We are heading off to PIL's this weekend....and I swear everytime we go they question were mini me and tank sleep.....they try and try to get them to sleep upstairs in beds made for them in the same room as the boys...um...mini me would flip for starters...she likes her own bed at home but tends to sleep close to us when we go else were and tank ends up co sleeping with us. I have told them sooo many times its not funny.
Yet again, this morning on the phone I was asked if the cot should be put up because tank will need it from FIL??!!
WTF!!!!
What part of co sleeping dont you understand??
Im sick of being told how aweful it is...how grose and blah it is. How children need their own beds.
BUGGER OFF!!!!!
I know im going to get pumped by SIL's when we get down....have them roll their eye's at me yet again about it and immunisation (dont even get me started with that one).
But why is it so hard for people in general to understand or even comprehend that if your comfortable with it then so be it??? Why do they try to push you into something that just doesnt fit with your parenting choices?
Oh I'm sooooo with you here. We finally got DS sleeping through the night after 4 months of waking 2-3 times a night. My mum suggested chamomile tea and Brauer's teething remedy and it worked and we've been sleeping for the last 6 nights in a row. Anyhow went down to MIL's 2 nights ago and joyously told her what had happened and she rolled her eyes at me and told me I need to be giving him hot milo to get him to sleep trough. Yes crazy lady I will give my son who is allergic to dairy a hot milo made on milk that is full of sugar, chocolate (caffeine) and artificial flavours, even though we both know he's extremely sensitive to sugar.
For F***ks sake! I even explained that we had tried panadol and that didn't work, but no because she doesn't believe in alternate anything she thinks its hurting him and that its a bloody joke!
And she also grills me about letting DS come into our bed when he is screaming in pain from his teeth. Ok have it your way I'll let him scream on the couch for an hour.... NOT!!!!
I have in the past Lulu...but we arrive at about 8pm at night and the last thing I want to do with a sore arse is to drag 2 mattresses down stairs with 2 smalls kids hanging off me because their tires and excited about 'falling' down stairs KWIM. Plus MIL then gets all frantic and makes it know how silly it is
I think the most annoying thing is that I respect their belief's, their parenting, their choices and I had hoped they would respect ours back in return. Bit hard when my BIL's wives do everything by the book (literally) and my SIL's being nurses so everything is so clinical so I look like im the stupid one in their eyes.
I continuously have disposable wipes, nappies, book recommendations thrown at me....man they even know mario and his condition better then me ...especially when it comes to his eating habits
Ella - OMG she quiet obviously know he's allergic to milk? Seriously...I know they mean well but we do these things for a reason..not to make THEIR (meaning PIL's) lives hard. I used camomile for min...and fenal tea with a little bit of honey (tut tut)...works a blasted treat!!!! Thank good for your mum
Allergies don't exist according to some poeple. My MIL knows I'm allergic to soy lecithin but still either buys stuff full of it for us, or tosses all the packets of things so I can't check the ingredients.
So whenever I go there its either avoid the snacks there like the plague or endure a massive sneezing fit when I get home. I have a delayed reaction and don't stay there long so she's never seen me in ubersneeze mode - its not pretty.
We've been co-sleeping for 2 weeks and loving it. My MIL does not love it. She's seething! She keeps going on about the safety hazards, bought us cot sheets, and grilled us about when we were going to buy a cot. I told her it would more likely be a toddler bed cause we intend to co-sleep for awhile yet! She's tried dissuading us from doing it by telling me how noisy little boys can be - ha, I know! My newborn son is the noisiest sleeper and I LOVE IT. So bugger off woman!
What annoys me is that she seems to think we just woke up one day and said "Can't be bothered buying a cot, let's just let him sleep with us." Instead, we thought about it, talked about it, read about it, and assessed all the risks. Co-sleeping works for us, and we take it very seriously, like all our parenting decisions. Why does she think she has a right to tell us how bad co-sleeping is when she hasn't done her own research!
