Why can't I get her into ANY type of routine? Why can't I get her to settle but my mother and friends can? Why won't she sleep at all in the afternoon no matter how hard I try - wrapping/feeding to sleep/cuddles/bouncer/crying it out/dummy.
I feel like a horrible mum cause I lose patientence so quickly. I was never like this with Miss J. I just want to yell at her all the time but I know that's not going to help.
(Sorry girls just whinging now - have the worst headache ;( and stressed )
First up, you're not doing anything wrong.
Some babies don't do routines, so forget about it if that's not working. If you're worked up, very tired (or have a headache) then getting your mum or someone else in to give you a break is a great idea. Sounds like you need a little R&R. We all know those first couple of months can be incredibly hard - even harder when baby doesn't conform to our ideas of how things should be (ie, sleeping at least a little bit!).
I'd say also you're probably extra tired because you've got an older child as well, no doubt that makes things harder still.
Cut yourself some slack, ok, you're not a horrible mum at all
As for a routine, I was told babies don't understand patterns until 12 weeks at the earliest. The first 12 weeks is the fourth trimester and the time for you and dd to bond. Routine comes when you know each other better. Fwiw it wasn't really until 6 months that I could see a routine with dd.
It's normal for her to be more fussy with you too...mum is where food comes from...and crying stimulates milk production. No use crying for nana milk
Congratulations on your new little girl. You're not doing anything wrong. it's so hard with sleep deprivation and an older child too to care for - there's no real time for rest at all. I felt like you first time round and then one day decided i'd feed my baby when she's hungry and she'll sleep when she's tired. However and as often as required. I would try to stop watching the clock as it can be too depressing (especially at night).
Do you have a sling? i found especially with DD2 i'd give it 20 mins max to try to get her to sleep and if she didn't, i'd pop her in the sling and she'd either drop off or not but i'd be free to do other things - like take my (then) toddler for a play in the park or even eat my food in peace (as i wasn't 'holding' a baby). Another advantage is she's close to your heart and upright which really helps with wind. Many babies seem to need to be held 24/7 around the 5 - 8 week period too and the sling was great for that.
My DD3 still doesn't have a routine apart from going to bed sometime between 6 and 7.30pm and i don't really expect one before she's 6 mths old (if she's anything like her sisters).
Sounds like my world here at the moment too hun! I totally understand where you're coming from.
Ds2 has no routine at all, apart from regular feeding times. Sleep happens here and there, when we're not paying bills, picking up or dropping ds1 off at kindy or doing any other day to day chores. I put him on his playmat this morning and looked down after I did the dishes and he'd fallen asleep on it!
The afternoons... that's another story. Not much sleep happens here!!! He's laying on me as I type now and is finally quiet after 10mins of solid screaming. He's exhausted but jsut won't settle for a decent sleep in the afternoon.
It's also the same with my mum or any friends who pop over in the afternoon. They can settle him no probs and he'll quite happily snooze on them for ages..... me.... not a chance! I'm putting it down to the fact that I'm the milk factory!
Hang in there hun, apparently it gets better!!
What am I doing wrong?
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