Has anyone ever dropped out of a mums group? I started going to one run by the local MCHN. It was good while it was at the Centre, but that only lasted 5 weeks and it kept going after that at various mums' houses etc.
There are 13 of us in the group, and I have persisted with it, but I don't really click with anyone. I kind of feel like the only things we have in common are that our kids are around the same age and we live in the same area.
I've kept going because none of my other friends have kids, so can't really relate to my life right now.
I also would like my DD to have a little group of friends before she starts preschool etc, so I guess I'm mainly doing it for her.
We last met on Monday, and I felt really alone, which is ironic because I was surrounded by people.
I guess if I feel bad after coming home from mums' group, that's a sign I shouldn't ignore.
Anyway, writing this has helped to clear things in my head. Thanks for listening.
It is really good to have friends with kids of a similar age to talk to, but you do obviously need to click. 13 is quite a big group too, which might back it harder to really get to know anyone.
Maybe there's some other way you could meet people.... hmmm, like Belly Belly. Hey, do you want to come to high tea next month?
It's tough in a group of 13 . My MG was originally about 10 and settled down to 7 of us that would meet regularly.
Is there anyone in the group who you think you could click with? If you keep going you may find that someone is feeling the same as you. It's quite common for MG to split into different groups.
It would be great if you could meet other people with kids around the same age as your little one, next time you see your MCHN see if she knows anyone or perhaps another group you could join.
Other things to try is a Play Group?
Marcellus is right..you can meet wonderful Men and Women here on BB, if you can't make the High Tea, perhaps put a post up in the Members area in WA state and see who lives in your area for meet up.
Hi GD! I agree with Marcellus, if you don't click with the girls then it makes it awfully hard to stick with it and 13 is a really big group - too big IMO. We started with 17 then it quickly dropped to about 14 and by the time the 5 weeks were up, we were down to 10 or 11. It was too difficult to stay together and we had kind of split without realising so we went our separate wasy - my group has only 5 of us and I love it. It still took a lot of hard work and weekly catchups to get to a more comfortable level with the girls but now I love it. I hang out to catchup with them. It's weird as they don't know me that well as we've been friends for less than a year but on the other hand, they know so much about my DD, my pregnancy, my labour and my life as a mum that I regard them as close friends. It is great having friends with kids of the same age.
Maybe stick it out for a bit longer and see if there is anyone that shares similar interests to you, besides your kids that is. Or if all else fails, meet up with some of the Perth girls at a Belly Belly catch up. I'm about to have a look at the details via the link in Marcellus' signature now
I had the same problem with my mothers group. There were about 8 of us. I was the youngest, the smallest gap in age berween me and the next youngest mum was 5 or 6years. The rest were older again. I felt I has nothing in common except ds.
In hindsight, I shoulda kept going, for a group of friends for ds, if nothing else. I also think the issues I had with the other mums was my own issues.
maybe see if there's someone who may feel a similiar way.
My MG hasn't started yet, but I was worried I might have the same problem as you. I've been lucky that my Antenatal Class only had 5 couples in it (all gave birth to boys) and we all caught up and have created our own "mother's group." I'm joining Gymbaroo this week, and going to a Mums & Bubs Yoga class as well.
Basically what I'm saying is that if your MG is not your thing, try something else. Even joining a Gymbaroo or Playgroup might be a good way to meet people. And you don't have to be friends with everyone - but hopefully you can click with one or two Mums/Dads and develop friendships (for you and your DD) from there.
ETA: My Doula has 5 kids, and she told me that the MGs she's been a part of have varied - some of them are full of women that she's remained good friends with, but others are the same as yours - the only thing they have in common is that they have babies and live in the same area. You're definitely not the only one to hit this problem with the MG.
We had about 12 in our mothers group, after it was stopped being run by the MCHN it was down to 4 or 5 that would turn up. After one mums bub turned 6 months she went back to work & we never heard from her again & another sent her bub to live with her mother (the baby's grandmother) in India & she told us she didnt want to come anymore because she felt like she didnt fit in without a child there. So there are only 3 of us now & we meet fortnightly, but I also meet up with one girl once or twice a week.
I dropped out of mine after going a few times. They were a very well established group and I found that I was playing catch up...... it was harder work than it should have been. Also, missy was just a bit too little to appreciate the other kids, so I figure I've got a bit of time to find some alternative for her when she gets a few months older.
A few friends have also got babies roughly the same age as missy so I try and catch up with them every week.
I had tried various mothers group and felt exactly the same as you. It is really hard when you are among people yet feel so lonely. I ended up giving up. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with PND and joined a support group that we are now friends and we see eachother every few weeks. I think because we all opened up to each other and they were genuinely lovely ladies.
Some playgroups are for babies, you could give that a go. Keep trying until you click with people you like. Perhaps you have a local community centre that holds play groups. Apart from that you could start up a chat with women you see with babies the same age as yours and suggest a coffee. Best of luck
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Mothers' Group woes
. My MG was originally about 10 and settled down to 7 of us that would meet regularly.
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