Maz- oh yeah she knows he's allergic to milk she seems to imply quite often that I'm making it up and scoffs every time I get the Oat milk out- yeah right because its really easy and enjoyable for me to deny him everything with milk in it that he wants!
My IL's always borrow a port-a-cot when we are visiting, even though we have told them that we won't use it and the baby will be fine in with us. They get it anyway "just in case"
My first thought after reading your post was why does it bother you so much? It's not like you are conforming to their ideals is it? No, you are sticking to your guns and doing what YOU think is right for YOUR children. IMO let it slide coz it's small stuff and that's the stuff you don't sweat. If they don't get it well let them be in blissful ignorance state of mind
See but hte problem with letting it slide is that if they are anything like my IL's they take silence or anythign other than no as a signal that you agree with them and then off they go on a whirl wind to convert every sinlge thing you are doing 'wrong' to their 'right' way of doing it. I've learnt this from experience. It's never a subtle push when they think you don't mind either its like a shove off a cliff!
I have tried in the past to do it Tiffany but youd think after 10 years of having their grandchildren and being in the family for almost 14 that they would know me. I wouldnt be truthful to myself let alone them if I didnt let them know how I feel. Yes it maybe a small thing....but those small things mount up to a stage that you explode and get asked why you didnt say something earlier.
Im already letting her take control over dudies 10th birthday celebrations with the family as he is her first grandson and its not worth the hassel to say no KWIM. PLus it makes her feel important and Im happy for her to be excited about his birthday.
oh the co sleeping thing, everyone always has an opinion hey. DOnt worry my son is going to be completely socially retarded because I let him sleep in my bed aparently.
Is is so hard when you have people against your parenting choices.
I would have thought your in laws would have given up on you by now, they should know that you cant be changed by now, geez!
GL, hope you can refrain from beating them all over the head while you're there
maz. the cosleeping thing is weird - even though i truly believe it's been the best thing for DS & i (so far), i still feel weird when i tell people. i really, really don't think he likes the cot but when i tell people that i feel like i sound as though i'm making excuses. argh!!!
i hope the weekend is relatively stress-free (miracles can happen chook!) & you don't get bombarded with too many comments. perhaps just "shhhh" them each time they say something? i'm sure tizzie hall & the other by the book people recommend it for babies, so why not for adults?
Maz - It's jsut whatever gets you through the night. Don't they get it??!! If you do put them upstairs, chances are that during the night they will get up and won't be able to find you, or worse - fall down the stairs!
Gosh - you would love my mum - she is all for it. In fact when the kids stay at her house, she DELIBERATELY puts them in with her for the night!
My mum was belittled by her MIL for sleeping with us, not letting us CIO, bottle feeding us (she had severe mastitis and was told to suck it up)
That is why she would never question anyones parenting choices. She is now a very popular babysitter as everyone knows she will listen to the parents and respect their wishes.
We are part time co-sleepers. DD usually starts out in her cot but ends up in our bed and takes up OVER 1/2. I honestly think she gets a little edgy being so closed in... However - I love co-sleeping, she sleeps, I sleep, DF sleeps - yay for sleeping!
It drives me batty when people hear that we co-sleep and feel the need to "convert" us. Whatever. Shall I tell you I don't believe in God too?? Oh let's get this party started!!!
We no longer see the IL's - thank god!
I thought we were supposed to be tolerant of peoples belief's and customs?
We're going home in a month and staying with my parents and my mum said "don't worry I'll buy a travel cot" and I said, "don't worry, she'll be sleeping with us" and my mum said "not in my house she won't" (WTF????). So I said "we'll stay somewhere else then".
What part of co sleeping dont you understand??!!!
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maz. the cosleeping thing is weird - even though i truly believe it's been the best thing for DS & i (so far), i still feel weird when i tell people. i really, really don't think he likes the cot but when i tell people that i feel like i sound as though i'm making excuses. argh!!! 
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