[Trillian]

Is there anything in the hormonal affects a V have on men? I seem to remember my MIL said something about lowering testosterone, which can lead to all sorts of problems? We will be facing the same question soon.

Rory, there has been absolutely no affect on my DH at all afterwards except that he's not deadly now The testes continue to produce sperm, they just can't be ejaculated and they will be reabsorbed by the body. For some men there will be a decrease in sperm production over time after a vasectomy.